Reviews for Akatsuki Lair
anniegirl132 chapter 5 . 5/21/2014
Lol, funny and cute story, but I kinda wish it were longer... Oh well, good job still! :)
anniegirl132 chapter 2 . 5/21/2014
Lol, poor Deidara, Sasori is mean, but still adorable! :D
NaruHina108 chapter 5 . 2/4/2013
OMG i loved the ending how Hidan is like "Well yeah but im afraid this fucking ninja recognized me XD ROTFL I guess Kakashi really does love that series LOL anyway i love this story so far including the USFA part. Keep it up
Victor B. Thomas chapter 5 . 11/1/2012
Hilarious! u turned the stern, serious villians into funny idiots, and it's a great job!
few questions..
why spell Uchiha as Uchiwa?
is Pain in his Deva Path or as Nagato?

and update soon! :D
iPNOYninja chapter 1 . 4/4/2012

Hi People!

I wrote a fanfic on the Akatsuki, too.

Its called "His Secret Akatsuki Fanfic" Its based on the Akatsuki and my OC. PLZ READ AND REVIEW!
Heatherine chapter 5 . 5/28/2011
Final chapter review!

A great way to end the story, if I do say so myself!

Poor Kisame can't just enjoy his bath in peace! I thought it was funny that he named one of his pet fish after Suigetsu! XD

I loved his shark-pattern towel too, I could see him walking about in one of those! But shame on him, you shouldn't open your roomie's mail! Still, I liked the fact that Itachi uses Sasuke's fangirl network to keep an eye on his little brother! It was very sweet.

Poor Hidan, he can't even watch his porno in peace! And now he has brought the wrath of Konoha down upon them all!

I have to say, I loved this whole story. It was genuinely funny it is a rare author that can do comedy well. I enjoyed watching your grammar and your mastery of the English language grow between February and October of 2007, and each chapter of the story was generally better than the last!

There isn't a whole lot to critique about this fic, which is quite amazing since it was your first, on this site at least. You're quite a talented writer, and I am eager to read your King Mystogan story next!

See you there~
Heatherine chapter 4 . 5/28/2011
Hehe, I really liked chapter 4! Again, Hidan was the character that made me laugh the most with all of his talk about masochistic porn. XD For some reason, Hidan being a ravenous sadomasochistic pervert really fits with his character!

Poor Itachi, he really tried to spare himself of the embarrassment of having his dark secret exposed...but to no avail! Nice to see Konan show up in this chapter, too.

Like the last chapter, I don't have anything to really critique here. I thought it was very funny, and it is very interesting to watch your writing abilities gradually improve from chapter to chapter!

On to the last and final chapter!
Heatherine chapter 3 . 5/28/2011
And here is the third chapter's review!

The laughs continue! I actually did laugh out loud when Hidan started bragging about his nail polish! That was very, very funny! No real complaints about this chapter, so I don't have a lot to say.

I liked how Deidara was understandably frightened of the more 'grim' members of Akatsuki. After all, who wouldn't be scared of Kakuzu?

I'm looking forward to seeing how you handle Itachi! So, overall I like this chapter and have no criticisms for you this time. Well done!
Heatherine chapter 2 . 5/28/2011
Okay, the second chapter. Wow, considering this was only written a little while after the first chapter, your English seems to have improved a great deal!

Again, Deidara and Sasori were written nicely and I like the way you depicted their budding relationship! It was very cute indeed, both Sasori and Deidara.

A couple of notes, however.

'Then, Deidera turned around, grinning stupidly (that's from Sasori's pov of course).'

If you had stopped with 'Then, Deidera turned around, grinning stupidly' the sentence would have been quite funny. By stopping to explain it to us however, you broke the natural flow of the joke and took us out of the story. Don't underestimate your reader's ability to grasp the situation!

Kisame getting emotionally angry was a bit out of character. He always remains soft-spoken and calmly cheerful, only ever showing mild irritation in the face of things like Gai being unable to remember him. Buuuut~! Since this is a comedy fanfic, it may have been intentional and it isn't a big deal even if it wasn't.

Overall, another funny and cute chapter! I can see that you were already growing as a talented writer even back in 2007! I wish I could read the two fics you wrote in french, but I sadly cannot speak the language.

Anyway, on to the next chapter!
Heatherine chapter 1 . 5/28/2011
Okay! Since it was your first story, I decided to review this one first. I can tell that when you wrote this in 2008 you were still in the process of learning English, and I know you have greatly improved since then so I won't bother critiquing your grammar.

The first chapter was funny for both how in-character Deidara, Kisame and Sasori were and for how out of character the super-cheerful Pain was. It was a contrast that surprised me at the end and made me smile!

Let's see, what else can I say? Oh, the premise of the story itself was quite good! It reminded me of those little scenes they do at the end of the Anime where the characters break the fourth wall to comment on the show and their role in it!

Overall a very cute and funny first chapter, and a great setup for the rest of the story!
JackRoy chapter 5 . 8/22/2009
sweet cant wait till the next chapter byby
kitsune chapter 5 . 9/19/2008
after the chibi episode can you do one where deidara is singing the lullabies please!
Polish chapter 5 . 6/6/2008
Thud! -falls over in a face plant!- OM6! you have GOT to be kidding me! I cant believe Kakashi was there! (JK, I can believe it! )lol, please comeback and update! this is really good!
BlackGipsie chapter 5 . 2/21/2008
WHEN IS YOUS GONNA UPDATE...S? I WANT TO HEAR MORE! this was like the first akatsuki fanfic i read and i loved it so much i had to read others but now there are no new ones!
L0Z3R chapter 5 . 11/26/2007
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