|Reviews for Hidden Desire|
| TheRedBandit chapter 4 . 8/5/2007
Awesome story so far. Although I think I know who it is, it's great none the less. Update soon!
| Racerchick chapter 3 . 8/5/2007
this chapter was good but...I have a feeling that since most people didn't have electricity way back then that they didn't have 1) bands and 2) microphones. Other than that this is shaping up to be a good story.
| Racerchick chapter 2 . 8/4/2007
Okay so I read the two chapters and I must say that I think this stories going a little Mary Sue on me. I'm interested to find out who's stocking her but well it seems a little more played out. I could do with a little more details and I hope that you get more detail as you go on.
In the first chapter you said that Mandy took out a cigarette and lit it using a lighter...I'm not sure they had them in 1899...so I guess I wanted you to be historically accurate.
The second chapter seemed to fall into place and well...again I have to say it made it very Mary Sue. Everything good and bad has happened to this girl: no parents, all the newsies like her, someone's stocking her the list goes on and on but I think once the story gets more added to it theres a good chance of recovering.
Good job and update