|Reviews for Hannah Montana & The Jonas Brothers plus 1|
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/31/2017
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/7/2015
tj geant nick trezza to me eye to ji
| CourtneyJonas chapter 1 . 12/19/2009
yeah you need to use quotation marks " "
its very hard to see what is being spoken by the people.
Also try to use past tense cos it makes the story more interesting..
| headntheclouds chapter 6 . 12/15/2007
I really like this for the most part. I think you need to brush up on formatting and how to make things flow a bit better. Use " " and the other grammatical marks, it helps readers understand the material. I think once you fix that then itll be a lot better. Your actual story is pretty good though and I would encourage you to fix it up.
| NAOMI'shines chapter 1 . 9/18/2007
It would make more sense if there was puncuation.
| Nick Jonas's girlfriend 16 chapter 6 . 8/31/2007
you should add a sequel
| eddielover1 chapter 6 . 8/24/2007
this is awsome
| punette101 chapter 6 . 8/19/2007
| countrygrl1009 chapter 1 . 8/13/2007
I'd love to read this, but you need to fix it up a bit. If you put quotations marks ("like this") and then put said Joe, or brittany or whatever, it would be easier to read. I'm putting this in my favs, instead of writing more right away, maybe you should just edit it, then add more : )
it sounds great, though.
| nitroglycerinexplodes chapter 5 . 8/10/2007
You see that? ""
I can barely even read this. Don't use 'says' used 'said' (since this past tense, amirite?). More details. Correct all grammar/spelling mistakes.
| chicagonebananas chapter 1 . 8/5/2007
um... to tell you the truth i could not read that... a bit of advice, don't write everything in bold for two reasons:
1) it makes it a little bit harder to read and is sort of distracting
2) i think it's also again FF rules to write everything in bold.
also don't say (End POV) say something like author's POV or third person. also use quotations around speaking parts and break them up like you have:
Nick get up says Joseph my 17 year old brother. I am sitting here watching him try to wake up our younger brother. My names Brittany Jessica Jonas and my brothers are the Jonas Brothers. I am in the middle and am Joe’s twin I’m younger by 1 minute and he never lets me forget it. Now back to my brothersEnd POV) Joe just say something that will make him get up says Brittany. Like what ask Joe?
write it like this:
"Nick get up," says Joseph, my 17 year old brother.
I am sitter here watching him try to wake up our younger brother. My names Brittany Jessica Jonas and my brothers are the Jonas Brothers. I am in the middle and ma Joe's twin. I'm younger by 1 minuet younger and he never lets me forget it. Now back to my brothers.
"Joe just say something will make him get up!" Says Brittany.
"Like what?" Ask Joe.
also you really need to use punctionation. and i think you switched tenses a couple of times like you went from prestent to past. also don't use parenthises like you have:
(2 hours later) write something like:
Two hours passed and...
but it seems like an intresting story and i hope you revise and repost this chapter and continue!
| HSMDramaPrincess chapter 1 . 8/5/2007
I like the story so far, but do you need to write in all bold? And try quotation marks, they really help. That would make this story a lot better. Saying 'says so and so' gets pretty annoying. Try other words. Other than that, the story is really good!
| blackkeysrtherealthing chapter 1 . 8/5/2007
i love the title "HM and the JoBros plus 1" update soon