Reviews for Lucifer's Story
IpiuGate chapter 1 . 11/17/2016
I get that this humor and all, but this is the Bible. I think there is a limit to how much you can joke with it. People have recently been killed for making humorous comments about the Quran so even though Christians are more relaxed, think about it?
Other than that your post is not bad but it's more of a plot outline than a real story so maybe you should consider reworking it.
SilverBladeDraco chapter 1 . 9/28/2014
"A bigger pool and a bigger house" "angel apartment complex" XD lol!
*hugs Lucy* Very amusing! I enjoyed it!
Who cares what the others say about it not being serious enough, I write too many fanfics about Lucifer myself and this is an awesome spoof/comedy version. It totally made my day!
A St chapter 1 . 4/4/2014
Do you even know how much you sound like my 17 year old brother? You're bloody cool and I'd give anything to have you as my Religion teacher.
V.W. Norton chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
nice. very creative and amusing. ) keep it up!
BeMyHeroSeverus chapter 1 . 10/16/2009
interesting take on Lucifer

I gotta say

I liked it

LonelyDragon17 chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
i gotta say... this made me laugh :)

i love the part where you said that lucifer lived in an apartment complex..

hehe... awesome :)
TheWeepingLady chapter 1 . 6/22/2009
Hee hee, it made my smile. _ I like your idea of Satan...its rephreshing and comical. :P
lionesseyes13 chapter 1 . 11/9/2007
At first, when I read the opening, I thought that you were delibrately lowering the lanquage quality a little to mimic the effect of a fairy tale, hence the employment of the "Once upon a time". When I got to the swimming pools and apartment complexes, I knew that was not the case. I knew then that you were not trying to mimic a fairy tale tone delibrately, but rather just did not know how to expand upon your ideas, whch if you're going with Lucifer, there's a lot that can be done. Why did he fall? Why did the best loved/most handsome angel fall so hard and so fast? How come God didn't see it? What was the battle like? How did Lucifer seduce his rebel angels? How did Lucifer feel about being kicked out of heaven, and sent down to Hell? Does he want revenge? Will he get it?

I think you may have intended this to be satirical, and I'm fine with that. I'm all for religious satire, but please try to bring up the quality of your writing before you attempt to do a satire, because satires are very difficult to write well. Also, if you want to check out a classic that deals with a similar idea, check out Milton's Paradise Lost. It's written in such a manner that mnay think Satan (Lucifer) is the protaganist. It's a long poem, and the language takes a little getting used to, but other than that, Paradise Lost is a good read, and defiantely influences writing. You can get a few tips from Milton and try again.
RaDoCa88 not signed in chapter 1 . 8/30/2007
Not really all that funny.

Supernatural realities of good and evil are not something to take lightly... but I'm always willing to check something out to see if it has some witty observations.

This did not.

Witty observations require a bit of a knowledge base of the subject matter... and a bright intellect to use that knowledge base to produce clever and entertaining insight... without violating the basic realities of the subject matter.

There was... well... none of that to be found at all in this piece of writing.

Disappointingly banal. Too bad.
Haligh chapter 1 . 8/23/2007
People, get a life. This is a joke fic XD

Let-Me-Fall-Off, this could be a really really funny novel. You should write it out as a chapter story!
person chapter 1 . 8/23/2007
Take a creative writing lesson. okeydoke. Lucifer was a seriously bad creature and should be taken more seriously. take it to the streets and drop it in a sewer
kid chapter 1 . 8/23/2007
kid how old are you?

nice twist on it
Atarah Derek chapter 1 . 8/22/2007
Where'd he get the real estate for Hell? Ha ha ha, you know, you oughta write about the real estate agent who sold it to him (and then pitch him as a landlord trying to sell apartment complexes therein to humans)! Be careful that you don't get too sacrilegious, though. But that was pretty funny. Not completely canon, but funny.
Nat chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
AWESOME! Totally love it! Hilarious!
T.J Miller chapter 1 . 8/14/2007
Ok, not bad, but you need to elaborate a little. This is Heaven, there really are not materialistic things in Heaven. Why would God have a pool? I dunno. I doubt God would have a mansion. I always thought of Lucifer the fallen angel, as an angel who tried to take over Heaven. He was Jealous of God's power.

Overall, good story, but you need some serious elaborating, and have the materialistic things taken away. OK? But thats just my opinion.