|Reviews for A Perfect Sight|
| Victoriam Speramus chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
Brilliant. DA and aliens is a very unexplored territory, and you gave it both a nice touch of ML fluff and a very S1 ending. Loved it.
| Babyangel86 chapter 1 . 8/24/2007
lol, u need to be shot!
... or at least whacked around the head again!
cant beleive u, shy n arie cooked this up! lol, amusing... no doubt!
... stil, i agree with logan... they really shouldnt have gotten out of bed!
| BlueAngel137 chapter 1 . 8/17/2007
Cool story. Honestly, I really liked it. Don't know if I qualivy for being insane now but I really don't care. :P I love that you draw a circle and I absolutely love the beginning:
-...He wasn’t quite sure how he’d gotten here, but he knew he liked it.
His mind felt fuzzy, his memory hazy, a smear of Vaseline on the lens of his life, but he suddenly didn’t care because the picture before him was perfect.
A charcoal colored sheet was tucked under her arms securing it to her chest, but she had turned in sleep, exposing one perfect, bare shoulder and a few tantalizing inches of back, partially obscured by the long, brown hair he had never expected to see on his sheets. ...
(Sorry I copied the whole paragraph. But it's so good ... so damned good ... brilliant!)
An UFO - he, he - who would've thought?
-...“Wow,” Logan’s eyes went wide in awe and shock over the floating silver disk above them radiating the glow somehow.
“Yea,” she curtly nodded from next to him, her hand suddenly clutching his a little tighter. “Just when we learned to expect the Reds,” she swallowed hard, “we get the Blues,” she tried to let out a lighthearted smile as Logan looked down at her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. ...
(LOL, Reds and Blues - huh? ;))
Love the idea of Lydecker and Jonas defending the "excellence" and "advantages" of their "kids" to a red, furry creature ... :D very funny, very well done!
-...They turned and looked at each other, suddenly more distant and more familiar than ever, “Weird,” they said in unison with squinting eyes as if they could see past that smear of Vaseline if they tried hard enough. They turned back to the road and shook their heads, after all there were bad guys to be caught, a broken world to mend, an odd dream, a peculiar feeling…Those weren’t real. ...
(Great part again and I also love the ending.)
Just have to say it again: a VERY enjoyable read. Love it. It's simply perfect. THANKS.
| intstebri chapter 1 . 8/13/2007
I just don't know what to say. Could I save me with 'Hi! I read it!' ?
Aliens... At least they didn't show up in the bedroom (where your writing was a pure delight)
If I put this in a dream, okay I loved it. But you didn't let us think it was merely a dream, did you?
I'm gonna keep my 'Hi! I read it' idea... and just add to this that I'm willing to read anything else you could write in that kind!
| Writers' Pulse chapter 1 . 8/10/2007
How'd I miss this? Mari sent me over; I was ready to tell you a comment on DAR wasn't enough of a response, and I wanted a whole story, and here it is! And everyone is right; you took a fun but pretty out-there idea and made it a clever story that works!
The bedroom scene was lovely; the scene with M & L trailing along amid others' comments going up to the roof & all the observations about the UFO were nicely compelling, adding to the tension of the shift from bedroom to flying saucer.
The scene in the UFO is hysterical, with so many nice elements: the appearance of Jonas & Lydecker (not at all hard to believe those two are on the same team!), Jonas' snobby comment about the years of fine breeding in Logan as opposed to Max being slapped together to see what happened, and M & L's attempts to pipe up while tied down.
And about the end: my then-nearly-elderly 8th grade English teacher once gave us a writing assignment to do something really way out, and rather scornfully said "and do *not* end it by saying 'and they woke up and it was all a dream.'" That scarred me (and scared me) for life, so I have always been leery of using that as an ending- but you didn't just do that,you finessed it to make it outcome of the Red Fella's order, why Logan was shot ... or not! :D This leading the clue Max discovered- her hair seeming shorter than it should be & Logan thinking she was right - all effectively moving us from the S2 photo back to S1. Very, very tasty.
Thanks for doing this! Now I can feel good about thinking that photo/cap is so cool!
| homicidalslayer chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
Abducted by Aliens.
Abducted by Aliens?
ABDUCTED by **ALIENS**?
When do Scully & Mulder show up?
| Mari83 chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
I never would have thought that an alien story could work in DA (I mean even flying snake-people were too much), but oddly somehow this one does, and I think the reason is because you always remind us that for them being abducted by aliens (or whatever higher power) is just as weird and scurrile and unexpected as for a S1 purist reader.
Of course I enjoyed the M/L fluff in the beginning and the little banter bits like those:
“World can just stay broken Logan,” he muttered to himself as he quickly went to join her in getting dressed.
“This really doesn’t seem like a good idea,” Logan shook his head as he took the step behind her.
“Should be right up your alley then,”
The idea of Jonas and Lydecker discussing the breeding qualities has a somehow fascinating, scurrile comic. Again I would have thought it’s impossible to write an in-character Jonas involved in an alien breeding-program, but it works and certainly is an unusual but effective way of conveying his belief in his way of living and the Cale’s superiority. Especially liked this one:
“You know I’ve been wondering about boot camp or maybe a survival course of some sort, we should have looked into that for Logan. I think it would have helped him become a man instead of…” his head shook, “the boy spent too much time with his mother. Culinary skills,” he scoffed.”
“Their offspring would be too advanced for our needs, combining their genetic structures would threaten our existence. We must ensure they do not procreate.”
This must be one of the most creative and original proofs of why it should be M/L:-)
“They’re on Garfield going over the railroad tracks.”
Made me laugh just because of my ignorance that Garfield is a real name, not just the cat:-p
Really like the ending, so much more sneaky than just make it perfectly clear that it was only a dream. (And am I reading too much into Logan going from seemingly being able to walk to paralyzed and the decision not to let them ‘breed’?)
Shy should make more such unusual challenges:-)
| darkest angel6490 chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
i am so confused...so max and logan got ubducted by aliens? or lydecker and jonas?
| lisa316 chapter 1 . 8/8/2007
Ok, when I first saw that you actually did this, I rolled my eyes heavenward. But I read on and discovered I should be less cynical because it was a really good story. It's kinda got an X-files feeling to it: strange and hard to follow and sort of unbelievable at first, but it all gets tied together with a clever ending that explains everything so brilliantly.
Mia, you're an artist, and losing your mind aparently didn't have any effect on your excellent story telling abilities. I'm impressed; well done!