Reviews for Asch's Diner Advenchur
LiquidNitrous chapter 1 . 9/30/2013
Please not spell like a fool.
Pleaseremovethisaccount1 chapter 1 . 8/31/2011
I can hear the dictionary screaming in agony at this broken story. Do us all a favor and learn to write.
Animegod 197 chapter 1 . 4/5/2010
This is not a story. It's a massacre of the English language. Your piece of shit is in the wrong category for starters, your spelling and grammar is non-existent, and there is no punctuation to speak of, just one garbled block of text. If you think this is good, let me tell you right now, it is the most atrocious excuse of literature since My Immortal.

Take this down, delete your account, burn all copies of this eyesore, and throw your laptop and/or desktop computer in a lake, after pouring battery acid and gasoline on it and setting it on fire. If your family uses a desktop, your parents should ban you from it until you can type or write with the intelligence of someone older than one.

To summarize, you suck donkey balls and I don't ever want to see anything from you on this site again. Good day to you.
Pile-a-poo chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
Oh my, my, my! What an entertaining mind you have, my dear. i hope yu hav a wundrful liif and riit mor win yu kan.
Propaganda Session chapter 1 . 6/21/2008
I lol'd.
ultamit-riter chapter 1 . 12/5/2007
wowy tat iz a grate storee. U r almosed as ultamit as me
Natsume Y chapter 1 . 8/11/2007
Ok. I read your review on Kasper A. Vestergaard's story.

Without even reading your story, I can tell a lot of things about you. You review and attempt to praise your own story. You don't even admit that your writing is far more substandard that substandard, and have the nerve to say that this story is 'grate', in your own words. Four out of five words are not in acceptable English. FYI, that word 'grate' means 'bars in front of a fire'. And that is true. You deserve to be flamed. I emphasise that line. Your attitude is terrible.

And contrary to your belief, I have read your story.

Firstly. This story is in the totally wrong category. It's Pokemon, not Aeon Flux. Not like I would know, since the story's practically impossible to read anyway.

FYI, the basic plot elements are plot, setting, characters, mood and atmosphere, theme and point-of-view. If you even understand what that means. I would love to see how all that can be developed in a one-paragraphed story which doesn't even make sense. In fact, the sub-basic spelling, grammar and punctuation is nonexistent as well.

You have characters, but they're more mangled than a windbreaker through a dryer. You have plot, but it's flat, shallow and short. You have atmosphere, and that's one that makes you look stupid.


1. Spelling.

2. Grammar.

3. Punctuation.

4. Paragraphing.

5. Nonexistent disclaimer.

6. non-understanding of writing.

7. non-understanding of genre.

8. non-understanding of the English language in general

9. Length.

I shall not waste my time correcting errors since you won't accept them, and because there's just no point since the entire story is one big error. You are what a writer fears to become and spends his/her whole life working against.

I suggest you pick up a Mickey Mouse Disney baby's book to see how you should be writing, for starters. If you can even read it. Frankly, a baby who can't read could write better stories than you.

I shall not wish you luck with your future writing. Please take this story down, rip it to pieces and do not come back until you have learnt the fundamentals of writing. You are shaming the entire Pokemon community by writing this.

-Natsume, Psychic Commander
Hofdert chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
Dis storee is 2 grate