|Reviews for Halo: Halos in Space 2: Aliens attack|
| lordnegromancer chapter 1 . 3/19/2009
This is so creative! Why would someone nitpick grammar when the idea behind the story is so much fun for anyone who is familiar with Halo? I don't get it.
But... you shall be avenged.
| Shadowdancer21b chapter 1 . 3/15/2009
Why no more? I honestly am interested to learn what happens to Joe Chief and the aliens. This story entertained me and my friends at work. We laughed and laughed.
| Gryphus-OnE chapter 1 . 1/17/2009
Although it has been almost 2 years since you posted this story, there IS a way to improve your English skills. The quickest way (I believe)is to read as MANY English books as you can e.g. Harry Potter (this series jump started my English reading and writing like many other people of the Harry Potter hype), Eragon, or even classics such as Of Mice and Men. Improve your English reading and understanding skills first. Observe how real authors write and organize their stories and words. Once you can start writing grammatically correct sentences, and paragraphs should you then bring your imagination into full swing. *You can ask around for VERY well written stories in to help you improve your English.
| Aloria chapter 1 . 12/6/2008
To be fair, you're actually doing fairly well, given that English isn't your native language.
Here are a few pointers:
in dialogue, when the speaker changes, make a new paragraph.
here's an example:
“Bogies to the left!” one soldier called to his mate.
“We're gonna die!” the other man shouted back.
“Not if I've got any say in it!” Joe Chief snapped.
“We're surrounded, we can't win this!” the second soldier objected.
“Watch.” Inside his helm, Joe Chief smirked.
You can use dialogue to further flesh out your characters, giving them more defined personalities by the way they react to things - that way, we're sad when Soldiers 1 and 2 eat spines. (nom!)
Additionally, with battles, I've found that it's best to stick close to a character and follow their movements as they attack and dodge. Try having the crap beaten out of Joe, make it look like he's about to lose before letting him win. It makes for a gripping story.
You should keep writing.
Don't let these silly people make you quit. If you like writing and are using fanfiction to practice (like I do) then do it! Practice is what helps you get better!
| Anime Moon Dancer chapter 1 . 8/14/2008
Hi i just wnated to tel you that you are favirte author english not my first languge ether and you are inspiraton
i liekd your ran strige fic it wuz very emotionle and i cryed redding it
thank you for your telant
love form veronica
| Demache chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
This is awesome! How can something be so stupid and good at the same time? I love your Halo and Half-Life parody fanfics. I hope you write more someday!
Oh and by the way, he writes this horribly on purpose. Watch Half-Life: Full Life Consequences on YouTube which is his first fanfic turned into a video. Its hilarious!
| xprisonicfairytalex chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
Man, I wanna go to Halo Town and see that " bzzt bzzt chrg ".
Then I wanna visit Alien Town and fight the aliens with hands and feet.
| anon amos chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
... the only way to do this bad is to do it on pourpose
| ME R A MAN chapter 1 . 5/15/2008
Spines alien was no baby, man.
| Super Awesome Dragon Dudes chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
You... are... amazing. You make my day in every way. Kudos to you.
| theoriginalsteve chapter 1 . 3/1/2008
I have read many things in my time, written by both amateurs and professionals; fiction and non-fiction. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING comes close to the genius of this piece. In fact, I shall write into my last will and testament that this piece of fan-fic must be engraved on my headstone when I pass on into the great unknown. Squirrelking, I owe you my eternal gratitude for "Halo: Halos in Space 2: Aliens attack". Thank you.
| Trapvader chapter 1 . 2/29/2008
My man, you are doing exceedingly well considering this is your second language. A little more time, patience, and a bit of reading it through before posting it, and you will be making some seriously impressive fanfics. Oh, and it's spelt Warthog, not War Thog. The warthog is a type of wild pig with tusks. Hey, whaddaya know, you learn something new every day now don't you?
Keep writing, don't be discouraged by the b*stards that keep putting you down and keep on trying. :)
| Felstaff chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
I might have paid for the entire chair, but I only needed the edge when I read this story.
This must be your magnificent octopus.
| Chilari chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
Why isn't anyone paying you to write these yet? Seriously; there must be a magazine out there that wants this kind of comedy in print on their pages.
I was reading this one aloud to my boyfriend (what, females on the internet?) and more than once ran out of breath due to lack of punctuation - I want to see this more often in your next story!
| Hermisia chapter 1 . 9/21/2007
Another awesome fic. You keep shining you crazy crazy rainbow star.