|Reviews for Umi no Uta|
| TheRedScreech chapter 1 . 5/16
Wow. This is magnificently beautiful. I love your prose; it's so visionary and poetic. The flashbacks are thoughtful and philosophical and just beautiful. This is an incredible piece. Thank you.
| ducky76 chapter 1 . 8/30/2008
Wow. I think this may be the best single-chapter TMNT story I have ever read. It's so introspective. Many people try to delve into the complexities of Leonardo and Raphael, but no one has ever done it so well. This was such a fresh take on their relationship and their history. I am extremely impressed with your writing. It's so thoughtful and detailed.
| Rai Science chapter 1 . 3/31/2008
this is a great story and i truly hope you will continue to write into this series.
| KameTerra chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
I was going to leave reviewing to when I'd finished your trilogy, but I just finished reading this for FFA and I absolutely couldn't walk away from this without responding.
This was simply unbelievable-even after having read some of your writing, this still took me completely by surprise. Thoughtful and chilling and heart-rending...well, if I said all the things that SHOULD be said it would be longer than the story itself! Your take on Raph as a child is so unique, as well as on Leonardo's character. It makes me want to reach in to the story to shake each one of them and force them to understand one another... and the same time I am so grateful to you for making it so complex that deep down I know that's not the way life is.
"Leonardo frightened him, bottling up everything he felt, and giving no real implication of what he would do with the trapped energy once it became overwhelming"
This line stopped me dead, because I completely beleived it.
And I really sympathize with Splinter's position. Like me, the reader, he can see what's going on, but is helpless to "fix" it. He is so wise, and the mixture of compassion and tough love is completely understandable the way you portray it.
"So he knew when to hang back, when to be silent and observant, and let his children tell him the story through the poetry of their actions."
This line pretty much says it perfectly.
Lastly, I love the way you write chibi tales. All the others I've read come across like... cartoons. But this has so much realism and... darkness... and love, it brought tears to my eyes more than once.
Anyway, I haven't yet tackled Walking the Line (either of them), but you've got me absolutely trembling for more. Thanks for sharing, and I suspect I've made your head grow large enough for the time being, so I'll just conclude with
| Samu chapter 1 . 10/29/2007
I think I get really spoiled when I read your fanfics. They make me have high expectations for everyone else. :)
I love seeing Splinter's point of view, since he's been missing for so long and without a voice. It's interesting to see how he tried to shape the boys' growth and learning, and had mixed results. I also like how you worked through what the age order was.
As always, I love your depiction of Raph. He always seemed like the odd one out, and your backstory for him explains this beautifully. I also love Leo's darker side, since we don't seem to see much of it otherwise.
| misseditallagain chapter 1 . 10/15/2007
Wow... the language in this just flowed so nicely. It was a pleasure to read. _
| GreenWillow chapter 1 . 9/23/2007
I haven't read all of your work yet and I want to do so in order, but this came to me by way of a recommendation, and I'm glad I read it, even if out of order. I love you lyrical writing style, the passages where Splinter is contemplating the unfolding of his children's lives are wonderful.
Interesting take on the Leo/Raph conundrum. I'm really looking for ward to reading the *rest* of your fics!
| Sassyblondexoxo chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
THAT WAS FRICKING AMAZING. So introspective...and absolutely eloquent. I love the way that young Leonardo is developed - you are one of the few talented author's that can give Leo the depth and realness his character begs for, instead of painting him as a walking perfect cliche.
Although the last paragraph was particularly awe inspiring, this one was my favorite:
Raphael is perhaps the only thing his son Leonardo has ever liked strongly. Splinter has known Leonardo to love many things—his family, and honor, and martial arts, and reading—but to like, really like, is a feeling always reserved for a person nestled down within Raphael that perhaps the rest of them cannot see. Family is not made up of friends one would choose, yet Splinter wonders about his twins—they are magnets, and had they not been brothers, we wonders what they would have been instead. He knows, steadfastly, that they would not be strangers. Nor enemies. Perhaps not even friends. They are used to occupying categories for each other that most social creatures have, but their family does not and never can—friends, rivals, infatuations, obsessions, scapegoats, mirrors, admirations, longings, commanding and possessing, fighting and sharing, tangled together in a knot, interwoven lives and minds, their personalities tied to one another. They have made each other, playing brother’s mother, bequest of the mind.
THANK you for your wonderful insight. You were able to put these two brother's emotions and very existance into words that were nearly palpable, they created such strong images.
| kytyngurl2 chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
WHY DOESN'T THIS HAVE MORE REVIEWS? T_T
Lovely... just... wow. As usual- this is intense, emotional, deep, unique, and very lushly and vividly written. Your command of the english language continues to impress, and I remain in shocked awe over your treatment of the characters. And of your bravery- children -are- mean, and I think a lot of people like to paint over that fact with pink nostalgia.
I loved a lot of your turns of phrase- so pretty!- and your continued use of the 'umi/sea' imagery. Nice linking method there. I also really do admire your dark, twisted, but very believable takes on the characters- bullying!Leo, morbid!Raph... just, wow. A lifetime of living in a tiny group with no escape can have this effect on people.
So, yes, this was really well done and painfully (in the good way) enjoyable! *glomps* I really wish you got more feeback for this. It's impressive, lovely, amazing, and it's obvious you put a lot of time into it (it's so huge and well thought out!) and heart and spirit too. This shows, and wow...
Much much much love. There aren't words for it. Great job!
| Tristripe chapter 1 . 8/13/2007
this is just too much...O.O...too much. after t his chapter i am left reeling, wanting more, wanting an epic that follows the boys and splinter throughtout their childhood...
i can see it now. i remember the time i was aghast that splinter struck leonardo. it is cause splinter KNOWS his son, knows how easily manipulates raphael, plays with words, keeps his secretes and refuses to let anyone help if it were between him and raph. like splinter said, he knew things went amiss, that his eldest was a bully, but he could only see what he saw with his own eyes, and as the boys got older it became harder to read them.
i must say, splinter has done a most excellent job with the boys, he did as he knew best, and i can see that clearly. he was no blind fool, he knew that there was imperfection and darkness, yet still he loved fiercly and refused to give up teaching and learning.
it shows in the beginning, mikey in early toddlerhood admiring raph...his first word was raphi's name. and leo's jealousy that mikey could DARE take his attention from him...cheer him up. sheesh.
i can also see where leo comes from, wanting to fiercly protect and be needed. but raph as he grows doesnt need him, and so he clings to that need, and uses his manipulation to make SURE raph would need him. dude, still, i would have gone for leo's throat after hearing about the maggot incident! but then he was young, a child, and as you stated many a time, children are cruel.
and the fight in the end O.O raph stated it right there, for all of them to hear, not just leo. to love someone is to be mean and cruel...he was not insane at all. it also shows how splinter KNOWS his son is hidden in there beneath all that strangeness, feeling just as strongly as bfore.
though leo's tears broke my heart, raph's tears broke my heart. i blame leo but then...i dunno...
they are mirror images of themselves. Raphael feels enough for the both of them. leo sees raph's weakness as his. his joy and tears are HIM in the mirror. Leo cries that raphael wished him to disappear...and i think its not only that...
raph in despair wishes the HE himself would disappear, and as a reflection of leo's unspoken, secretive emotions, it PROOVES that leonardo wishes to disappear. raph reflects what leo is. his anger, rage, despair, even his morbidity.
but there is one thing raphael could never reflect. that cruelty and obsession to control. leonardo's love crushes and kills. splinter knew that leo would loose raphael...it would happen eventually if leonardo did not back off in his controlling ways...
and first leo lost him...
and now Raphael has disappeared...
and leonardo has ceased to exist.
| sunbune chapter 1 . 8/12/2007
while I probably won't go looking for the previous 18 chapters, I have to say this introspection on the four toddler turtles dragged me out into its ocean like a riptide.
Your writing is beautiful. "oiling the wall with his shadow" -so beautiful. I love it.
couple of things:
I love your Japlish-speaking baby turtles. I talked to a Spanglish-speaking four-year old yesterday and noticed the pattern of mixing two languages and repeating things in both languages for emphasis just as you have little Leo doing.
Also LOVE the quadruple bunkbeds from the first few episodes of the old toon. They actually show it when the bunks finally collapse under the turtles own weight- I always imagined it was because the turtles grew up faster than they realized, as if they all just filled out overnight, just like human teenagers seem to do sometimes.
Leo as a bully hits close to home for me. I can tell you write from experience with siblings. I'm the oldest and I was a bully, and the second-eldest in my family went through alternating phases of worshiping me and hating me, just as you have Raph doing here towards Leo. I imagine that's exactly how it went for those two growing up.
Yup, this is definitely some high-quality fan literature. Serious insight into the development of the little turtles personalities seems scarce round here, so I can't thank you enough for posting this.