Reviews for The Roaring Snake
atymer chapter 29 . 1/8/2012
Kudos to the author for a well thought out story. If Harry had gotten a reprieve in canon, where he had a moment to question and/or understand a tiny bit of his new world, what would have happened?

Here Harry makes mistakes, but after all he is eleven and so are his friends. Children are subject to the manipulation of the adults that surround them, oft times to their destruction.

Having the inclination to think about what is going on around him is a boon for Harry. I like how protective of his friends he has grown and also how he listens to everyone and considers. Blind panic and rage could have been his response to Dumpy and Snapes harassment and he could have turned to Voldy for assistance. Good thing he saw through all the adults in constant contact and retains a healthy suspicions of the others motives.

I will put this on my fav list. I enjoyed it very much.
Emeraldfireblade chapter 23 . 11/8/2011
first of all it's good to see the "old" harry back, and it's good to have an author who understands the needs for challenges and character growth.

I really like your take on Dumbledor as well, I'm honestly not sure if I woundn't mind Voldermort winning over your version, as they both seem to think the end justifies the means and I'm not sure who would be worse for the Wizarding World in the long run (say two generations from now).

Guardian of the Sacred Emerald Flames
frustrated lone author chapter 24 . 8/1/2011
i like this story... the complexity of the politics involved is endearing and the maturity of how harry handles his affairs is outstanding but what i don't like is the way dumbledore knows of everything in the castle... i think it is too much of a disadvantage when added to the implied listening charms that he was able to place outside the castle... especially in the homes of the dark pureblood families... you would think that they would have counter measures for such things... lastly the lack of short term tangible victories on harry's part is a bit disheartening but all in all the story certainly rates an 8 on a scale of ten...
Guest chapter 25 . 7/25/2011
barty crouch is or was a member of the ministry,the more languages he is able to speak the better off he is in that role,i wouldn't find it hard for anyone in a govermental role,wheather it be muggle or magical goverment not being able to at least speak three or 4 languages a days at least in the united states to train ambassadors they use a training technique called the rosetta stone.
Dragonanzar chapter 30 . 5/5/2011
Well, a very good story and a strong final line. I look forward to the sequel. Of course, several times I felt like strangling you for the tension and creating frustration because of knowing things without being able to effect them. I also felt like strangling Snape and Dumbledore; I'm sure you'll agree with the sentiment. It must have been fun writing all the manipulations. At last, I feel that Harry is starting to have an edge, mainly because he realises that Dumbledore is his enemy, not his friend. Despite this, he still has to battle against a character who has had years to build up his power base, whose word is equal to an unbreakable vow to many. I wish him luck.
Dragonanzar chapter 26 . 5/5/2011
The thing is that I think JKR took that music idea from the Greek myth where a hero (I think Orpheus) followed his dead love down to Hades' realm to plead for her life. He was a talented musician and he got past Cerberus, the guard to Hades, by playing music to make him sleep. He then played sad music in the underworld until Hades' felt some compassion and allowed him to take his love on the condition that he didn't look back to check who was following him until they both reached the mortal realm. Orpheus' paranoia was his undoing; he became convinced that it wasn't his love who was following him but something else. He looked back when he was in the land of the living, but his love was still at the mouth of the passage down to Hades. She was dragged back in and Orpheus cried. The version of the tale that I know had another goddess (I can't remember which one) taking pity on Orpheus and changing him into reeds. It is said that when the wind blows the water reeds whisper Orpheus' sorrow. A very cute tale, and perhaps one you already knew.
Dragonanzar chapter 17 . 5/5/2011
Very nice story. I like how you interweave everyone's motives together. When Dumbledore said 'I have a plan' in the last chapter, I felt my stomach sink. I was just wondering, though, about the French. Surely Narcissa would have replied 'comment vais-tu' instead of 'comment allez-vous' because she is speaking to a younger person who is also ostensibly part of her family. Vous seems a little too formal for the circumstances. That aside, I very much like your writing style; I keep coming across words which I do not quite understand, so it's a good learning experience!
cp90 chapter 6 . 1/30/2011
harry seeem vary Lelouch like... that is graet
Hivedragon chapter 29 . 1/27/2011
Good story loved it.
Marz1 chapter 1 . 1/25/2011
Good start. It will probably be5 a real challenge to keep track of all your characters plots and counter plots. I feel like I might need cliff's notes. Good stuff.
zArkham chapter 29 . 12/31/2010
First the good news: I like this fic.

The only Bad News is something fics of this nature always seem to have: these kids are not coming across as 11yos. These kids could be 16 or 19.

Sadly, there is not a lot one can do about it.

I do, however, like the fact that your fic gives a lot of reasons why ex-DE's might not be happy w/Voldy's return. In my own fic Rejected Path I have Lucius practically running the magical world due to Narcissa's plots. He, however, is too stupid to realize it and is too cowardly to go against the Dark Lord to do anything about it.

I mean sure Voldy's name is still feared a decade later but who was practically running Magical England and who was a shade. It reminds me of the seen when #2 tells Dr. Evil why try to rule the world when you can quietly buy it and run it secretly?
MasterBrattan chapter 4 . 11/28/2010
Tonks is Head Girl! i thought she was unable to behave herself.
anon chapter 6 . 11/24/2010
He had been diligent about the task suggested by Prof. McGonagall – paying attention to the culture and decorum of the wizarding world, and in the last week, he had read a bit of the basic propriety expected of him on various occasions. Of course, he was still a very long way from affecting the unflappable calm that seemed to flow so easily from a Daphne Greengrass, or the simple courtesy of a Susan Bones, far less the sophisticated charm of a Narcissa Malfoy.

-

I got a little laugh when I noticed he was modelling himself after girls and women. Now that is one smart boy. lol
AlbusxSeverusxox chapter 8 . 11/3/2010
The way you portrayed Harry does not, to me, correspond with Hufflepuff. If anything, Harry should have been sorted into either Slytherin or Ravenclaw with his lack of love for muggles and mudbloods (which his House is currently swarmed with), his need for knowledge and obvious intelligence.

I know I shouldn't play on stereotypes but that's pretty much the way JK set the Houses up:

Slytherin is for the ambitious, cunning and usually misunderstood who value House unity and continue to stay strong for one another.

Gryffindor is for the bold and, dare I say, the brash who tend to pick each other apart from time to time when there are disagreements (usually concerning Harry). But all in all, they're just a rowdy group of mildly rebellious teens who tend to blow things out of proportion more often than not.

Ravenclaw is also for the ambitious but they tend to use less cunning and overall more common sense and brainpower to accomplish their tasks. Even Luna has a deeper intelligence which tends to shine through when the time is right. Most will take fact over fiction any day. (Why Hermione wasn't sorted into this House, I cannot say. But it wouldn't be the first time JK slipped up *coughcough* EPILOGUE! *coughcough*)

Hufflepuff...loyal, a bit withdrawn, tend to socialize with their own House more than anything else, and are generally put down by every other House for being the 'leftovers', so to speak.

I know I'm being a bit crude but, really, Hufflepuff is the LEAST likely House to match your Harry's description. I know that you must think that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill because Houses don't limit potential - but that's not true. And what's worse is that I can see what you're doing: attempting to shed some light over the often overlooked House. But it just isn't right; I'm sorry but that's just what I think.

Do me a favour; don't try to contradict me? I'm not afraid of my single opinion being challenged or anything, it's just that I don't care. I was frustrated by the fact that this seemed to be a promising story but it was ruined for me; so I needed an outlet. To be honest, I don't care anymore so don't send me an equally long message telling me how I'm 'wrong' or 'stupid' or 'too judgmental' - the effort would be wasted.
F.Wizard chapter 9 . 9/15/2010
I really like this story, and I think you have a much better grasp on characterization and plot than many other authors. However, your word choices are TERRIBLE. 'Ejaculated', for example, is used to refer to male orgasms almost exclusively. Exclaimed or blurted are words used to refer to someone making a sudden contribution to a conversation. This is only one of many examples in this story. There are some things you can do to help with this:

1) If you're a native English speaker, try reading the chapter aloud. If you feel funny using the word when speaking, it probably shouldn't be in the story. This will also help with comma placement and the semi-frequent grammar issues.

2) If English is not your first language, find a native English speaker to beta the story. Don't rely on dictionary definitions of words, because while those are useful they won't give you the connotations of the words or directions on it's typical uses, just on what the word directly means.

I hope you update this story with better word choices and grammar fixes to make it even better than it is.
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