Reviews for Native Legend
Diapers chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
SQUIDDIE!

Hoho you write nice stories too, I don't watch Matrix but yeah I kinda get the idea :D

Loves
Zion Angel chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
Hi there. Sorry I took so long to turn out a review.

Well, this certainly qualifies as one of the most unique fics I've ever come across. I guess just by the very nature of the time that all takes place in, people just kind of assume that everybody lived in big cities with all their high-tech stuff. I like how it reads kind of like some old village elder telling a story. Reminds me of a story I read in class once... can't for the life of me remember the name...

Anywho, I like. :) Thanks for participating in our little challenge! (Only three fics, but three good fics! Promise you'll also do the next challenge!)

:) ZA
Silver-Ashes chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
Lovely work, RA - you're doing the TLG-Wachowski-sisterhood proud ;)

I liked the pacing and the story arc - everything fit together very nicely at the end, and your character was certainly from a different background to any Matrix OC fic I've read before. In terms of any constructive crit, I'd say that you might want to get some beta-ing in future just to pick up any of issues with word flow and sentence structure. There were a couple of sentences that seemed jumpy or just didn't quite read correctly to me - but given that this *is* a (somewhat rushed) challenge piece I'm sure you can be forgiven. :D
Amaratta too lazy to login chapter 1 . 8/14/2007
I see you've made improvement with that "paragraph things." It didn't work for early paragraph(s), but you managed to get it done in the later part (some paragraphs might be a bit too long, though.)

I have no idea what this Challenge is, not having joined any community, so you might want to give a little more details of this Challenge for readers who might also be in oblivion like me.

Anyway, narration is your strength. The forest part could be a little more thrilling. Title aren't so bad, but summary could be a little better. Okay...that's about it, I guess.