|Reviews for sasuke walks sakura home|
| cast14 chapter 2 . 5/18/2008
great story i loved it
| Kiana Shames chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
you might want edit it.
you know, spell check, the grammer here and there, and make it so it's a little easier to read.
other then those 3 things, it's great. very fluffy, and cute!
| Shanny365 chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
It was a good plot, but with a few grammer and spelling fixing ups, it would be perfect!
| Sakura Haruno 998 chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
I really liked this story!
| cast14 chapter 1 . 12/16/2007
aww... so cute lol great story i loved it i hope you will write other stories like this one it will be great this story was very interesting
| youradork101 chapter 1 . 12/3/2007
aw that was cute
im not a very big fan of the couple
but ur fic made me a little
ill be sure to read another
| uchihasakura285 chapter 1 . 9/10/2007
im just going to say a few things...
i luv the meaning of the story. so dont get me wrong on the things im going to say.
first of all; plz don't be mad at me, but i dont think you put much effort into writing this story. it could be much better. when writing a story, you want to make it your best for your readers. so if it takes you a while to update a chapter story, so be it. you want your story to be at its best, than getting the chapters in quicker and not at its best it can be.
second, put more detail in your story, so you know exactly what theyre doing so your readers can have a mental image of what exactly is going on.
third, instead of writing like this:
Sasuke: Sakura...? put something more like this to add detail:
"Sakura...?" Sasuke asked the girl with a questionable look.
try something like that. and put quotation marks before and after what they are saying.
fourth, check your spelling. you need to go over each chapter as you write and check for any spelling mistakes. you dont want your readers to see your spelling mistakes. and remember to add apostrophes. ' those. like you have a lot of words that need apostrophes like, won't. also, don't try to crame everything into one sentence. here is something that could be fixed:
"Team 7 just got done with training for the day so kakashi left to read his fav book in naruto went to go eat ramen with hinata(they been dating of a year now thanks to sakura)" Those are the exact words you used. try something like this:
Team 7 just got done wih training for the day, so Kakashi left to read his favorite book. Naruto went to go eat ramen with Hinata. (They have been dating about a year now, thanks to Sakura.)
fifth, don't get so right to the point. Make sure there is a nice beginning and also a nice ending. it's not really interesting if you don't have a lot of other stuff in your story. it will be pretty boring if everything in the story mattered. and did Sasuke leave for sound already and return? you did not point that out and could confuse a lot of people. Make sure to capitalize there names. Names are proper and need to be capitalized. also, remember periods or any other things to show that they sentence has ended.
These things are all very important to writing a good story. i'm sorry if i sounded a little bossy, but i just wanted to help you get better. i didn't do all of these things when i first started, but i got better as i went along. i hope you take these things into consideration, because i believe that with all of these things, you could become a really great writer. otherwise, i luv the meaning, maybe you should try and redu this story. it would be really great and have a lot more reviews. it would defiantly be in my favorites. if u do, plz tell me. i would love to see your improvement and everything you did to make the story your best. this was just a little help from a fellow reader! plz read all of my stories and see what i mean. the earlier stories arent the best, so read at least most of my stories and see how i have improved with reviews from other people telling me how to improve. you can see how after time i got better. i hope these work and you do the best you can! now, i have to update one of my stories. 'I Did What!' to be exact.
P.S. My name is Ashlee
| animeluver7 chapter 1 . 9/9/2007
I hate to say this but you're not a good writer. I like the story that's not it (tho it's a little short), but what I mean is that you need to work on your spelling. Are you english or from another country? coz if you're from another country then I can understand.
Please don't hate me.
| heyreese chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
it was okay. it all happened too fast. i suggest putting a liitle bit more into it, because it was a tad bit too short. trust me i know. that happened to me at a test. made my life hell.(my parents got real mad at me)
| Beyond open waters chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
that was short and sweet ]