Reviews for Swimming Pool
dancing elf chapter 1 . 6/18/2011
nice work
SweetLoveCries chapter 1 . 11/19/2008
I LOVE THIS STORY! And I adore SetoJoey pairing! And I adore your style of writig and... *out of breath*

this is one amazing story! XD Keep up good work!
Daydreamer-Of-The-Unknown chapter 1 . 8/4/2008
I think it was pretteh gd

i was just confused alot

x kisara x
miella allstar chapter 1 . 12/13/2007
its so cute i love seto and joey ther adorable together youre a good writter. keep wrtting fanfics hehe. :)

peace out for now

from

miella allstar
Girlof1000NickNames chapter 1 . 12/1/2007
This was interesting. I thought it was good but could have used a few more chapters in the middle somewhere. It felt kind of incomplete-ish.

~Grace
casaragi chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
yea the ending was a little fast but still it was a great story , i just love every single second of it
Sakurascorpion19 chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
Good work. I really liked this! Mokuba was a bit evil to his brother...he was so adorable though...hehe. Great Job!
dragonlady222 chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
Cute story. I'm glad Mokuba didn't drown and Kaiba realised something important.
HARPG0 chapter 1 . 8/17/2007
This was another fun and engaging story by Daybreaksage. The short story has some wonderful strengths: dialogue, plot, and falling action. I really liked the line “Mokuba’s cries in the background kept him from pulling back in hesitation as he leaned over Jounouchi’s face.” The description was vivid and moved the plot along.

I would suggest reworking a few of the sentences near the end of the piece to make them cleaner and less awkward. For example: “The pace in the brunette’s legs never ceased…” Making the minor changes would also give the entire piece a unified voice.

Still, it was an excellent job, and I am looking forward to your next piece of writing-

Good luck!

Sincerely,

HARPGOS
Tomboy 601 chapter 1 . 8/17/2007
Aww. Jounouchi/Kaiba fluff. I thought you were gonna kill off Mokuba for a while! 0.0 Good story! _

TB601