|Reviews for Little Estel|
| AndurilofTolkien chapter 1 . 5/22
| Robert Floyd chapter 1 . 10/22/2013
I do enjoy your writing and this is truly a great story; however, it does not tie into your other great story of Aragorn and Arwen. Your first chapter of that story tells of Arwen not seeing Aragorn, like he was a stranger to her, and Aragorn saying "maybe you chose not to see me".
| Kory-Ellis chapter 1 . 8/7/2011
I love your story. Usually for me everything must be just like the book, but I loved how you showed Aragon as a child. Great righting, awesome job!
| User25214 chapter 1 . 6/14/2011
I would love to see you continue this. So please update soon :)
| Queen Su chapter 1 . 5/28/2009
This is really good! The description is nice! I enjoyed reading this a lot! Awesome work!
In Aslan's Name,
Queen Susan the Gentle
PS I did spot a few typos though.
| IB.Wicked chapter 1 . 6/24/2008
this was so cute! I wish you would continue writting it! You should add the other encounters between aragorn and arwen
| baby green eyes chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
OH, this story was really good!
Is it gonna be a oneshot (not really) or a full-fledged story?
Anyway, it was really awesome. I like when he was a baby, was really cute. "PRETTY!" Aww!
But one tiny WEE mistake-ish thing:
["Our Estel is skilled…he will return", Lord Elrond insisted.]
Yeah, I think the comma has to be IN the quotation marks, lol!
Dont worry, I do it all the time too.
Anyways, aside from that almost non-existent mistake, it was REALLY good! I like how you kinda stuck with the canon, aka Aragorn going to Shire, but how you mixed fiction with it too, like how Arwen was there when he was a baby, because they met when he was 20.
Keep up the excellent work, chica!
| eiluj chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
You've called this "AU;" it seems mostly movie-verse. I see no evidence you’ve read the books. Now, there's nothing that says you can't write AU if you want to, but when you ignore Tolkien's story, you end up with some problems.
Even the movies (T extended edition) give Aragorn's correct age (he's 87 at this point). When he escorted the hobbits to Rivendell, he'd known who he was for nearly 70 years. He wasn't just some young kid without experience or knowledge of the world: he was an accomplished fighter (probably the best among mortals in Middle-earth) and tracker (one of the very best in Middle-earth), and the leader of the Northern Dúnedain. He'd spent decades serving in the armed forces of Rohan and Gondor (under an alias), to build up his experience and his knowledge of the country he might someday rule. He'd tracked and caught Gollum and brought him to Mirkwood for safekeeping. He'd travelled secretly in Mordor (and come out alive!), and in the dangerous countries of the east and south that owed allegiance to Sauron. He'd had experiences that left him able to withstand the Ringwraiths' evil aura and escape encounters with them. He'd made a harrowing trip inside Moria, won the favor of the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien, and was Gandalf's trusted confidant and agent.
In Tolkien's story, Aragorn had never seen Arwen until she returned to Imladris on the day Elrond told him of his true identity. Aragorn and Arwen met without knowing each other's identity. On Aragorn's part at least, it was love at first sight. He didn't grow up thinking she was his sister and then one day decide he loved her.
Just as Aragorn is considerably more mature than you're allowing him to be, so is Arwen. You do her a disservice in your portrayal. She's nearly 3,0 years old, with the wisdom to be expected from the daughter and grand-daughter of the three wisest elves in Middle-earth. She's seen Aragorn go into danger uncounted times, and *isn't* about to lose her cool this time. She didn't fall in love with him for his adolescent human good looks - which wouldn’t impress an immortal elf anyway! She didn't suddenly decide to give up her immortality and all contact with her family (forever) on a whim; it was a decision she reached only after seeing Aragorn as a mature and accomplished leader of men - some 30 years after first meeting him.
"'Word has reached my ears that the Ringwraiths ride to the Shire in great haste. The hobbit makes for Bree but all is not well, I believe…not at the Prancing Pony Inn leastways. The Ranger shall go, he leaves Rivendell at dawn.'”
On their route to the Shire, the Ringwraiths never came within 300 miles of Imladris, and it’s a very sparsely populated part of the world. It's unlikely Elrond had any news of their journey on the way to the Shire.
Your Elrond says the hobbits are on their way to Bree, so we know it's at least Sept. 23, as Frodo left Bag End that evening. But Elrond says the hobbits haven't yet arrived in Bree, so we know it's still *before* Sept. 29. Aragorn is still in Rivendell - won't leave till the next day. From Imladris, it’s at least 250 miles to Bree, and the hobbits only stay one night in Bree. Frankly, it’s impossible to get there in that time.
Of course, Elrond had no way of knowing which day Frodo left Bag End, or that Frodo was heading for Bree at all! All Elrond had known ahead of time was that Gandalf was supposed to escort Frodo out of the Shire - which should have happened weeks ago. Now if you did read the books and you point out that Gildor's messengers brought information to Elrond after seeing Frodo in the Shire, you've still got a problem, because your Elrond doesn't know the Nazgul rode through the Shire - and Gildor's people *did* know that and *would* have told him.
But if you're relying on Gildor's messengers to bring this info, there’s even less time. Gildor met Frodo after dark on Sept. 24. So in 5 days you’d have to have elves travelling from the Shire to Imladris (some 300 miles); then at least a day *after* their arrival in Imladris, Aragorn leaves, and Elrond expects him to travel 250 miles to Bree but still arrive during the 12 hours or so the hobbits spent there. Even with horses, and riding the horses to exhaustion, Gildor’s elves probably couldn’t have made the trip in 5 days; and even if they had, there wasn’t time enough for Aragorn to get to Bree the same evening the hobbits did.
Aragorn would have to have left Rivendell before Frodo left Bag End, or he'd have arrived in Bree several days after the hobbits did. By which point the Nazgul would long since have captured Frodo and the Ring.
You’re to be commended for trying to use Elvish in your story, but unfortunately most of your “Elvish” words aren't real Elvish. Perhaps you've found a site that deals in what is commonly called "Grey Company" Elvish or "Grelvish." That's not actual Sindarin (the language usually spoken by the elves of Imladris). It’s just something made up by people who don’t know what they’re doing.
There are apparently many sites with actual Sindarin phrases useful to fanfic writers; try searching Google. In the meantime, here's a free Sindarin dictionary you can download. If any site gives you words you don't find in this dictionary, they're not proper Sindarin, and the site isn’t trustworthy.
[Web addresses have to be disguised or ff deletes them. Make sure you begin with 3 w’s. Then replace each “.” with a period, and be sure to delete any spaces left in the address. Or simply Google "Hisweloke"]
[Tolkien’s other major elvish language is called Quenya. There are good Quenya dictionaries on the Net also, but that's the wrong language for your story (though Elrond and Arwen would have been fluent in Quenya as well as Sindarin). So please don't use Quenya. You also should *not* mix Quenya and Sindarin words.]
Lastly, if you care enough about the Middle-earth to write fanfic, why not read the books? Tolkien created a world with a rich and complex history, wonderful non-human races, and a story much deeper than the movies (and I say that as a major fan of the films). If you want to play in Tolkien’s world, you should at least know what his world is like. If you want to write Tolkien AU, you should at least know what the real story *is.* Your writing will be richer for knowing more of the story and the world.
| AliuIce0814 chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
This is really good. I especially like two-year-old Estel. Write more, please!
| USA chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
Great story! Keep it going! UPDATE!
Awesome, i loved it!