Reviews for a Damane's Tale
SuperiorShortness chapter 3 . 10/7/2008
I was ecstatic when i found a story about the damane mind frame. Then i was even more excited when i found out that it was a GREAT story. Please continue. A time frame would be nice though inside the Wheel Of Time.
Backwoods80 chapter 1 . 12/27/2007
Good story. I liked the way you didn't make the sul'dams evil (as is prevelent in most WOT stories, including mine). You also seem to be very good at bringing emotion into your story...well done.
Mask1 chapter 3 . 8/26/2007
Loved the Chapter title, nice use of alliteration.

Again just check over your WOT spellings... use the site I gave or the Guide or the books.

It seems such a small thing but every time I read 'hem' instead of 'him' it breaks my consentration on your story. Just take that extra time and read through. That way everyone will be able to truly enjoy your good ideas and interesting characters.

Still waiting to see who that girl was. I was caught by surprise to find this set obviously after quite some time has past since Knife of Dreams.

The story clearly shows at least one reason why Teakah sees resistance as worse than futile. Indeed it is little more than a route to suicide for her. Maybe Ruti will be able to teach her some things even as she teaches that young one to survive.

Keep writing and I'll try to concentrate more on the story and not get distracted by little things. It is the curse of being a teacher I am afraid.

Keep writing!

Mask
Mask1 chapter 2 . 8/26/2007
It seems this young 'girl' is very perceptive. I am intrigued that Teakah seems to be able to sit around and even clean up without anyone holding her leash. I used to be sure that damane could not move the a'dam at all when they were not complete... hm this could be interesting if there is an explanation to that.

Presumably Teakah will now tell Ruti her story.

Am I right in thinking Chapter 1 is set quite some time after the Prologue? Ruti seems to have changed a lot already.

Mask
Mask1 chapter 1 . 8/26/2007
First impressions.

I love stories of damane or seanchan. THey are a little different from your typical fanfic and I think a damane's psyche is an interesting place to be explored. So story idea excellent.

Take a care with minor spelling and grammer things your computer won't pick up. Eg writing 'she to' when you need to write 'she too' and using 'there charges' when you mean 'their charges'.

For all WOT needs try

Extreamly useful. One reason I mention it is it has the spellings for everything and I am yet to find an error on it. a'dam for example not ai'dam.

All that aside (I am attempting to be helpful not critical) spelling and grammer is nothing you have a good idea and good potential characters that seem to contrast enough to be interesting. I'll get to reading now.

Mask
viggen chapter 2 . 8/20/2007
I'm curious to see where you will go. You haven't really developed the story far enough yet to give a good idea of what you actually intend with it. I like the passive aggressive quality you've given to Ruti.

I'm a bit confused by the introduction of this young woman with a shaved head there at the end and the man accompanying her. You imply that she is important both in society and to the story, but you cut off with the encounter before you can characterize her. It would have helped me if you had filled out the encounter more.

Best thing you can do is keep writing. I'll be watching for more:)
viggen chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
Glad to help:)

So that you realize, I thought it was a charismatic start before, even with the little problems. This story has a great deal of potential.

If you have any questions about WOT world details as you write, or are trying to be certain that you have a detail properly written, it's pretty easy to find what you need by google. There are lots of WOT fans out there. There's also a WOT sourcebook that you might be able to find at a Barnes and Noble; when I'm writing WOT FF, I've found that book to be a terrific resource.

I hope you will keep writing this story; so many people give up after only writing a few chapters. I'm curious to see where you will take this one!