|Reviews for Night time|
| Ennu chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
I really dont know how old is this, but i want you to continue.
| A Lucky Stone chapter 1 . 9/17/2007
Firstly, you need to find yourself a decent beta reader who can sort out your spelling and grammar. It might be a good idea to change your formatting, too - blank lines between paragraphs and left-aligned would make it a lot easier to read.
Secondly, I don't quite understand some of the details - if Robert was cutting in the cathedral why is there no blood? If not, why doesn't he wake up? And do you think he would be in the cathedral in the first place - I mean, he's not the religious one. Why, when Georges finds him, does he not tell someone who'd be able to help? You at least need to explain that. And then, *why* does he go to *sleep*? I don't think many people would be able to sleep in that situation! And why does Robert confess his love for Georges in a note? It's *really* not his style!
Never mind that there'd probably be nuns around who'd find them, or the fact that Georges is kinda innocent and optimstic and might not know what the scars were from...
I like the concept, and Robert/Georges fic is always good to read, but this really, really needs work.
| XsleeplessX chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
WOW!Talk about a wake up call.I realy like it and hope that you update soon._
| Bee Bop chapter 1 . 8/20/2007
Well, first off, next time, add space between your paragraphs [and actually make some paragraphs]. With out space, it make the story hard to read and keep up with the lines.
Second, i would have personally maybe spread this out a little bit? Like, added a few more details here and there instead of putting the "point-blank" idea.
But, I think this is a good idea, just sort of confusing. Funny, I was actually thinking about making a story where one of the characters cut themselves. Maybe later, ne? But for your next chapter, try to consider my suggestions, and I wish good luck to you!
Update soon? ]
| Charlie's Channel chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
I like your plot, it's really good. Just the context is kind of confusing. But besides that good, oh and yes I'll be your beta.
| Flibber T. Gibbet chapter 1 . 8/18/2007