B

Yes all of the yes you need to come back to this and finish this I would love to see the ending of this fix you made I hope you come back to this soon.

For some reason there are a fair amount of words mashed together, was the space lost through some formatting error, or just sloppy writing?

"The thing you have to understand…no…that I think you do understand, Shinji" Kaji said emphatically, "is that we're only, at best, half civilized. This…thin veneer of civilization we share is the only imaginary line that keeps us from acting out our own darkest impulses. It allows our 'humanity' to resist justifying butchery."

My my, Kaiji has hidden depths, he is almost quoting Leviathan's loke.

So, I'd like to start this review off on a positive note by saying that I absolutely enjoyed this fic. I'm not one to read Evangelion fics (they tend to either be massive, angst ridden fetish fuel or filled eith enough character bashing to make Chuuni Exam Day look tame), but this one caught my interest, so I decided to give it a shot... And I'm glad I did.

The characterization here is not only spot in to canon, but actually improves upon it in many ways: Shinji is still Shinji, but he's also different, having learned and grown from the absolute HELL he was put through in the main timeline; Rei is very much that awkward, emotionally stunted girl who has just a hint of "inhuman" to her, but you've fleshed her out in such a way that shows she is not only still utterly human, but possibly more human than anyone else in the series; Asuka is her normal "Tsundere" self, but the torment that she went through that turned her into the fiery redhead we know shows, even when it isn't in HER POV. The way you've written these characters, even the minor ones, shows a very fine attention to detail that many writers lack, and for that you get a thumbs up in my book.

However, one of the things that... turned me off, so to speak, was your punctuation. Or, rather, the lack thereof. I know you said you didn't have a Beta for most of this and that gave you some conversion issues, but the sheer NUMBER of punctuation mistakes I just unacceptable. It is very, very jarring to be reading a sentence and then suddenly move into another, unrelated thought without any warning, and, while the strength if your characterization and interaction made up for enough to keep me engaged, it was still an issue. A big, distracting issue.

Thy being said, this is still a solidly written, if not exactly well edited, story, even unit isn't finished, and I very much enjoyed reading it. Overall, I'd give you a 7.5/10, with our characterization and character interaction making up the bulk of that- if you were to go through this and fix up the punctuation, you'd have gotten more, likely a 9 or so, but that is immaterial.

Thank you for the enjoyable read.

It's dead. May it rest in peace.

please update

Well, it's been a while since you've updated, but I hope that you didn't abandon the story. It's a GREAT piece of work, really. The way you have the characters playing off of one another, and the fact that you have them so well in character - honestly even Shinji, considering that he's been through Hell already, that usually gives you a bit of a spine.

Again, the story is great, and I hope you aren't throwing it out.

Keep Writing, Keep Rocking!
~Undeadmonkey8

No offense but this sounds like one of those crappy preludes to movies (spoken as morgan freeman) the following movie is rated R please ask your parents for the iages your about to see

Spectacular story! This is probably the best written fanfic I've seen on this website! :D
Words can not describe how eloquent your writing is, and I only hope that you will continue this wonderful fic!

Where the fuck os the update

Enjoyed the story to a great degree. Thank you for that, Crazy-88!

The day you will continue this will be a grand one indeed.

Oh how I -wish- you'd finish this.

I was hesitant at first but yep, definitely favoriting this.

I really love this story! Great detail and characterization! Any chance that you'll continue this story someday?