Reviews for Once More with Feeling |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, happy birthday. I have no idea when this chapter was posted though... Still hoping you're reading this, see? -THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW- -the primary thereat humanity - it's 'threat': "primary threat" -laugh it up Forth CHild - it's 'fourth' or 4th: "laugh it up Fourth CHild" -I never really brought into it - in this case, by context I think it's bought, as in buy in: "really bought into it" -my far superior abilities". - the period should be inside the quote: superior abilities." -That's all. Hope you're reading me. New UN exposition? And from the government too, huh? Along wih a bunch of politics. Still awesome world building... Oh boy we're about to see Kaji aren't we? Yup, there is Kaji and he just told everything to a japanese major general. Oh boy... Shinji debriefed ASAP sounds like a smart idea. Ah, the firestorm that is Asuka. Very nice descriptions. Even the aproach of Rei was believable. The fact she would want a female friend was totally on spot for all that has happened here. That battle was freaking AWESOME! Very nice, and Shinji did it without putting Asuka in her place. Too bad Ritsuko is now even more suspicious of him. This intereaction between Shinji and Asuka is just so GOLDEN! I laughed at how they went back to school by helicopter. And the talk with Rei seemed genuine too. Ah the tact of Asuka seeing Rei's home for the first time. Awesome. I'm loving how you write Asuka. Of course she wont admit how SHinji gives her butterflies. Looking forward for more because it seems Kaji and Shinji are finally going to talk but mostly it's because I want this to be ressurected. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'd still like to see this story updated once again. It was one of my favorites before it was abandoned. |
![]() ![]() serine - serene |
![]() ![]() ![]() Naoko being the soul in unit 00 doesn't really make sense. Just google "Theory and Analysis:Eva-00's Soul" the first link provides a pretty good explanation of why it's Rei 1 and not Naoko. Other than that it was a good chapter. |
![]() ![]() One of the best written stories in this entire fandom. Bravo. Even the weaker chapters still hold my interest. It's just too bad it hasn't been updated in three years. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ah, the red demon comes... -THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW- -kept the pleasant amiable expression - forgot the 'c': "the pleasant amicable expression" -want to stoke her long silky - forgot the 'r': "to stroke her long silky" -show somefuckingrespect. - Ugh, Shinji doesn't curse unless things are horrible and forgot the spaces: "Show some damn respect." -utterly fearless of her wraith - it's 'wrath': "fearless of her wrath" -she let got as they arrived - it's let 'go': "she let go as they" -the only difference Asuka said", - quotation on the wrong place: the only difference," Asuka said -time to fine somewhere to change - it's 'dind': "time to find somewhere" -that's all. Kensuke geeking out and Toji not all horny because of Hikari. What a surprise... Smooth transition into flashback mode from the plane towards the Over the Rainbow there. Oh, Hey, Chihiro's dad! And he has told an interesting cute story of how Asuka and Shinji actually met LOL! Don't apreciate how much Yui was build up though. She was a devil disguised as an Angel. And yes I know that's debatable but I'm not fond of her, especially because she pretty much killed herself in front of her child. Still a good build of both her and Mister Tanaka. The in-world building of this is still amazing. Hmmm, I'm thinking Fuyutsuki will be another one who will suspect Shinji is more than just very clever... And now Shinji has a pilot jacket. Nice, kind of like a pilot of a jet fighter or something. Pretty cool! Back to the present, the teens and Misato arriving at the Over The Rainbow was pretty sweet too. Ah, what a lovely reencounter with Asuka. Loved the recreation of the moment. I don't think Shinji would have stopped Toji from downing his trousers though. Snarky admiral making Shinji focus even more on Asuka? Sure why not. He has missed her a lot. The whole 'wanting to hug her crying and apologizing for everything' is very plausible. And, holy shit it actually gave him strength to back talk the admiral. Although I don't think shinji would curse like that. He curses only when things are VERY bad. Ah, Yes, Kaji. Let's see how this 'reencounter' goes. Lol it went perfectly. Haha. Even Shinji's attempts to make Asuka glare at him less were priceless. Ominous description of Ghaghiel awakening is ominous. Oh... Oh holy crap, SHinji just told Kaji everything didn't he? They were gone for an hour and Kaji even checked for Misato's necklace and... yup there it is. Very interesting indeed, Kaji. This interaction between Asuka and Shinji is priceless. Even they walking (Asuka changing) and then fighting togheter. Nice description of the tax payer's money being wasted. No Misato, he is not after Unit 02... The fight was pretty good too. Very apt descriptions. including the, Ahem, Gendo in a one piece... Shinji faltering because of Asuka's memory too for that matter. Amazing how SHinji can read Asuka like an open book... Ritsuko is once again suspicious of Shinji... Spy Kaji is spying a necklace from the future... Awesome chapter! Christ I hope this is ressurected one day... |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a brilliant story, and I very much hope that it gets continued one day. Well done! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ah, rating gone down eh? I suppose we wouldn't be seeing anything too drastic if you did continue with this then? That's a little disapointing. I like the mature stuff. I would also like for this to continue. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh boy, the laser beam Angel. Let's see how Shinji handles that one, because even with his extra knowledge I still think he'll fry. -THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW- -then he smile dropped - Um, I think you meant "then the smile dropped" -she's always steeling looks at you - Hikari 'steals' looks at Toji: "always stealing looks" -feared the wraith of Hikari - it's 'wrath', as in rage: "the wrath of Hikari" -stepping back fro the console - forgot the 'm': "back from the console" -Ritisko - It's "Ritsuko" -come one - I thonk you meant "come on" -That's all. Not many mispelled names this time either. Post Angel in world building is awesome. The in world building in this is generlly awesome. ? A school dance? That wasn't even mentioned in the show... Oh god, you're doing something big with this aren't you? Considering how you build the in-world here... Hm, principal Shinzo Suzuya, huh? Okay Shinji is definetely trying to put this dance back on. And he got it fairly easily. He's going to the vice commander with the insurence thing isn't he? Yup, there it is already phoning him. Aha! Dance back on! And Shinji getting on with the second hottest girl in class, LOL! Of course Ken and Toji would call him a traitor. Ahh, Rei getting the feels is so wonderful! Hahaha, 'satisfaction'! Man, this Chihiro chick is persistent! Haha, poor Hikari. Good thing Shinji made a pretty nice save. 'Shinji the ladies man', who would have thought. Go and reject Chihiro but good, Shin-man... or run away with the help of Rei, Toji and Kensuke, that works too... ? 2010AD? Oh boy... Poor Naoko. So stupid. Killing herself over nothing, over her own stupidity... I don't think I've ever seen this scene from the Anime in text form. Ah, so it is Naoko who is inside Unit 00... I've seen that interpretation before but I don't care for it... Unit 00 would be a lot more upset with Rei if it was Naoko. Oh well... Back to 2015 we see Rei was having a long flash back that resulted in a nice ponient sliver of doubt about her commander. Awesome! Oh boy... Rei is gonna get torched isn't she? Yup there it is. Good thing hero Shinji was right there. Holy crap Shinji is a lot more furious than I first thought. "Turn the JSDF into past"? Wow! Good thing he contained himself and his memories. Also shared a very nice moment with Rei. Although I think it's kind of early for her to be making spontaneous jokes. Ah, techno bable explaining the energy output stuff, energy of the whole country into one weapon! I'll say it again, the world building in this is awesome. So was the rewrite of the battle. Oh boy Ritsuko is gonna get suspicious of Shinji's knowledge isn't she? Very good Chapter. Onward to the still probably dead fic... |
![]() ![]() ![]() BOOM, new chapter! Well, for me it is at least. I stopped reading this story on the previous one back when I found this story because I realized it was probably dead... Good lord, how I hope this story isn't dead... ...Anyway: -THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW- -Aboa - Is typing names wrong a thing in this fic? It's "Aoba". -I thought you were smarter that - forgot the 'than':"you were smarter than that" -Look, your right. - In this case it's 'you're': "Look, you're right." -That's all. No Mistao this time and it's less than the others. Pretty good. Ah, the beauty of Shinji anticipating an Angel... And figuring out Ayanami... And over all doing things once more, with feeling. (See what I did there?) That is a perfect brother-sister dynamic in my opinion. Outstanding dialogue between Rei and Shinji right there. And a regular pilot sees the Angel that bleeped the radars. Nice in-world viewing, something I haven't seen a lot of: normal people reacting to the Angel! Shinji from the future with pre batle jitters? Hmmm, I guess it's plausible. This one WAS a prety close call last time. And Shinji even makes me laugh with a high fiber diet jab. Nice. Nice new tactics too, even if he didn't anticipate tentacle regeneration. Rei clenching her fists... I wanna say it's early for such a display but you've built her character well. It's not like she's in love already. The in-world building of this is amazing! LOL! Fried squid hahaha! Oh Kensuke got some footage and didn't almost die, he just got a talking from Toji, and then from the class Rep and Toji's sister. Nice! Ah, Shinji making jokes about work just like Misato. Hehe, 'clinically dead'. What the hell? What's with the hero worship of Shinji? Oh, Kensuke babbled, showing the footage he had. Nice! Once again, the world building in this is awesome! Ah, Rei thinking of Shinji. And Gendo being a bastard. Nice way to end the chapter. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Me again. I want this to be back so badly... this is the last chapter I read when I found this by the way. I stoped reading here when I realizd this was probabl dead, so from the next chapter on out it's uncharted terrain. -THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW- -"long into the night" After this line it switches from Rei's point of view to Misato's. A line under it would be nice. -Mistao - UGH! AGAIN! It's "Misato"! This baby shows up 3 times -on a women - singular is 'woman': "on a woman" -I sware, I sware! - I think you meant 'swear': "I swear, I swear!" -That is all. Good work. See the almighty Angel and its adversary in a VR envirowment, every one! Very nice virtual battle. Rei and Shinji's orchestration of the silence was awesome! Ah! Classic Misato deconstructed beautifully by time traveller Shinji. Nice that he still thinks of Asuka. Her voice in his head made me laugh in the first read. Sky fall is taller than an Eva? That seems unlikely... just as it's unlikely that Nerv people can afford a 5 star bar. Maybe they get employee discount? Still a nice description of the place where Misato and Ritsuko talk about all the secrecy stuff. Of course Ritsuko lied about this. Nice that she feels guilty though. Yes, that weight does suck Misato. "SHinji didn't know if he should be pleased or disapointed his father ignored him" Perfect. Rei and Shinji talking. Shinji is being an extremely proficient time traveller. I guess the fact everyone he talks to are damaged goods helps in that regard. Convincing Rei she is unique is something that takes time and effort and he did it in one talk? Ah back at school eh Shinji? Toji pointing and shouting is always fun. And of course he was thankful instead of trowing punches. Very nice. Let's see the first chapter I didn't read next, then the rest of the story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Here's another detailed review, here's to still hoping this will return someday. -THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW- -He wasn't however, entirely correct - After this sentence, it switches to Ritsuko's Point Of View's and there is no line after it, as you usually place to indicate POV switch. -Askua - Again you are writting that instead of Asuka... -The escalator appeared to reach to infinity - After this sentence it switches back to Shinji's POV but it again has no line of separation. -towards the Western edge of Tokyo 3 - after this sentence it switches to Rei's POV but there's no line of separation again. -She was going to find out about this Third child... - Rei's POV end here and yet again there's no line of separation. -That probably meant- - Again, no line of separation after Shinji's POV ended and Misato's started. -Mistao - Again you are writting that instead of Misato... -"Let's get going." - I have a feeling you didn't put ANY lines that separate points of view in this chapter... there should be another after this line from Misato. -another thing off about this chapter is the way the lines in some of the paragraphs are set. I don't know why they're like that. I'm glad it looks like they are like that just in this chapter. -That's all. A lot of stuff in this chapter... Hmm, Shinji dealing with his sanity and with the fact that he came back in time is VERY well done... have I mentioned it sucks this story looks dead? Of course Ritsuko is suspicious. I'm calling her as one of the first to find out Shinji time travelled. Smart thing with the Ludwig, Johann and Richard for the other MAGI in German. Shinji and his pondering as a time traveller... I love the work this has in world building. Rei's building through her point of view was is also pretty sweet. Shinji hiding the necklace in his mother's grave and breaking down in front of it makes sense, but what doesn't make sense was Lilith appearing to him again... kind of pulled me out of the whole moment. What should have happened was just him having a good cry and then, after it was all out of his system(all the while having the flash back of Kaworu), man up(still in flashback mode) and go... maybe it wouldn't be as flushed out as in this, but Lilith appearing stil felt off. Movement to find Shinji, of course. Ah, den mother Misato, how adorable. Even as she deals with the heavier stuff. Lol at Maya calling Aoba and Makoto perverts. Ah, shinji drops a little hint he knows about his mother. Of course Misato won't pick up but, nice! Seele talking and Gendo sneering is also pretty good. Love the world building atop of canon this has. Haha, Shinji standing up to his father and handling the situation to his favor was priceless! Kudos! Just like the whole "that wasn't envy" and Misatos welcome home meal bits were also hilarious. |
![]() ![]() ![]() -THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW- -Shinji shouting "GO" should have been in a different line that of Misato saying "Sorry Im late". -Mistao dead - it's Misato: "Misato dead" -"I'll try to behave myself before - forgot a quotation mark and coma here: "Ill try to behave myself," before -"Ah, Mistao is fine" - it's Misato: "Misato is fine". This mistake repeats itself several times, a LOT of times throughout the chapter... -Askua - I think you meant "Asuka"... this one appears twice. -Can you please see that gets back to the hospital - Shinji is talking about Rei, you forgot a "she" here: "Can you please see that she gets back to" -That's all. That is an awesome comeback for Shinji, from the inception of his surroundings to his talking to Rei/Lilith. Kudos. Nice intro of Sachiel. Chapter named after him is a nice touch too. Thankfully in later chapters you stopped doing this "name of a song underlined" in the middle of the chapter. Reading medium and all that. Shinji missed Misato like crazy, huh? Nice to see the different take on this encounter. And the encounters of his father and rits too. Nice how he noticed his father was surprised that he 'remembered' how his mother died. Um, I think the uncle taking care of Shinji was the brother of Yui, not Gendo's... but whatever, doesn't really matter, really. Recreation of the first battle with rights of Shinji having a flashback and then actually sparing Toji's sister for the win! Indeed this has only just began Shinji. Let's hope it continues. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This prologue is perfect. I think I would add a motive of some sort for Shinji to say 'go bak in time' or for Lilith to interpret that as 'throw him back in time', but other than that there isn't even any spelling or grammar errors that I could see so I'm not even going to spoil anything in this review. |
![]() ![]() Go to sufficient velocity, that's where you'll find the updated version |