|Reviews for Torch and Hothead|
| SoNtUrAngel chapter 22 . 5/24/2011
Too cute...write more
| Amber-Jade James chapter 22 . 11/5/2007
Glad to see an update :)
| Siryn Tigress chapter 22 . 11/5/2007
Great chapter! love the end part! _ that was great! Warren protected her from the spring roll sauce!
Can't wait for the next chapter! I'll be watching from the shadows.
| Ryutana chapter 21 . 9/29/2007
This is an extremely good story, and I am very much loving it! Please update soon, because I am wondering what happens next!
| Winter Queens chapter 4 . 9/28/2007
We have a word for Dannie-Lynn where I am from.
She may insist that she is not a slut just because she sleeps with a different guy every few nights but what, exactly, does that make her?
Even if she doesn't like attachments, you would at least think she had enough self respect not to jump everything with two legs.
And the description of her costume a chapter or so ago? You don't want to know my opinion on that.
Must be useful in a fight, though. Her opponent would be too busy wondering if a hooker got the wrong address to concentrate on the fight.
By the way, Sue and Reed adapted the costumes so that they worked with their powers. (Invisible girl's costume disappears when she does, the Human Torch's is resistant to his fire etc) Explain to me why they didn't do the same for Mary-Sue here. You claim that they made her one and she 'fixed it' into something that would get you arrested for public indecency, but that doesn't explain why they still let her wear it.
Or did Mary-Sue refuse because she knew they would come up with something more like a superhero and less like a streetwalker?
By the way, being born differently doesn't mean that you are immune from taking responsibility for your actions. The fact that our little sister didn't mean to ruin my favorite (and most expensive) clothing doesn't change the fact that it is now shredded beyond recognition.
And why does she get to walk away from the police just because she is Johnny Storm's daughter? If there is an incident, you are at least required to give a statement, if not come down to the station.
The Fantastic 4 are very high profile, Johnny's playboy reputation aside. Even if they weren't caring and responsibe parents, I don't see them approving of her actions or her choice of friends. Sex, drugs, drink etc? And she wonders why her dad won't let her go alone.
Also, you did see what the girls were wearing to homecoming and during class, right? Decent, appropriate cover, etc? Layla may have had a low backline at homecoming, but the rest of her gown was a lot like a greek chiton. Magenta didn't go far from her usual look, but she certainly was a lot more covered than what you have her wearing.
I find it hysterical that Mary-Sue is the most decently dressed of the lot, especially when she put up such a fuss about it earlier.
Also, there is nothing wrong with being shy. If you think someone is worth plucking up the courage then great. If you don't, there is still no need to mock.
If you sneak out of a party, tell someone where you are going or at least leave a note. You may not like attending, but that doesn't mean you should sent whoever you came with into a panic by disappearing into thin air while they aren't looking.
I thought that I wuldgive this story one last shot, going with your insistence that it got better, but I found myslf very disappointed at the waste of time. I will not be reading this anymore and will strongly discourage friends from doing so either.
| Winter Queens chapter 3 . 9/28/2007
I read your response to my sister's review, and as you insist on acting like a petulent child and banning her so that she can't elaborate on her reasons for an honest review (you don't want to see her flames. Be glad you weren't on the recieving end) I decided to point out a few things on both of our behalf.
You say that it is called Fan Fiction for a reason, so you can do whatever you want. To quote Camilla Sandman: "that's right, FAN. If you wrote FANfiction, you would care enough to get it right."
I'm not the best writer around, but I at least make an effort to keep things in character, and nag my beta into going over it. By the way, there are at least 4 grammar and spelling mistakes in your review response alone.
Rise and fall may be a writing style, but you aren't doing very well with it. Stick with the basic Beginning, Middle Events and End style.
Incidentally, don't call my sister a brainless twin. It only made her laugh and to be perfectly correct, I'm the one diagnosed with a mental disorder.
Alright, it is attraction. That doesn't change the fact that Warren's reaction is OOC, and shows no signs of coming back. He is not a touchy-feely nice kind of guy. He initially took Layla to homecoming as a way to piss Will off, for god's sake! If you want to differ from the original characterization, fine, but keep it at least close and give us a proper reason for the change.
We took your advice and read further, but we are sad to say that our first impression didn't change. Actually, we couldn't make it past this chapter.
We are given the impression that Layla was the first to reach out to Warren, and he at least tolerates her, if not counts her as an actual friend. Therefore, he would never call Layla a hippie. In fact, the closest anyone came to calling her that was Penny during her fight with Layla at homecoming, and Sonic Boom during Power Placement when he called her a flowerchild.
It's nice that you elaborated on why the OC's are there and what happened to Dannie-Lynn's mum, but you still didn't address some of the other issues.
Ben and the Richards try to restrain Johnny from various immature stunts/pranks. Why would they not do the same to his daughter who his going above and beyond any of Johnny's stunts?
If I was any kind of guardian and caught someone under my care coming in at the early (or not so early) hours of the morning after a night of drinking and sex (it's "booze" BTY) then I would come up with some kind of punishment no matter what her reasons were! I see no reason why the Fantastic 4 refuse to do the same. "My roof, my rules" kind of thing.
And why are they training/showing off powers on the roof of a who knows how many stories building? I'm sure they have some sort of room for that kind of thing. It is also fairly obvious that your Mary-Sue DID mean to hurt Warren with the way she was throwing fire. There is no way that she wouldn't get punished (at the very least confined to her room) for something like that. If she looses control or something, all the more reason to practice in some kind of special or at least fire-proofed room. The team can afford to own a well resourced lab, build the fantasticar and whatever else. They can afford a fire-proofed room to practice pyro powers in.
From personal experience three times over, visiting the grave of a loved one is either so painful you can barely do it, or occasionally soothing. If it is soothing, the peace you feel doesn't go away as soon as you turn away.
Phobias don't just disappear either. One of the personal experiences I just spoke of happened in a hospital, around two years ago and now my twin still can't stay in so much as a nursing home for more than 15 minutes without going into hysterics.
Go ahead and block us from your accepted reviews and private messaging if you want. You'll just prove our point about being a petulent child who can't handle an honest opinion or anything that isn't mindless praise.
| Vaneria Potter chapter 1 . 9/27/2007
I thought that this was supposed to be a story about Sky High with additions by the Fantastic 4.
Guess I was wrong, as it seems to me a story about some upstart Mary-Sue, with Sky High and Fantastic 4 characters as either background or arm candy.
First of all, did you ever manage to look past Warren's looks to see his character? He is the stereotypical stay-away-from-me-or-else Bad-Boy of Sky High. He barely tolerated Layla and the other Sidekicks, and then only so it would annoy Will. There is no way he is going to fall head over heels with some girl that he has never even met before.
Incidentally, where are Will and Layla while this is going on? Have they turned into sideboard china ornaments, perhaps?
Also, I fail to see what Mrs. Richards not being Mary-Sue's mother has to do with apologising and potential punishment for her actions. Invisible Girl is the lady of the house, for lack of a better term, and often acts more like Johnny's mother than sister. There is no reason that she cannot hand down a punishment for pranking the Thing, especially as it does not seem to be the first time.
While we are on the topic, where is Mary-Sue's mother? Give us a bit of information. There is no way that one of the Fantastic 4 is going to have a child out of Wedlock. Sue and Reed are married, Ben is supposedly in a relationship (from my knowledge of Canon) and I can't see any of them smiling and nodding when they find out that Johnny knocked up some random girl and has no intention of staying with her.
As we are discussing Fantastic 4 offspring, Sue and Reed do have a child in Canon. However, it is a son, Franklin Richards.
Incidentally, Reed is probably the most straightlaced of the bunch, and as a married man, knows better than to remind Sue that her younger brother has a teenaged daughter. Also, 'chill out'? Since when does the world's leading scientist lapse into teen-speak? 'Lack the enjoyment'? Again, super-genius. Not happening.
Reed and Ben are very close, and although he interveens to stop Ben from strangling Johnny, he is not going to take continued pranking behavior in stride. In fact, he is even less likely than his wife to let Mary-Sue off without at least a warning.
Conclusion: Do everyone a favor and take this down. If you feel a desperate need to put it up again, get a few betas to help you go over it first.
| Amber-Jade James chapter 21 . 9/26/2007
glad to see you updated :)
great chapter hope to read more from you soon
| Gray Glube chapter 21 . 9/25/2007
I have to agree with Dannie-Lynn not much of a role play but still kinky and oh la la worthy. Anouter great chapter.
| DufFan chapter 20 . 9/17/2007
AMAZING! Please update soon!
| Gray Glube chapter 20 . 9/6/2007
The whole boss and secretary thing hahahahaha Warren in a suit and Dannie in a micro mini. I gotta go grab more soda for my sugar high and do math homework and do my nails and then i'll work on my chapter a little. So anyway awesome chapter and I lov the part with lash hahahhaa. What is her costume anyway?
| Amber-Jade James chapter 20 . 9/6/2007
great storie keep it going
| Gray Glube chapter 19 . 9/5/2007
Oh la la is there anything these crazy kids haven't done? Hahahahaha yeah that was good. Anouther great chapter I'm gonna take a nap and get stuff done later.
| Gray Glube chapter 18 . 9/4/2007
Layla is not so innocent huh? This was great it reminds me of when me and my friends play truth or dare. Just a thought though ever think of strip twister as a game. You fall and something comes off. Yeah okay wnough with my perverted glee.
| Gray Glube chapter 17 . 9/3/2007
Hahahahahaha Layla just got corrupted. The janitors closet was awesome hahahahaha I wish I could do that! They lock our's in our school. I gotta go upload my new chapter. Sorry it wasn't up this afternoon but I kinda passed out when I got home. I was so fuckign tired. Anyway great chapter!