|Reviews for A N G E L C O O K I E M I X|
| Shateu chapter 28 . 9/16
Still love coming back to this story every time.
Always a good read and always my top fave.
| dgfg chapter 4 . 9/17/2012
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode!
| Mimi101 chapter 28 . 6/11/2012
I had given up on Heimdall/Loki fics... I thought no one still enjoyed/wrote them...
AND THEN YOU UPDATED THIS!
I absolutely loved this chapter, it was so cute! I hope you keep on writing these!
| Guest chapter 14 . 5/14/2012
u suk i LOVE them!
| darkangel78921 chapter 7 . 5/15/2011
I luv this! But r they in their kakusei fir doing 'stuff' or small form ?
| Miss Effie T chapter 25 . 6/14/2010
loved ur story! i bet the baby would be soooo CUTE!
| Shateu chapter 25 . 5/16/2010
great new chapter; i couldn't stop laughing.
Heimdall and Loki's kid probably would be the cutest thing anyone ever saw if it happened. LOL
Can't wait for more.
| CheshireGrins chapter 5 . 12/22/2009
...I know i said i won't bother u again...!But its just so cute!-squeals-
| CheshireGrins chapter 2 . 12/21/2009
I know what ur storie's missing now!Use of italics and bolder print!Some authors like to use italics or bolder print to make sound effects,or to make a I myself prefer using narrative,i can see that you like using speech to express pain or this one
“Gr...I hate the morning. The sun is TOO BRIght!” Loki whined while stepping out of bed lazily.
This is a well written sentence...Damn i sound ,this is a well written with dragging the i's,i would use italics to ensure the 'bright' just to show more proof that Loki's whining~
Tata!This is my last review,as i have no more advice to give you!And don't take these as an insult please!You're a wonderful writer,and don't mistake that i dont review,its just simply that,i prefer to review,with advise!So goodluck with ur fanfic!Potential,you have!
| CheshireGrins chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
I see that your style of writing is almost similar to 's revolves around the point of...letsee...what you're thinking,perhaps.I'd most likely say our styles of writing are the same,if not for the way i talk.?See?i use more poetic phrases and such-(another point made) yours is more free styled.I would suggest opening a few popular or well written books and take a look at their writing,as their use of words,or perhaps how they format would be a good idea to mix some of those styles or techniques into your writing,if you see it for now,and this is just my observations,but goodluck and I'll continue reading~~
| Hel-Goddess-of-the-Underworld chapter 24 . 11/26/2009
HAH! I FINALLY CAUGHT UP!
I had things to comment about for almost every chappy... but I seem to have forgotten in my delirium... O_o
But there is one thing I haven't forgoten. The chappy before Lullaby- THEY WERE DOING THINGS! Whydiditendlikethat? DX
Lullaby made up for it- but still- the next chapter should have continued instead they were getting drinks -esplode- xD
Beh. Ijustwantedmahsmuts. Sorry. -shot-
The end for that last chappy was cute too.
Also, it occured to me the Nekogami's were sort of like Loki and his mom neh? Only- Loki bitched and escaped. :
Angst is fuel for the soul Larcy. Angstandsmut. -shot-
-scuttles off for real this time-
| Shateu chapter 24 . 10/8/2009
I still love this story; thanks for the updates and please keep them coming.
PS: Out of curiousity, have you ever considered writing a short (even if its just a one-shot) for Yamino and Narugami/Thor?
Again, just out of curiousity.
| Sonar chapter 1 . 9/29/2009
I like it.
| Wraffie chapter 20 . 7/29/2009
Wow, a lot of drabbles!
I'll have to read over all of them, but for now I read only the final chapter (since I'm odd like that. xD) so I'll review this one.
First of all, the rating needs to go up. This is extremely graphic, and it needs to be rated mature. Also, I recommend you stick a warning at the top so readers know what they're about to read. It's never fun to expect some minor romance then have to avert your eyes due to unexpected intense smut.
Myself, I don't mind reading this kind of thing. But you must always be conscious of others.
Now, you were very good with description, and you effectively managed to explain the whole High School thing quickly without getting too off-topic.
However, there are some issues with the idea. See, Loki and Heimdall are Norse Gods, and thus do not age whatsoever. Their bodies were transformed and that is the form they have taken. It is not possible for that form to grow. You could have mentioned that this was an AU, however, you included talk of Heimdall's death. And by incorporating this, you make your story impossible. Another thing is that the adult Loki has hair the same colour as his child form. He's not blonde.
Other than this, however, your story is accurate according to the anime.
"Was it his own lust that brought him to Enjaku, or would a saint call it a form of passion." That should be a question, firstly, and secondly it's just worded very oddly. Perhaps you could say "Was it lust that had led him to Enjaku? But maybe a saint would call it a form of passion." That flows better, and makes more sense.
"Heimdall pulled some purple hair, lilac under a large amount of light, back and smiled" It's good you're adding description, but this sentence is slightly disjointed in my eyes. I had to re-read it several times before I understood what you meant. You should simply cut out the 'lilac under a large amount of light' part to make it flow better.
Also, in one place you put "tour" instead of "you're". Those are the typos and errors I caught, but there might be more. We all make them. Just do the usual and look over your work. C:
OKAY. And now, lastly, I'm going to give you some tips on how you characterized Loki, Heimdall, and Freyr. You showed Freyr rather well, however, one thing you must remember is how gullible and naive he is. I don't think he would become suspicious at all if Heimdall left somewhere, even late at night. However, the bit about him getting distracted by the TV was funny, and I can totally see him doing something like that. xD
Next, Heimdall and Loki. To begin, they are Norse Gods, I remind you. They may look like children (teens, in this case.) but they are ancient beyond their years. In this story they seemed somewhat...immature to me. Heimdall is a rather good liar, and he's extremely cool and controlled. Even when confronted by a suspicious Freyr, I don't think he'd become flustered. He'd probably get mad and tell the other god off for pestering him with questions.
Also, Loki is a trickster, who's extremely collected and difficult to read. A lot of the text spoken by him and Heimdall seemed too simple.
/“I love you, okay!”/ Loki would not be pushed into saying something he did not want to say. He also would be a lot more confident when saying 'I love you', in fact, he might even be mischievous. I can see him saying "Heimdall, what if the words I said back then were 'I love you'? Would you say I love you too?" Or something cunning and rather teasing. He can change the most uncomfortable situation into one that suits him. Loki would have countered Heimdall's question with one of his own, and forced Heimdall to make the first open admittance, all with a little grin on his face.
While the blushing and the embarrassment is cute, I really can't help but feel it doesn't suit these two characters. You need to develop their /voices/ and perhaps scrutinize the anime or manga for little tidbits of their personalities.
/Heimdall snickered. “You couldn’t hold it either?”
Loki blushed, offended. “S-shut up!”/ This doesn't fit the characters either. And it doesn't make too much sense considering these two are males being intimate. When guys are turned on, they can't think of much else but increasing the pleasure. And considering the fact that these two were actually engaged in 'doing the deed' as it were, this speech is completely out of place. Cohesive teasing is not common or even really feasible at this point. The most they might be able to manage is a bit of moaning or some breathy encouragement.
Right, so I'd like to think I brought up a fair few points here. C: Please don't see this as a deterrent to stop you from writing. This is a wonderful pairing, and my intentions were only to help you write it even better. So take this criticism in stride, and keep up the Heimuloki! 8D
| ShoujoAnimeFanatic13 chapter 23 . 7/7/2009
I REALLY LOVE HEIMULOKI!
ITS SO TOTALLY KAWAII!
I LOVED IT WHENEVER HEIMDALL BLUSHES!
ITS SO CUTE!
and on White Day, I liked it, THE FANGIRLS ARE THE BEST!
plus Loki cried, it was really good (I like it, Heimdall getting emotional, and Loki getting sad, ESPECIALLY WHEN FAN GIRLS ARE AROUND)
but I really dont like the lemons, it gives me nightmares, I avoid it
oh, and as for Lullaby, I am informing you that it is NOT T rated, it should be M rated because its WAY too mature
INNOCENT STRAWBERRY WAS AWESOME
HEIMDALL BEING HIS BABYSITER!
as for the first chap, I didnt understand it well
VODKA SUPER NOVA WAS COOL
EVEN ODIN WAS THERE (is it really because of Mayura getting drunk? even Utgard-Loki was there, I WANNA SEE UTGARD (curses, I want to read the manga so bad)
AND WHAT ABOUT FRENCH SILK WEDDING DRESS!
YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE IT LONGER!
I LOVED IT!
AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!
I WANNA SEE THEIR FIRST DATE!