|Reviews for a night to remmeber|
| Jol chapter 5 . 1/22/2013
y'know, you could fit this all into 1 chapter instead of breaking it up..
| Loanlystar chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
| Loanlystar chapter 5 . 6/15/2008
you should probaly move this up to the "T" rating because of these last two chapters... but it is a good story - nice job - but something that bothered me (even though it made it more like a book and not a chapter fiction, which is nice) is that you cut off sentences at the end of the chapter and then continue them on the next chapter, which can be annoying for some people. Also the beginning of chapter 2 it didn't work out too well because you left out some of the sentence . anywho all in all it's nice.
| notyourdaughter chapter 5 . 4/3/2008
THis is good bit dont write it all together use paragraphs or its hard to read.
| jess.sree chapter 5 . 11/22/2007
I love the story, hehe.
| ozeloten chapter 1 . 9/18/2007
Cute story, but you have to learn to write better. To example have more space so it is easier to read, not switch chapter in the middle of a sentence and so on. I would recommend you to read some others stories and look on how they write.
I am not commenting on your English grammar because it is not my first language, but that I am talking about have nothing to do whit what language the text is on, but about how to have a good structure on the text. Like to example divide it into sections.
| missmilktea chapter 5 . 9/8/2007
aww! That is soo cutee! I love the scene and the way that they're like having a reunion!
| xYonakaxMikazukix chapter 5 . 9/7/2007
Aw! This is too cute! I haven't read Girl's Got Game in years! Now I officially love it again xD! Keep up the good work! But I would suggest to not keep it in paragraph form...maybe like this:
Kyo rustled from under the covers and felt parched. "Chiharu? Chiharu?" Kyo whispered in his ear...fast asleep.
Kyo carefully peeled the covers off and gently placed them back on Chiharu. His face was so peaceful. She smiled and tip-toed to the kitchen for a glass of water...
It's easier to read that way/...xP But You don't have to do that!
| nihongoneko chapter 5 . 9/3/2007
Nice story, though the way it's written could be better. In other words, you might want to double check your spelling and maybe grammar too, and not end each chapter in the middle of a sentence. Otherwise, I like it, Keep up the good work! :)