|Reviews for Naruto's Father|
| Pink ranger 13 chapter 1 . 3/18
It's great story
| augustino.gosh chapter 20 . 11/27/2014
gud story but why does minato have 2 die
| shade5280 chapter 33 . 5/20/2014
If you could update that be swell. ;) its a great story but it needs to be updated!
| NamikazeNaruto The Best-Hokage chapter 33 . 1/26/2014
Cool story please continue
| InuyashaBleachNaruto chapter 33 . 6/14/2013
Such a pity how great stories such as this one never get finished. Oh how I wish that it could get finished
| Guest chapter 2 . 3/30/2013
hah littler mwhahahaaha littlerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr littlerrrrrrrrrr bwahahahahahha why'd you say littler?! bwhahahahahahahhahhahahh mwahahahahahha
| NARUHINA 4 EVA chapter 25 . 9/20/2012
I stopped reading cause of naruxino srry :/ naruhina rules all :P
| MugetsuIchigo chapter 33 . 7/14/2012
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
awesome story keep updating
| Balls chapter 2 . 11/11/2011
THIS IS The MOST COCK SUCKING FUCKING SLUT FANFIC I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN I MEAN LOOK AT THE FUCKING SANDAIME OH WAIT HES FUCKING DEAD!
| wow chapter 33 . 8/12/2011
| stormingnight chapter 33 . 6/4/2011
wow just wow
| Mtg.Uzumaki1 chapter 2 . 12/10/2010
uh anko was never a jonin only a special jonin and she wouldn't be one yet anyway
why wasn't there a comment about jiraya being late
also you don't put a comma between first and surnames
| Blessfullmoon chapter 15 . 10/29/2010
interesting chapter :)
continuity again... here you say he learned rasengan in 3 weeks but you'd said he had in a week before...
really? sage already?you might be rushing a bit too much...
| Blessfullmoon chapter 14 . 10/29/2010
I found your story a couple days ago and started reading, and so far I have to say that I like it, and will probably continue reading. But I've been meaning to point out some things and since you asked for criticism to improve your writing I'll tell you what I've noticed.
-You can work on development, of decisions and actions especially I mean. For ex. when Itachi took over for Jiraiya to torture the tsuchikage, I thought he would've used tsukiyomi, it would've made it soooo much better. Instead he looked like a wimp after giving up after only on little stab on the leg. It made no sense. Also, Tsunade agreed way to easily, which considering it was for naruto made sense, but you could've milked it sooo much more. There are quite a lot more like that, but those are the only ones that come to me right now. To be fair I'm already almost at #15...
-CONTINUITY! it's very important and you keep messing it up. What I mean it's not time wise, Sequence of event/time flows fine, what I mean is that you keep contradicting yourself. A lot, it gets annoying and makes the story a bit hard to follow. For example; I really thought he didn't know about the kyuubi, he's not supposed to know at all as far as I can tell, yet here you say that after stabbing his own hand (which I thought was ridiculous, he hadn't seem so stupid in the story to not realize to use the kunai on the wall instead of himself till then. In fact he'd seemed quite smart and reasonable)he basically counted on the kyuubi to heal his wound afterwards, does that mean he knows then? there was another really really big thing on that that I noticed yesterday, one person being there and then not being there big, but for the life of me I can't remember right now. It was a few chapters ago. When I think of it I'll let you know... again just watch out for that and try to keep track of yourself.
-Oh and this is more of an observation. Isn't he just too young to learn rasengan yet? he's what 8? 9? has he even entered the academy yet? I think you should've waited a bit more on that. Especially teaching it when so many enemy nins are in the same building and could be watching to steal it too.
-Grammar wise, there well a couple of things I noticed but nothing glaring. Definitely nothing to make me quit reading out of annoyance (some stories have such horrible grammars, that even if I like the plot, I have quit them since they were literally painful to read). I saw a confused to, too and two somewhere, and what I see most often is missing commas. Try to learn how to use them better to break up sentences. Already you use them well enough, but if you read through some longer sentences, you'll notice that in spots you tend to make a natural pause to make it flow better and increase understanding. That's where you need those commas. I've had to stop and re-read quite a few sentences to make sure I understood them properly.
Again, I don't mean to be mean, really I don't. But I thought to let you know all these things. cause they really can make a difference and it would definitely improve your writing, which isn't bad to begin with, you just need to refine it I suppose. :)