Reviews for Invincible Shield
bugsymutt chapter 9 . 1/21/2014
This was really exciting! I enjoyed the mystery elements and I can tell you thought this out well. Interesting twists, too.
L'Envoi Mort chapter 9 . 5/17/2009
Wow. That's all I can say. I've read this in its entirety twice now, and I'm still blown away. This is one of the best fan fics I've ever read.

As most of you know, I never really saw a lot of the cartoon, but I had a lot of figures and comics. I loved how there were references to some of the dossiers for the various characters.

It was also refreshing to see that the age of the characters was taken into account - something the neither the comic, nor as far as I know, the the show did.

I noticed a very few nitpicking things, but they were mostly very easily forgotten! Nothing really related to the story itself, but some minor typographical/grammatical errors.

I also loved certain ironies of the story - not wanting to give away any details.

Anyway, certainly a 9.5 out of 10. Keep up the outstanding work!

MA
CatBar chapter 1 . 3/10/2009
Found this very readable despite knowing nothing of the fandom, or really what it was all about. Your sentances are well-constructed so it flows nicely, for both dialogue and narrative.
tomorrow4eva chapter 9 . 9/10/2008
One of these days I'll have to watch the cartoons or read the comics for GI Joe. Even with only a rough idea of who everyone is, this was a good read. I found it easy to understand, and the pacing was excellent - never a dull moment, either action or intrigue.
PixieRed chapter 9 . 8/25/2008
Oh, ended up here faster than I thought. I look forward to taking you up on your challenge after I digest it all a bit more (and catch up on your other writings.)

It certainly does explain a lot of personality traits well, in a couple views of the character. Also, you've created a lot to work with in the relationship between Snake Eyes and Jinx, both positive and negative. It's nicely bittersweet. It also makes Stalker's behavior a bit more understandable.

I liked the resolution of the finance storyline and how that ties into the overarching plot, though the sap in me kind of wishes it did all nicely tie together. It fits better this way though, seems more realistic (which is ironic in a spoilery kind of way) and advances the main story line.
PixieRed chapter 6 . 8/25/2008
I can't believe I stopped right before this chapter. It certainly makes a more than worthy reward.

Keeping this vague/spoiler-free:

Your take on Destro's origin was surprising to me. It's hard to believe that the relationship was ever quite like that.

We finally see the lynchpin of Snake Eyes backstory too though there's still some more gaps I'm looking forward to seeing filled in during the next few chapters.

It's great to see Duke show why he's in charge first season as well.

Of course, I still love the little references here and there to how everyone ends up where they are and how they are by the time the series starts. I was grinning big time when another character made his debut.

You've got some excellent action going on and lots and lots of it. It's really something and hopefully I'll be able to finish it this week.
AbCarter chapter 3 . 6/8/2008
My memories of G.I. Joe are all but vague. I remember it as rather action packed. This story isn't and I am pleasantly surprised with its intelligence. Good work.
AbCarter chapter 1 . 4/14/2008
I liked it. The boredom Jinx encountered in her office I can related to that. The subtle introductions to other characters as she made her round; it told me as much about the other characters as it told me about her. She likes to be part of a group, but doesn't quite seem to fit.

I was slightly troubled that the POV for the most part stayed with Jinx except at two occassions: during the fight it momentarily went to Slaughter, but Jinx was there watching so in a way it could have still been her POV as she interpreted the fight from his position (it's kind of like an author taking the POV of a character); and during the talk between Hawk and Snake-Eyes. Jinx was not in the room then and could not have picked up on any of it. It's a bit of a quirk, but I like the POV to stick with one person throughout. I think I would have been less bothered if there had been a scene break between Jinx walking away from the office and Snake-Eyes entering it.

I also have a comment on the grammar. On a few occassions the narrative suddenly jumps to present tense. It seems to be done deliberately as these occassions are all pretty similar. For instance this sentence: "Every time she tries to reach out to her and be civil, she is reminded of why the woman infuriates her so." Should be 'tried' and 'was', even if it happened in the past and is still happening in the present and will for ever be happening in the future: once the narrative of a story is started in past tense, it cannot be just switched to present tense.

That aside, this chapter has made me curious how the story will continue, and that is always good for a first chapter.
Brainiac5 chapter 9 . 4/4/2008
Hey... if I hadn't already violated my self-imposed bedtime hour, I would take your challenge and go back and read the whole thing again- I usually try to review every other chappie or so, but this fic had me so intrigued that I couldn't bear to stop reading even for that short amount of time! This was a great fic with a brilliant plotline- more than brilliant, but words fail me at the moment, so... I applaud wholeheartedly and look forward to your next fic!

I know I haven't logged in -I'm lazy- but it is still I, Brainiac5... Good job!
LadyofSilverSide chapter 2 . 4/1/2008
All this info is nice, and fun. I think that it has nothing to do with what's going on, but I'm only on chapter two now. Still it's good writing, and I'm enjoying myself.
Asterisk78 chapter 9 . 3/27/2008
I get it now. It was like a blinding light...

I love this. I really do. That was absolutely amazing. I have the shivers, it was seriously that good.

~Asterisk*
Asterisk78 chapter 6 . 3/12/2008
I love this story...I think it's my favorite one so far. I thought it was hysterical, and yes, I know that it's supposed to be serious, but after reading about Snake Eyes's backhanded comments I just couldn't help myself.

And kudos on getting both Paradise Lost and the Bible in there.

~Asterisk*
PixieRed chapter 5 . 2/6/2008
It's so amusing to use a ninja in this way. All of the skill, slickness and mystique, just applied a bit differently.

I like how you've carried the time motif through to this chapter as well.

The Mercer scene was interesting - there's a lot to work with when it comes to him. The nods to the comic were fun too.

I'm looking forward to the big reveal and I'm certain that this is all going to tie together quite deliciously by the end of the episode.
wulfgarfang chapter 4 . 11/4/2007
i can completely envision everything you write. i can't tell you how happy i was to see another chapter added to this captivating fic. really anxious for another - keep up the outstanding storytelling - wfang
PixieRed chapter 4 . 11/2/2007
I'm really enjoying the flashback chapters. They seem gritty and real to me. The little touches and the dialogue really make a difference. There are certainly some complications and I'm eager to see how everything falls into place before the first Sunbow season started.
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