|Reviews for Kicking Up Sand|
| Novocain chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
This is a much different style than Mistake, but I love it anyway. Longwinded? Nah. It's perfect. I enjoyed the way the Cloud nin kept taunting Neji, and especially the way Neji killed the guy at the end. Temari's characterization was very crazy/pretty. Excellent work!
| Muria chapter 1 . 1/22/2008
Very vivid... You didn't skimp on the imagery at all, and it works so well in this. Neji and Temari interact interestingly, but I can't really see them as couple... But, the way you wrote it, they can't either.
Very nice writing!
| Asuka Kureru chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
Wow, that was cool. An intense little story, with some insightful details on inter-village politics and the Hyuuga clan. And Neji and Temari played nicely off each other. Nice.
| kindersuprised chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
Hm, I actually really like Neji and Temari as a couple now. This was really fascinating to read and well, everyone has a few screws loose. I adore your Temari (she's so sarcastic and blunt and FUN) and I enjoyed the interaction between her and Neji very much. The descriptions made everything real and wow-
-I just really enjoyed reading this.
| Destrona chapter 1 . 10/19/2007
Great, simply great fic. Few if any comments would this fic justice. I'm very very glad I've read it.
| dreamlifter chapter 1 . 9/27/2007
first of all, great oneshot. a worthy sequel to Mistake
the story as a whole was very hard to read. the hyper detailing of everything made for very slow reading. At times it was very annoying to keep reading on the color of eyes. But, i think you made the right decision in doing so. The story was from Neji's perspective. And what would Neji be without being hyper observant? So it made alot of sense and much respect for going this route. Hyuugas, after all, aren't normal. Especially about what they see and how they see it. The '4th' dimension viewing was cool too.
The story really picked up with the fight at the end. That was really really well done and action packed. The channeling of naruto was a great touch but mostly it was well written and creative.
Liked how not all the plot points were not finished, theres alot of things still going on and unanswered. Absolutely loved how you showed both characters to 'have a screw loose'
| shelter chapter 1 . 9/24/2007
It's about the right length for this kind of story, with all its strange plot twists, counter-twists & if I might say, powerful images. Your other reviewers would call them raw, but I think they are surrealistic & reflect very well on the messy, unhinged characters you choose to put beside them. Still, you managed to put 2 characters we hardly see interacting in one well-rounded story. And it deserves recognition.
| dustbowls chapter 1 . 9/14/2007
Well, yeah, they *would* make a horrible couple, but you made them sound fantastic. Er. Eek. I feel bad for River Country.
| MasqueradingMe chapter 1 . 9/11/2007
Freaky, enchanting, sad, and funny all at once. I
| Katterree Fengari chapter 1 . 9/7/2007
I like the line comparing Temari to Tenten with "like she can move mountains by stepping like a boy". Also in that section, Temari says "my boss is hoping I get laid this week"...I'm guess that refers to someone other than Gaara, right...? Anyway, I was a little uncertain whether it was a command that she make advances just because said boss thinks everyone should get laid now and again, or because the possibilities of a Hyuuga offspring. My mind jumped to the political situation of him being part of a clan, what can I say?
Neji having a "screw loose" is a pun. _
And Temari is soo a sexual icon.
The line "a whirling orb of chakra at sixty miles an hour will hurt like hell" made me laugh.
Oh, the idea of a kaiten on the move..o
I think it's all written well.
They would make a horrible couple, I agree, but I love both the characters.
| MirrorFade chapter 1 . 8/31/2007
An interesting and well-written piece. It is a good sequel, as well.
| Drake-Azathoth chapter 1 . 8/31/2007
You're right about them making a horrible couple, but the chemistry between Temari and Neji in this fic was electric.
I loved his half-dazed thoughts about Hinata's birthday present, the flashbacks to the hospital, the genjutsu artist's provocation and the response he got. One of the best portrayals of a slightly-unhinged character I've seen.
The imagery is also wonderful. Realistic and raw and messy. Also nice to see how the company of Temari influenced Neji in the mission. Now I'm curious if he kept the long Suna kunai...