Reviews for Final Sentence
IWannaLightsaber chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
So sad! And so beautiful, in that achy, deep, lasting sort of way...Thank you. I love it. You did a great job with the Calormen style writing. I enjoyed reading it. And this back story just thrills me! I always wished I could have known more about Aravis' brother, and it seemed so empty for him to just die in some battle... but know I know the truth! ;)
Again, thank you - it's beautiful.
FullMentalPanic chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
Truly wonderful grasp of Calormen style and language in how you wrote the letter. I love the parts where he's describing his conversations with the Archenlanders because you KNOW he's taking a LOT of poetic license. In great contrast to that is the firm impression that quoted Aslan verbatim without any embellishment. "For though you may have luxuries to please the body, you will not have the freedom your spirit requires." A sentence that is true on multiple levels, good job. The progression of understanding, truth, and faith that he comes to as the letter progresses is really beautiful and it's deeply touching. The ending is quite believable in how he's treated, and there's lot of tragedy and pride for how he carried himself. Still, everything hidden will be brought to light; there will be a day when Aravis learns what her brother gained and what that last letter said.
Crazy Koala chapter 1 . 4/26/2011
Fantastic story! You emulated the Calormene way of speech/writing so perfectly it could be straight from Lewis' book. This story is a nice change in subject matter from the Pevensies sibling fluff that I usually read and love in narnia fanfics. And yes, how I wish Aravis could somehow receive the letter. Maybe a wind miraculously (or by the will of Aslan) blew it there?
PieceOfGum chapter 1 . 1/12/2011
Wow, this is... the best Narnia fic I've ever read, I'm speechless.

I'll write again as soon as I've thought of something to write. If I ever find something, that is...
Qween of the Damned chapter 1 . 1/8/2010
Wonderfully written, and a great insight to what might have happened to Aravis' brother, and why she'd hate the Narnians so much under these assumptions.

I wish the letter had reached her, too.
Laura E. A chapter 1 . 10/2/2009
I already commented on this story, but I had to do it again, because it's such a great story! It's very believable, and so sad! I wish Aravis had gotten it...
Bundibird chapter 1 . 1/19/2009

Dude - i'm voting for you! I found your story via CoN FanFiction Revolution, and i'm so going to go and vote for this story, right now.

This was fantastic. Really, really fantastic. you captured the Calormen manner of speech perfectly. This was a job seriously well done.

I loved it. Good luck in the awards!

Love Bundi
Dearborn chapter 1 . 12/26/2008
It made me want to cry. You wrote this wonderfully, especially with the Calormene style of writing. I started to fell sorry for the young man at some point, and I began to wish that he managed to escape somehow. It is sad that the letter did not reach Aravis. Great job!
captive1princess chapter 1 . 12/15/2008
Oh, you made me cry. I felt so sorry for him.
LEA chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
Wow! Very, very, very well written! It shows that things are not always as they seem.
Sapphire Warrioress chapter 1 . 5/21/2008
Wow! This story is excellent. Your choice to write in the Calormene style was a good one, gives your readers a glimpse of the customs and attitudes of Aravis's people towards Narnia and Aslan that Lewis hinted at in The Horse And His Boy.

Your use of language was beautiful and this tale was just the right length.

Is this story going to have a sequel, perhaps Aravis's reflections on her brother's life and her coming to terms with his death. Really it's too bad she never got his letter.

I hope you write more stories in this style, you're an awesome writer.
Swanwhite2 chapter 1 . 11/17/2007
Wow! this is amazing! As Petra said you really captured the Calormene manners and way of speech. It's so sad yet very beutiful. And it fits accurately with the book, which is rare in fanfiction these days.
Avasararasava chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
You've got how the Calormenes talk down to an art! I was called up to clean the kitchen, but I couldn't be pulled away from the story!

Nicely done!
TastyAsItGets chapter 1 . 10/28/2007
The writing was amazing! I always have trouble writing how the Calormenes talk, but you have it down. Man, I love Corin to death. That boy...
Elspeth.Davidson chapter 1 . 10/25/2007
This was awesome. Let me see:

I loved how the third-person narration is simple, almost brutal. It's a great frame ("and they will kill me") for the brilliantly-executed letter. Really good job with the syntax.

There were a few little spelling errors which were slightly distracting. I usually run a last-minute, just-in-case spellcheck.

The phrase "the simple actions of a people cannot truly change a man's heart". So true. It takes Someone much greater.

This is a tragic tale, but somehow you keep hope running through it. Very well done!
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