|Reviews for Going Dark|
| Stasia Ravenclaw chapter 37 . 7/25
| waterdemon9 chapter 37 . 7/14
Such a great story I loved it! After reading your stories I honestly don't think I could go back to reading others where dumbldor is a good guy so much new perspectives and many curiosities and theory's going on in my head I am definitely glad I found your stories they are amazing so glad to read them all!
| Valerie chapter 18 . 6/26
How dare you make a story so bad Harry's just a teen he shouldn't go through this I thought I loved you're story's but I guess I was wrong espisally the way you made Ron I won't be reading you're story's again !
| Guest chapter 37 . 6/13
Love it! Will that's not truly new have yet to find a story of yours that hasn't been great!
So sad just two kids. I wish that you could of maybe had it were they had blood adopted after fostering 2 or 3 siblings that loss there only magical family member. Maybe made it were the oldest one had started first year the same time as there daughter. Will I guess that would make for a sequel. Make the oldest one the best friend of Ro's. Maybe she could be a very rare but true seer. Just an idean
| Guest chapter 33 . 6/13
EXCELLENT! Love the way A.D. died!
As always the story/writing/ writer are also EXCELLENT
| Saissa chapter 37 . 5/22
Very good story!
So glad that Harry finally ends up happy and healthy!
| Saissa chapter 15 . 5/22
Harry got into the bath and Severus got in BEHIND Harry.
Harry wrapped his arms around Severus' neck.
Second later Severus is biting Harry on the back - which is correct for the position they are in.
There is NO WAY Harry could have wrapped his arms around Snapes neck - Severus is BEHIND Harry, not in front of him.
| TexasTurtle chapter 37 . 5/13
Thank you for writing and sharing your stories. Thx
| Snow Leopard Pasha chapter 37 . 5/7
Okay, so yes, other than some parts which weren't well-thought-out and others which could use some expansion, this turned out to be a decent story, and the story line is a good one.
A few points I found (besides the technical details I've already noted) in the story as a whole...
1) Your characters are practically emo, which isn't actually realistic for the situations you have them being emo IN. Harry was tormented so much that he can somewhat get away with it, but no one else should really be emo in the extreme you did them.
2) I think this would function better if you make Harry and Sev's side 'gray' rather than them ever being 'a Dark Lord'. A pair of Gray Lords would be better for the third side in the war.
3) In the beginning, I almost stopped reading because Sev came across as practically another Voldemort and Dumbledore, so you might want to present him as a little less 'evil-torturing-manipulative' in a re-write. He evens out quite a bit by the end, though, so you don't have to change the whole story in this regard.
4) Your initial presentations of all relationships and views on 'love' early on were nothing more than a game of slavery, even Sev's, not of any kind of caring. Hopefully, with the 'toning down' of Sev's dark side in the early part, that will give him a little more of a believable presentation of caring.
Okay, again, good story line, and just keep these notes handy in case you decide to re-write this one as you finish other current projects, and this should be the last of your stories I'll be leaving comments on besides the ones you're still updating! :) I've enjoyed reading them, anyway.
Oh, and by the way...Jordre's editing helped, but he's far from a 'good' editor...Find someone else if you plan on getting other editors for other stories in the future!
| Snow Leopard Pasha chapter 33 . 5/7
Um, in this chapter, you said Ginny died, but didn't she just run off to the Muggle world?
| Snow Leopard Pasha chapter 20 . 5/7
Just to clarify this, when you said Harry 'had been forgotten' for two days, did that mean he wasn't being given food, or was he being given it and refusing to eat it? You didn't actually specify that point.
| Snow Leopard Pasha chapter 16 . 5/6
Hmm...Would Sev really forget he'd given Harry a male pregnancy potion?
| Snow Leopard Pasha chapter 11 . 5/6
Bad, bad bad...If Harry was pretending to be a two-year-old, he wouldn't be able to say something like "Do I attend this school?" and he'd have to ask, "What is school?" That whole thing just doesn't work...
Next, your time frames for when/how long things were happening have been really, really off since Harry was sent to Azkaban, since Snape told him on his first visit that it would be a couple days only until Ginny could do the paternity test, but then Snape was visiting him for what sounded like weeks, and then he left Harry for only a day or less before coming back...and exactly how could Harry pretend to be in such bad shape in 1 day, that he wouldn't wake up, move, or give anything away?
Okay, as much as the ideas work, this story officially needs an overhaul and re-write for corrections (with more logical thought and planning on your part) to really work
| Snow Leopard Pasha chapter 10 . 5/6
Okay, a note about an error in this chapter...
Severus in this story is Ravenclaw's Heir, and somehow Oliver Wood is Hufflepuff's Heir, which leaves Slytherin and Gryffindor for Harry, but you said Harry was the Heir of Slytherin and Ravenclaw? Unless you meant Snape's ancestry wasn't Ravenclaw's but Gryffindor's?
| Snow Leopard Pasha chapter 3 . 5/6
Er...when you were doing the Pensieve memory for second year, the older Harry answered saying he was fifteen...but if he's a seventh year, which you've said in the previous chapters, he's seventeen, not fifteen...
Just thought you'd like to know...
I'll give my opinion of the story at the end, when I'm done reading it.