Reviews for Who wants to be a ninja?
Jahvy D. Prince chapter 1 . 4/15/2014
Character Submission Form:

Full Name: Nalaki su Abarame

Gender: female

Age: 14

Epithet: "kumo Queen of konoha" Nalaki Abarame

Appearance: young girl with; chin cut black hair, grey kimono/hoodie jacket, fingerless gloves, standard ninja shorts, black sunglasses, standard ninja thigh weapon pouch, shin guards.

Bio: grew up along side Shino in the Abarame clan, she has a rare connection with spiders. One day, kono was secrely invaded by bandits, the bandit kidnapped her. That night Naruto discovered this and raised the village alarm in time to save her. Nalaki so grateful for Naruto, visited the hokage to ask the history of Naruto. still so young the hokage gave a short summery of naruto's situation, Nalaki hearing of his struggle vows to support and help naruto become Hokage & rebuild his fallen clan! Abarame clan does not have spider users often, with only 2 others in its history. She along with the 9 Rockies face life as a shinobi together!

Personality: very supportive, calculative, blunt, outspoken, territorial, loyal, fearful when need be.

Likes: Rock lee, tenten, kiba, Hyuga clan, senju clan, Uzumaki clan, killing, Rice, Abarame clan, SPIDERS!

Dislikes: the rape of women, female abuse, human experiments

Weapon: Metal chain bullwhip

Cloths:
bottoms standard ninja shorts, flat shoes, standard ninja thigh pouch, threaded chain belt.
Toplong sleeve fishnet top covered by black bra, forearm wrapped in white tape from wrist to elbow.
Clan crest on front Breast pocket of bra, grey kimono/hoodie jacket, fingerless gloves, black sunglasses, shin guards.

Friend/allies: Hyuga clan, Uzumaki clan, Senju clan, Rock lee, Tenten, Kiba, Shino Abarame, Abarame clan!

Extra fact: wishes to help Naruto rebuild his old clan, she vows to Naruto that one day she will get stronger and search all over the world for all last surviving Uzumaki clan members and return them to konoha!
She likes rice ALOT!

Role: just a secondary role in the story like shikamaru, Kiba, kabuto, ZABUZA etc.

Fighting style: she is a prodigy in the Abarame clan Jutsus, she is gifted with quick thinking, endurance, and stealth. She is is unique among her clan as the only spider user of her time. Along with her coming mastery of the Weapon art of whips, she is formidable!
Jutsu: Arabame clan jutsu (but instead of Beatles, she uses small green spiders)
Spiders in her body: the spiders are green colored, if bitten by the spiders the victim's chakra system gets poisoned.

Bloodline: "Gravity release"- lost bloodline giving the shinobi the power to wield Lighting chakra, water chakra, air chakra, earth chakra. Combine these four chakras awaken the Kekkai Tota named: "Gravity release".

Gravity release jutsu:
1. Space dome jutsu (combines her four elements to create a Dome around her enemy, inside she can freely control her gravity & her enemies to become lighter as her enemy gets heavier)

3. Ten thousand planet Force jutsu (with enough time and focus Nalaki can gather enough gravity chakra to form shimmering force of air [the air collected into Gravity infused clear meteor] to equal ten thousand planets Gravity)

Ninja stats

Ninjutsu: 8/10

Genjutsu: 4/10

Taijutsu: 9/10

Kenjutsu: 2/10
Ninja Kat chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
First Name: Namida (Tears)

Surname: Kanashi (Sorrowful)

Name Meaning: Sorrowful Tears

Gender: Female

Age: 19

Height/Weight: 5'2 (very intimidating I know) and 100 pounds (its most likely she will never gain weight)

Appearance: Namida has blood red hair that grazes her shoulders, its quite spiky and sticks out in random places (she doesn't bother to fix it, its to much of a hassle and shes too lazy to waste her time with it), she wears her headband on her forehead with a line going across it showing that she no longer is loyal to her Village (she comes from Amegakure originally) but her bangs cover most of her headband and falls in her eyes which again she does not care to move. Her eyes are a very bright moss green that often look like they are glowing (her eyes basically look like they glow in the dark which they do), they do however have a black swirl like thing in the middle of her eyes and turns when her blood line is activated, Subete Mi-me (which supposed to mean All Seeing Eyes, but it could mean something totally different) which allows the user to see things others can't whether it be someones true intentions, identity, whether or not they are lying, telling the truth, or what they truly feel, it can even allow the user to remember anything they have ever remembered since they were at least 2 years of age. Namida has a small slender body that is slightly toned with very pale skin (she hates the sun, her eyes are sensitive ya know) and has a not small but not too big bust size. Now what she wears is really plain if you ask me, she wears a black sports bra like thing (Not sure how to describe it any better then that) with white wrappings going around her whole entire torso until it stops on her hips where she wears baggy black pants that stop below her knees and wears a dark blue sash around her hips to keep her pants from falling down with standard ninja sandals and wears a plain black cloak with a wide collar that covers half her face and all of her body. From afar she would look like an Akatsuki member except for of course the red clouds.

Personality, Talents, etc.: Namida is an observer, she watchs everything, to make sure that she doesn't miss anything. She will often stay in the shadows and watch as other people interact with each other, and just so we get this out of the way she is not a people person, she doesn't know exactly how to interact with people much less talk to them, she watchs, she does not interact, that would be too much of a hassle in her opinion. She does not talk very much but when she does she sounds very bored and emotionless, empty, her words come out very blunt and straight forward, getting straight to the point. She if very impatient when it comes to time, she likes to be on time. although from appearance people see her as fragile and doll-like, she is deadly, she is very fast due to her small form and agile and flexible. She is often blank faced and does not show much emotion dubbing them as pointless and of no use when performing a kill. Namida is also very talented at drawing, mostly drawing things in nature, her favorite being trees saying that trees bring life and are art in its own form. you will often find her in trees just so you know.

Ninja Rank: S-rank Missing-Nin

Fighting Style: Namida Uses mostly Taijutsu, her Kekkei Genkai in combat and tends to be more of the Defensive fighter waiting to see where their weaknesses are and then strike at the right moments.

Family: Kanashi Clan (she doesn't like the topic of her Family seeing as her family treated her badly as a child)

Other things: She holds the Subete Mi-me, she is an artist, she is often seen in trees and eating pocky. And if possible I would like if she could be paired with Sasori, and if not with someone else that would go well with her.

Well I know you guys have way more Oc's that you guys have to look at and pop out every now and again but if you could consider my Character Namida then I would be the happiest person in the world (probably not the happiest but pretty damn close) so please think about it and let me know(:

Ninja Kat has left the non-existent building.
SparkLuxLucios chapter 16 . 6/26/2012
If you could, i'd like to submit my character he's ment to be that sort-of super powered bad guy that the main character and all his friends have to work together to defeat.

First Name: Rosuto

Last Name: Gesshoku

Name Means: Moonlight Son

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Height: 5'11"

Weight: 153lb

Appearence: Hair: Ice blue, thin ponytail down to his mid-back and some bangs covering his forehead and framing his face.

Eyes: Red with a slit pupil, scar going vertically down his left eye.

Skin: Caucasion

Hitai-ate: Around his forehead on a long red cloth.

Face: He always wears a black mask that leads down into medical tape covering his neck.

Body: Wears a black skintight t-shirt that cuts off just after covering his chest. He wears fingerless gloves that go halfway up his forearm and over that he wears a high-collared Akatsuki cloak that opens just enough to show some of his skin below his shirt.

Legs: he wears baggy sweatpants taped off with medical tape at his shins and with braces over the medical tape. He wears black standard ninja sandals.

Personality/talents: He is cool and logical in and out of combat. He comes off as cold to anyone who hasn't known him for a while. When in combat, he likes to 'play' with his opponents before finishing them unless his life is in danger, in which case he will end the battle as quickly as possible. He almost never uses his full power unless his life is in danger. He is slightly prideful and won't take orders unless he sees the purpose behind them. he was hailed as a prodigy in nin, gen and taijutsu, having mastered his elements to such a degree that, with the help of his bloodline, was able to access some sub-elements. His genjutsu ability is ranked S, due to his ability to imitate the Uchiha's Tsukiyomi. His Taijutsu and Kenjutsu are ranked A because of the power of his original style. His ninjutsu is ranked S because of his mastery of Fire Earth and Wind elements and his use of the Lava element. He has an incredibly large chakra capacity and excellent control. His favored weapon is a tachi and his kenjutsu style is called Chi Tsuki no Dansu (Dance of the Bloody Moon).

Rank: High S-ranked missing-nin of Getsugakure, associate of Akatsuki before they disbanded.

Fighting style: When he's toying he will wait for the enemy to move first and counter their attacks and battle them with their own style, taunting them to get them angry, then finish it with a swift attack after his opponent gets sloppy. When he's serious he will always go for a kill and won't hesitate to use any advantage he has, including jutsu, bloodline and bystanders. He prefers to attack in kenjutsu while placing many genjutsu over his opponent, resorting to ninjutsu if his opponent starts to defeat him. He will rarely resort to taijutsu, but when he does he will generally mix in nin and genjutsu with his style as well as nature manipulation.

Family: He's been an orphan since birth, never knowing who his parents were.

Other: He only helped Akatsuki because he was bored, he hates bugs.

Bloodline: Dojutsu based-his bloodline gives him excellent chakra control (which is what allowed him to do lava jutsu), create powerful genjutsu (like Tsukiyomi), drain the chakra out of any jutsu coming at him by looking at it, and, by looking at the affected area, essentially undo time. Ex: if he got his arm cut off, he would look at his shoulder and his arm would grow back exactly how it was before it was cut off.

Over powered, I know. But, if you can use him, please do. Thnx! :)

PS: love the story, completely original and well-written. Good job!
SparkLuxLucios chapter 16 . 6/26/2012
If you could, i'd like to submit my character he's ment to be that sort-of super powered bad guy that the main character and all his friends have to work together to defeat.

First Name: Rosuto

Last Name: Gesshoku

Name Means: Moonlight Son

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Height: 5'11"

Weight: 153lb

Appearence: Hair: Ice blue, thin ponytail down to his mid-back and some bangs covering his forehead and framing his face.

Eyes: Red with a slit pupil, scar going vertically down his left eye.

Skin: Caucasion

Hitai-ate: Around his forehead on a long red cloth.

Face: He always wears a black mask that leads down into medical tape covering his neck.

Body: Wears a black skintight t-shirt that cuts off just after covering his chest. He wears fingerless gloves that go halfway up his forearm and over that he wears a high-collared Akatsuki cloak that opens just enough to show some of his skin below his shirt.

Legs: he wears baggy sweatpants taped off with medical tape at his shins and with braces over the medical tape. He wears black standard ninja sandals.

Personality/talents: He is cool and logical in and out of combat. He comes off as cold to anyone who hasn't known him for a while. When in combat, he likes to 'play' with his opponents before finishing them
Heyyou chapter 16 . 11/23/2009
Been a while since this has been updated it seems. Would love to see more.

Heyyou
Shimmer-chan chapter 2 . 6/23/2009
First Name: Shimmer

Surname: Munashii (Void; Space)

Gender: Femane

Age: Unknown

Height/Weight: 5' 7"; 100lbs

Appearance:

Clothes: Usually in a open-backed shirt (Dark Orange, almost brown), and cargo pants with many, MANY pockets(froest green). her Hitai-ate is usually around either around her neck or right arm. She always has her personal Hitai-ate on her person(its like a three-armed, inverted whirpool)

Eyes: Vibrant green, but known to preiodically change

Hair: same color as her shirt, during the summer it's shoulder length and in a ponytiail, winter it's long and braided

Personality: can be a little snippish, childish, wise, pissy, ranty, but those who get to know her, she's very protective of. if she 'adopts' someone (she seems to have a fetish with orphans and dead people(no not THAT way, geez) if someone hurts them in any way (if they dont have dibs) she will HUNT the person down and TEAR THEM LIMB FROM LIMB.

Talents: has a knack for biology, and has a wicked wit. really REALLY good with her (three) swords

etc.: loves rock music (think three days grace or linkin park)

Ninja Rank: far above kage level, but will travel villages (she's loyal to the village that has the most adoptive family)

Fighting Style: uses EVERYTHING (including the odd underhanded thing) has a few jutsu of her own (zuan no jutsu, (sketch no jutsu uma, tora, I, tatsu, saru, mi, tora, hitsuji-allows her to sketch something in the air with chakra and make it do what she wants)

Family: a distant cousin that she positivly HATES, nothing else that she knows of

Other things: all of her body except her skin is made with chakra-enhanced nanites (think stargate replicators) but even before that she had two hearts. she likes to say bullshit a lot... she can copy a person's memories/personality/etc. and stick it in a replicator body (She only does this for family, though)

Adoptive family:

older sibs-

Minato Namikaze (Aniki)

[non-insane]Itachi Uchiha (Onii-san)

Ichigo Kurosaki (Ani)

Erza Scarlet (Onee-san)

Younger sibs-

Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze (Otouto)

Yuusuke Uremashi (sp?)

Luffy D. Monkey

Natsu Dragonil

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Uncle-

Hiruzen Sarutobi

cousins-

Kushina Uzumki

[redeemed]Nagato

Hashirama Senju

Tobirama Senju

Uluquiorria Schniffer

Grimjow Jaggerjack

Stark (he's in the espada)
Chaosthief1 chapter 16 . 1/28/2009
You still alive?
phobosapollo chapter 8 . 10/20/2008
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH, HOLD THE PHONE!(hee-hee, inuyasha!) Why am I so important again? I mean, holy crap sickles! Why am I of all peoplz SO needed, that they don't want me dead, and that Naruto would risk four jounins for me? WTH!
phobosapollo chapter 16 . 10/20/2008
why in gods name would i eat you, whadda take me for a wolf?

LordXwee:*points 1st review*

._.' oh. my bad.
phobosapollo chapter 15 . 9/2/2008
. . .. PUPLECATHRINE!

sinslayer:WTH?

my bad.
fantom kitsune chapter 16 . 9/1/2008
I will admit that sadly *gives guilty look* I have but scanned through the story and haven't any realy indepth critisism. MY initial reaction was "Yay! an OC submission story! A woot* However when I read throught next chapter I pouted and noticed the deadline long gone I did continue to scan and from what I've seen I think you're doing a really good job balancing the charactors If you ever need an OC for another story or (Though I realize it's probably a -no way possible- situation) this one, let me know I'd like to put my charactor into a naruto fic sometime.

Fantom Kitsune
Psycho turtle chapter 16 . 8/23/2008
We! Go Chinatsu! And Sand Team! I really like the team you put my character on, hope they can give the rest a really run for their money. Of course, now they are up against the main characters, so it probably won't end well for the sand team.
Mojo817 chapter 15 . 7/18/2008
You used my quote, yays!

sorry it took me so long to review, my inbox is clogged.
LovesPocky007 chapter 16 . 7/17/2008
This is turning out to be a great story. Keep up the good work.
Liek T chapter 16 . 7/16/2008
Wow.

You guys really have talent for battle scenes. They're really interesting. Hahaha, I loved Aoi's reaction to Kyojiro.

It's interesting how well you flesh out each OC, because though you have the basic information from your reviewers, it's usually really hard to satisfy how the character will react in different situations because you're not the actual creator.

I commend you for doing such a great job.

And I love everyone's reactions to each other. The dialog is nicely done - however, you might want to add more description to infer emotions/other stuff. In addition, try varying your sentence patterns more.

By the way, the reasons why you probaby don't get a lot of reviews is probably because you don't use the series' original characters. A lot of fanfiction readers/writers prefer to read stuff about Naruto rather than a new generation.

Also, people may just read simply because they want to see their character in action, rather than the complete story - so if their characters don't get accepted, they usually stop reading it.

This was a problem with several friends of mine who wrote similar stories.

I hope you won't give up on this story, though. Once again, it's wonderfully written.
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