|Reviews for Lost in Tortal|
| Delta Sierra chapter 10 . 6/9/2009
I love this story! I hope that you'll update!
| NikeIsis chapter 10 . 11/12/2008
This is a great story.
When will u update.
| Proud to be an X-Nerd chapter 10 . 1/16/2008
-bows- I'm honored to to have been of serivce your majesty.
I love this chapter by the way. Other than it's shortness, it's finally getting into the exciting parts. But I'm really hoping she finds a way to get her bike fixed. I still think it shall be great fun to see their reactions to that! -grins evily-
Ouch... the worst injury I've ever gotten was when my horse bucked me off a few years ago and I landed on the rocks that cover most of our yard. -shudders- Luckily I didn't have to go to the hospital.
So I don't envey you at all. :)
I do hope you get completely healed soon though...
| ocean-of-ink chapter 10 . 1/16/2008
| WildPixieChild chapter 10 . 1/16/2008
I told you that bed was evil! Poor baby, on the plus side you can moot all the sympathy points you want and have people carry stuff for you, lol. Anyway, liked the chapter and learned about motorcycles, so update soon my love!
| GinaStar chapter 10 . 1/16/2008
lol..Too funny! And Yeah, I know how Ana feels, when something you work so hard for is destroyed by someone who doesn't know/care (lol..I have an older sister who is completely indifferent to *anything* I'm interested in..and you would think with her being 46 and me 39..she would have *grown up* by now!)
| The knights who until recently said Ni chapter 9 . 1/11/2008
This is really cool. Normally in the someone goes to tortall fics they are super happy to be there and huge fans of the books and all that stuff but Ana is reacting like a normal person for the most part. I also like that she has modern day stuff s.a. the gun and motercycle that add an interesting element to the story. Looking forward to more.
| Fire Daughter chapter 9 . 1/9/2008
i think this is great...i've read alot of stories about people who knew about this world being trapped there, i haven't read any about people not knowing this world...good job
| Proud to be an X-Nerd chapter 9 . 1/8/2008
I liked it. Though, again, it was WAY to short. It leaves you at the end of the chapter, staring blankly at the screen and wondering why the arrow won't go down any further. But other than that, I really loved it. :) I can't wait to see what you're going to do next, and what their reactions will be to the motorcycle. But I know that should be really fun. :)
I think you had her explain the motorcycle pretty well, it's how I might have done it if I were in her situation, and that you could make me think that is a good thing. It means you're putting real feeling into your characters if you have your readers identifying with them.
You could use with more descriptions though. It's like you are just putting down the skeleton of the story, it still needs the muscles and skin layered on to be the best it can be.
If you are looking for a beta reader, I'd be happy to help, but other than that, I don't think you really need outside inpiration. You're doing great on your own so far. And all you need to work on is the descriptions.
Anyway. :) Please do update soon, I can't wait to see what happens next.
| disgruntled female chapter 9 . 1/8/2008
Really great. I've been meaning to write one like this, but I don't think it would possibly hold a candle to yours! As for your question, I think they should want to see what the bike does, like, she has to ride it, maybe even take someone for a ride or something. That would be funny.
| GinaStar chapter 9 . 1/8/2008
Excellent Story! Glad you are back! ;))
| WildPixieChild chapter 9 . 1/7/2008
Poor Ana. But as you being the queen of angst, i'm guessing things wont get any better, lol. Update soon my love!
| skyflyte12 chapter 8 . 12/29/2007
This is good. Why havent u written more? Please do!
| Proud to be an X-Nerd chapter 8 . 9/25/2007
Finally! A bit of fun action! You were killing me there for a moment. But the chapters are still WAY to short. :) I can't wait for you to post the next ones.
Other then the WOW factor, I leave such thoughts in your capable hands. But you should get a very interested reaction from everyone present. I mean, put yourself in their shoes. How would you act if, for the first time in your life, someone fired a gun or powered up a motorcycle. You have to think of their raw feelings and emotions to get an accurate telling in your story. :)
Oh, and one thing. It seems as if for the past few chapters, you've been rushing. You haven't been detailing them as you were before.
As much as I want the next chapter up and writen so I can o... and ah... like the weird girl I am, I'd prefer to have it take longer and be more detailed.
Oh well. That's my 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 my now by a soda with it. :) I hope you don't mind, but your story is so interesting that I wanted to help. :) If I was being bothersome, I really am sorry. :0
| Nanyoky chapter 8 . 9/25/2007
well by the sounds of it, they're pretty freaked out! um... let's see... maybe they should... i dunno. sorry, i'm not a very helpful reviewer! I think maybe they should poke it and try to dismantle it with their magic, that could be kinda funny!