|Reviews for An Accursed Existence and the Bonds of Love|
| Long Live Madara's Hair chapter 5 . 1/29/2012
This last chapter was touching, I actually felt sad about that poor OC dying which is a good job since I usually don't care much for OCs. I think it was the back story in the previous chapter that made her death mean something to me, the reader.
Comparing this to Enchantment, I like this better. I think you made it more enjoyable by being willing to try out different things, like the different stuff in the lemons, and that was fun to read.
The detail in the OCs was good too, and I like how you analyse your writing after every chapter. (It's really interesting to get in the author's head sometimes).
Some criticisms, I thought sometimes you felt too inclined to follow a formula. I guess if it works for you, it's fine, but I felt sometimes the structure was too clear. Like you start off with an OC that's a bit crazy and needs to attack the couple to start off the relationship. This might be action packed, then the characters defend one another and discover they might or might not have some feelings for each other but it's mostly lust really. They have sex then fall in love. Then the love isn't described fully in emotional terms, but pretty much sexual passion dominating. I know this might be the american way of falling in love, but then Japanese tend to be a lot more conservative. They would also be more secretive about their love lives and not openly display kissing etc. Also, in general you could describe things like atmosphere and surroundings a little more so I can visualise where the characters are (I've found sometimes it's hard to know where they are. And are they standing, lying down? etc.)
I hope this doesn't hurt you or anything, I'm probably being too critical. But I do think you are a good writer and you wrote this about 5 yrs ago so you've probably improved a mile, just some things I noticed. I do enjoy your stories though. I believe you're on my favourites list :)
| Long Live Madara's Hair chapter 4 . 1/29/2012
I found this chapter captivating, albeit a little disturbing, particularly the back story of the OC. But the rest of it was enjoyable, definitely something different.
| Snowkid chapter 5 . 1/4/2012
hahaha loved this sequel 2, and the last part. asuma felt like dropping the woman. genius xD poor asuma!
| lilbit1016 chapter 5 . 5/2/2011
Omg please write another one these are so good :)
| WolfbrotherTitan chapter 5 . 6/11/2009
This is a great sequel, but unfortunately it leaves me wanting more! As such I hope you'll continue this line and turn it into a series, though I do realize that you enjoy variety so it might not work for you. Still, it's something to consider.
| Nightmare chapter 2 . 3/28/2009
sorry but I had to stop after this chapter... I personally love the idea of Anko/Kurenai but-forgive my honesty- the sex scene was like very bad lesbian porno. in other words, unecessary and gratuitous fanservice. Characterization was weak (e.g. the scene when Kurenai blew off Asuma isn't something Kurenai would have done. she is a responsible mature woman and that is not how an adult handles a situation like that. and is Anko the type of girl who would easily say 'I love you'?). All the 'my love' and 'babe' was just... corny and annoying. There are more subtle and powerful ways to convey intimacy.
and a pet peeve of mine: conversation is too... "americanized". This series was originally in japanese, taking place in a setting where 'babe' and 'sexy' just isn't used and it ruins the atmosphere. To create a feeling closer to the original series, one of the ways is to have dialogue mimic japanese wording. of course, one must find that balance between sounding natural and not too 'engrish'. sometimes less colloquial wording/word choices does the trick.
writing is mediocre and bland, description could use more creativity. feelings were superficial. overall, a weak fic. I don't mean to hurt your feelings but sometimes, a harsher perspective is necessary. Flattery and purely positive comments is just feeding this frenzy of bad writing across . I do encourage you to keep writing but there is much room for improvement.
| Jade18 chapter 5 . 11/28/2008
Why don't you make another story about this couple? I have reed all your naruto fanfic, and I am impress about the couples you have chosen I have to say that my favorite couple are tsunadexsakura and kurenaixanko, keep the good work. Peace out…;)
| Rabukurafuto chapter 5 . 11/4/2008
And it comes to the thrilling conclusion. I think this is my favorite ending chapter for any of your stories so far. We got a last-minute new villain to menace the heroines and more of Kabuto's evil. Masuyo's death was incredibly poignant and vivid, one of the best original character deaths so far. At least she found some happiness in oblivion. It was also great to have Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai's students show up to chase Kabuto off. The fighting was top-notch and extremely slick. One of your best endings ever. It really was a big improvement over Enchanment.
Nobuko Komatsuzaki 小松崎 順子 ("little pine tree rough obedient child")
| Rabukurafuto chapter 4 . 11/4/2008
I absolutely love this chapter. Masuyo's story is just so twisted and tragic, precisely the kind of backstory I like, but the sex was the best of all. Anko being all depraved and animalistic under the influence of her curse seal and the drugs was extremely erotic in a dark way. I liked the cruel mistreatment of Kurenai and crazed Anko's attempts to subjugate her. Kabuto's a wonderfully sick little bastard here, shooting up Anko with drugs and unleashing her on Kurenai like that; I love him here. I would have liked it if he had stuck around to watch, but I suppose it's acceptable he left since he would have stopped Kurenai and Anko when Anko went back to normal. It would have been great too if Masuyo was coaxed into joining in the sex. She was just an inert lump all during that scene.
| Rabukurafuto chapter 3 . 11/4/2008
Another great chapter with another great fight scene. Best of all though is the appearence of Kabuto. I love that guy. The scene with Anko and Kakashi was fun too, and Kurenai explaining her situation to Hinata was sweet. It was adorable how Hinta wanted to defend her teacher from Masuyo, although I would have liked it more if Kiba and Shino tried to help too. It was clever to have most of Kurenai's skills rendered null against Masuyo since she doesn't appear to rely on sight. Speaking of which, it would be rather demoralizing to face an opponent with eerie blood-stained bandages over her eyes. Masuyo is one of your most discriptively distinctive original characters.
| Rabukurafuto chapter 2 . 11/4/2008
A very sexy chapter. Chapter 2 delives hot sex and hardly lets up at all except to provide some set-up and some sweet dialogue. It's easily ten times better than that limp little scene from Enchantment. It's one of the longer and more detailed sex scenes too. I should take notes from this one. Truly, one of your hotest sex scenes.
| Rabukurafuto chapter 1 . 11/4/2008
Today's subject is the sequel to the little gem Enchantment of Destructions Curse. What do I think of this one? Well the story gets going at the very beginning, picking up right where Enchantment ended and, after a little banter, plunging head-long into an intense fight scene. I have to say though, Kurenai sure was bitchy and unpleasent here. Anko's fight with Masuyo was exciting and brutal. I love that you put good use to Anko's seal; it's really a shame that it was never used in the actual series—a Too Good for That Bastard moment, as some circles would say. There's a good excuse for Anko not to use her seal, but that can easily be changed in writing. You do that quite skillfully.
Masuyo Karyuudomi 火竜富 益代 ("fire dragon wealth benefit replacement")
| xcess chapter 5 . 8/17/2008
| Bad Girl762 chapter 5 . 10/3/2007
ya good sequel! i loved it i like alot of your storys well ok all your storys and im glad your doing another sequel on a different one need one with ino and sakura ) love them together! anyways! really good love it!
| Warlord-Xana chapter 5 . 10/2/2007
bravo, bravo a perfect ending for the sequel.