Reviews for Final Challenge
CrimpyTomato591 chapter 42 . 8/10/2020
[Spoilers ahead for anybody who hasn't read the story. The gist of my review that you may care about is that this is a story that is definitely worth reading, so go read it!]

To start, I'd just like to say that I've never been a huge fan of Advanceshipping. I tend to lean towards Ash finding love with a fellow trainer, just because even if there is chemistry between trainers and coordinators, it's always a bit of a stretch to make a long-term relationship work with how different their careers are. It usually ends with one or both of them having to make some big sacrifice, and I'm just not a fan.

I read this story regardless, because I'm not so petty as to refuse a story for having a pairing that I don't hate.

I was very pleasantly surprised with the story, as it clearly was made with a great deal of forethought and was quite well-written. The lore that you added to the story was awesome, and I loved determining what you were alluding to with the alternate names (i.e. Cyas/Arceus, Whoeen/Hoenn, etc.) Great work on that.

The threat of the pokerus was super interesting, and it really did a great job justifying the means in which Team Rocket was accomplishing their goals. Some fics have Team Rocket do something like capture a bunch of legendary pokemon with little explanation, something that I find very stupid. A virus for pokemon is a very real-seeming threat that really made the story flow well.

Overall, in terms of story, characterization, and lore, extremely well done. I was very engaged early on.

With that being said, I'd say that pretty much every gripe I had with the story was in its ending. I felt it was just way too sudden, and that there were too many loose ends left unchecked. I think it really came down to the fact that your foundation was so unbelievably strong and involved that I wanted a far deeper and more explanatory resolution than I would have normally. Some of the vauge events described in the epilogue just weren't enough for me.

May's charmander, for example, was kind of forgotten about. You said that her child was one of the only things she had to remember Ash by, when that wasn't really true. I would think an egg that he gave her would have almost as much significance as a daughter, especially when it was an intentional action (whilst impregnating her wasn't).

The fates of some people were left fully unexplained, and I really wanted some closure on them. The rocket trio, Anabel, Noland, Giovanni, Paul, Damien, Drew, all of them were pretty much forgotten about. I especially wanted to see Anabel's reaction to Ash's death, when one of the big plotpoints was the complications behind her love for him. Mewtwo would have been another character I wanted resolution for, given that his complexity makes it hard to guess what he would do next, especially after something like Ash's death (as Ash is the only human he seems to care for). Another would have been Deoxys and Max, as I would have loved to see an interaction between them after the final battle.

And then some of the characters who died - I was hoping for a little more than "Samuel Oak went to bed one night and didn't wake up" and "After Ash died Delia was borderline suicidal, passing away right after her granddaughter was born." I think it could have been cool for Delia to find new purpose in caring for his legacy (his daughter), and Oak could have left something more meaningful behind. I wasn't necessarily opposed to them dying, I just would have wanted a bit more afterstory involving them before it happened. Two sentences wasn't enough to leave me satisfied.

Latias was also a bit odd, with the revelation of her having romantic feelings for Ash and then her just disappearing without a trace. Again something I would have liked a bit more elaboration on.

May's future was honestly just a little depressing to think about, losing contact with almost all of her old friends and being forced to raise her daughter alone after Ash's passing. I also didn't really understand the whole thing of her becoming a frontier brain, since I never got the impression she was a good enough trainer to fill the position, and as far as I could tell she didn't train to get to that level in the gap years.

The Ho-Oh part at the end was a nice touch, though, and was a really cool way to give the message of "he's not really dead."

I guess it just came down to the fact that the final chapter ended with Ash dying and no reaction from his friends other than May, followed by an epilogue of about 2000 words that didn't tie up a lot of the loose ends that I wanted to see closed. I wasn't opposed to any characters dying. In fact, I greatly respect when an author does something like it, as it can be hard to have any stake in a conflict when everyone comes out mostly unscathed. I just would have wanted a bit more closure than the epilogue provided.

I remember you saying that the purpose of this story was to shift Ash away from his journeying years, and I guess it sad to have the means of that happening be in him dying, especially without completing his goal of becoming a Pokemon Master. I'm not sure if it would have been possible to have him complete his battle with Cynthia in the framework of the story, but it was just a bit disappointing to have his death feel so... meaningless, or unfulfilling I guess.

My overall thoughts? This was a great story, and I'd just like to thank you for writing it (that is, if you ever read this. I know that I'm about 12 years late to the party). The only reasons I disliked it were in the fact that you made me so invested in your conflict and characters, to the point where generic goodbyes just weren't enough for me.

I greatly respect an author who manages to both complete a story and build it with intent - the fact that you wrote this in a year and that it was so thoroughly planned is awesome.

Should you ever return to writing on this site, I'd be very interested in what you wrote next.

Thank you for the story, it was a pleasure to read.
~Tomato
Sam01124 chapter 42 . 6/22/2020
I have literally no words to describe the feelings I got by reading this story. It had great concepts, great storyline just everything great...
[Spoiler Warning]

Honestly, I don't have enough strength often to read sad ending and honestly I am currently felling my heart a lot heavier to even carry within my body. And Hence it's getting difficult for me to even write the review.

So, all I wanted to say is although the ending really hit me but I am glad I am an advanceshipper and i got the the chance to read this chapter. Lots of thanks to you for introducing me to this masterpiece fanfiction...
Love it

Advanceshipping forever
Guest chapter 42 . 6/20/2020
Final challenge es mentira
Guest chapter 42 . 6/18/2020
May: ash esta vivo. Ash: si estoy vivo May: ASH! ella corre abrazo llorando ash: shhh no llores may may: oh ash pense que estaba muerto ash: may te amo may: oh ash! Yo tambien te amo ash ash: viviremos hoenn verdad may: si ash ash: gracias may
Guest chapter 42 . 6/18/2020
No cierto no puede estar muerto con ash no puede morir sigue vivo por favor gamera kaiju nos va rescatar con ash
Guest chapter 42 . 6/18/2020
No puedes morir ash
Western-Otaku chapter 12 . 1/1/2018
I can't help but laugh every time May thinks she's hungry, that's such an Ash thing to think.
Inspired Soledad chapter 42 . 11/10/2016
Just a little over eight years since you've completed this story and all I can think about after finishing it (in a day mind you) is "Why in all of my many years reading fanfiction since it was published here had I not yet come across it to read it?"

Everything in this story is so natural flowing and I absolutely love it! The relationship between Ash and May is not forced as I have read it in others, but very well developed and realistic to their characters. The plot, history, and backstories for almost every character we have grown up with and come to love is so detailed that they mesh so perfectly together! Also, surprised to see Paul as such an evil character in this but won't be the first to admit it's a nice twist to his character.

There are probably not enough words to go around to describe how well written this story is and I applaud you for your hard work. Thank you for bringing your vision to life in such a beautiful story. It is now a new favorite of mine and I can't wait to read what else you have written here.
Ilizjon chapter 42 . 7/31/2016
The first thing that I did when I first noticed this story, was going to the reviews to see if it was good or not. I read there that the main character dies at the end, and that casted me off it for a long time.

When I ended reading all of the other Advanceshipping fanfics that were worth reading on this site, I decided to come back to this story. And now, after two sleepless nights I can surely say that Ive made a mistake by not reading it earlier.

This story is... special. It isnt similar to any one that I read earlier. It is not written in very advanced English, which is a great thing for me, because it isnt my main language. Also, there arent any grammatical errors that would hurt my eyes.

About the main plot: I like how you made all of those backstories. You did a wonderful character development for all of the characters, even for Team Rocket :D The history itself is quite interesting. You had a great idea about putting some Pokemon mythology in it. About character relationships... well, I was kinda surprised when Silver appeared to be Dawns and Ashs uncle, and that they were siblings. But it still makes sense. Next thing: Paul and Giovanni as a son and a father: in every story that I read, Paul was the good guy, who pretended to be bad. Here we have him as a true evil, and thats something new to me, i like it.

And at the end: May and Ash. I knew that it was an Advanceshipping story (otherwise I wouldnt read it :v) and I was mentally prepared for another kissy-kissy kind of plot between them. And you surprised me, because it was something different. The way they acted towards each other, especially at the end, was pleasant to read. Without great confessions of love it looked more natural to me, and I appreciate it.

When Ash sacrificed himself, I could nearly feel Mays pain. I wondered how youll be able to end this story, and I wasnt disappointed by the epilogue. I guessed that May will have a child with Ash when there was this "moment" between them in Vermillion City, but it was still a little surprise for me. and finally, about Ash being an Ho-Oh: It also makes sense, after what happened to his father earlier.

Summarizing it all, the only thing that I regret is not reading this story earlier. Its very emotional and well-written, if anyone has any doubts about this, I highly recommend to read it.

Matkin22, you did a great job :D
mongiseri chapter 42 . 7/2/2016
I’m in awe as I am writing this review, because this fanfiction is one of the most complex, detailed, and beautiful piece of Pokemon writing I have ever read so far. For the last few days, studying for my finals have been rotting in the trash can because of this story was super hard to break out of it in the middle. Now that I’ve finished it, I may as well leave a review before returning to my studies…

The story. The story of this story had lots of things going on and was a bit confusing to fully understand every single aspect of it, but you have succeeded in tying it together into one in the end. Every sub-story had it goals and it was nice to see them eventually get together in the finale. They were filled with creative ideas of your own I’ve never seen in other fanfiction before and every single one of them had nice turns and twists during it, which was very interesting to read. The shipping was a nice addition to it and personally, as a rabid AdvanceShipper, it was a very pleasant feature to go through. The final scene was one of the best, as it pulls off intensity, action, and anguish outstandingly in the same time. Ash’s self-sacrifice was done in a very heroic way and the despair was very bitter to me, but in a good way. The epilogue was a good addition to the story and I’m glad that May was able to move through the shocking incident and go on with her life.

The usage of characters was well done, with them ranging from frontier brains to an OC. The interactions between them was done in a realistic way that I could picture them saying and doing the same thing in the actual anime. The details of scenes lacked a bit in the beginning to me, but it got better as the story went on and in the closing parts, it was done in a masterful way. The various vocabulary that you used were a nice addition to the story and it has definitely helped me in learning a few words.

Of course this tale has some flaws, one of it being the lack of information on what exactly happend to the Rocket Trio, Giovanni, Mewtwo, Drew, and all the other characters. Although the deficiency of those data made me to think about what could have happened (which was pretty fun and challenging to do, actually), it made things a little bit vague and ambiguous in the end. Another fault would be a bit of inconsistency in a few parts of the story line, but it all played out nicely in the end. The grammar and spelling had some problems but they were very trivial and was actually done in a better way compared to other authors.

Overall, this fanfiction is a piece that definitely goes in to my personal “Top 5” list and is definitely on par, or even exceeds May’s Crush, which I also really enjoyed. It looks like you haven’t been writing for quite a long time, but I’ll definitely read your writing when you decide to come back. Thank you for all the fun I had in the last few days and hopefully I’ll get to read more from you in the future.
Sajin James chapter 42 . 6/5/2016
epic.. awesome story though the ending was a bit depressinganyways that's where the spice of the story lays. Good work. Thank you for this splendid work. Best wishes
Queen Sunstar chapter 42 . 3/13/2016
This story is awesome! I enjoyed every moment of reading it! I hope my next Pokemon story is just as good!
GaztheFuture chapter 1 . 1/9/2016
Honestly I think think this is the best Fanfic I have ever read, absolutely brilliant mate.
CedricDiggory01 chapter 42 . 12/27/2015
ONE OF THE BEST STORIES EVER! Not only because of the great plot but because Ash died but reformed into Ho-Oh.

I don't think anyone has taken it to the point where Ash dies so great job!
Paul McKinnon chapter 42 . 5/27/2015
I'm... surprised. Not happy Ash had to die but... yeah. I'm probably not going to read this again... for fear of going into depression. It happens sometimes when there's a character death. Yeah...
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