Thatwas a hella nice entrance for Rayquaza just oh hey whats this i think ill fuck it up

The ending was a very emotional and I liked how you were able to add all of the other side stories and ended it with a bang(literally lol) but overall really good fanfic this was probably my fav for a long time

Good job:)

Very Emotional Ending.
Definitely up there as one of the best fics I have ever read.
Appreciate your work I wish you the best and hope you continue your work as a writer.
THANK YOU.

Very Good! I Loved Your Story. Please say when your next Pokemon Fan Fiction will come. And Make This One Not So Sad For My Daughter. :)

Here is my retrospective review:

Final Challenge is a hard story to review. The reason for this is because the the plot does not appear until chapter 16. Then, it is not until chapter 30 that the protagonist actually meet the plot and they don't actually try to get involved until about seven chapters later. The heroes of the story engage with the plot five chapters away from the story's ending. While most people, including myself, would see this a drawback to any other tale as a whole, I think that it actually works for this story.

It is a lot like Half-Life in a way. The plot is something that is going on in the background. It is not until the hero is near the end that the plot begins to matter. It shows a commitment to pacing that you just don't see anymore. The beginning is slow and normal not only to establish the setting and characters, but also to make things more meaningful when things escalate. When it comes to pacing, Final Challenge does it masterfully.

It also does the ending well. While most writers would have had the "all-powerful being" that exist in Final Challenge summoned and battled, the author realized that we the audience have never seen it nor heard it speak. Therefore he chose for the final battle to be against Giovanni, the real villain we have been keeping up with. Endings should never bring in new characters because the audience has no connection to them.

The final moments are good too. The way that Ash figures out how to win is both reasonable and excellently done. How he acts is even better. Sure, the result is a downer, but the epilogue does an excellent job showing that life goes on and that hope lives on.

Does Final Challenge have its problems? Yes. The absence of a real plot for a large aspect of the story is sometimes a large draw back (especially in slower moments). Also, I found the Forrest and Dawn relationship weird. I saw it from Forrest's side, but I don't ever recall once when Dawn showed any romantic interest toward him. It is implied that most of it was "off-screen", but if it is so boring that it is not shown, then it begs the question of why it is there at all.

Forrest's presence period is also something that confused me. The story would have been just fine and would have continued on in the exact same way were he absent. It sort of makes me wonder why he was written in in the first place. If there is one thing that I don't like it is the presence of a character in a story that has no purpose. You could literally replace Forrest with any male character in the Pokemon universe that lacks an interesting personality and nothing would change at all.

Then there is Rey, who can't figure out whether or not she is a serious character or just comedic relief. There are several times where she breaks off from the group to have a small adventure in the near vicinity, but the scene always ends before any serious development happens.

Thankfully, Final Challenge has more positives than negatives. While it may not be the best story I've ever read, it certainly is in the top ten; and for me, that is saying a lot.

*clap clap clap clap* Very good story, I loved it.

Great story so far.

Wish I had more time to read, but I have a lot of homework this weekend. :P I might as well get it done now so I'll have time to do other things later.

I know that this a fan fic and all, but you said that the king had the GS ball. That is impossible, because the GS ball looks exactly like a pokeball, except it is gold ontop. However, if you've seen the Pokemon movie Pokemon 4ever,(I think that's what it's called) then you would know that having a GS ball 400 years ago is impossible, because in Pokemon 4ever, Sammy, which is prof. Oak, pulls out the pokeball that they used 30 yrs. before ash was born( I did the math, Sammy has already time travelled with celebi, and they time travelled 40 years into the future, and ash is 10 yrs. old, so I subt. 40-1030)and the pokeball is silver and instead of a small white circle in the middle of the pokeball, it is a large dark red screw that opens the pokeball. This happens when Sammy calls out charmeleon. But this is a fanfic! Which means you can make pikachu and Brock have sex. That's the beauty of fanfics.(the fact you can put anything you want, not Brock and pikachu losing their virginity to each other, though!(lol)) p.s. I was just saying a fact that in the movie the GS ball is not 400 years old

That kiss felt forced.

I loved this story, up until this point. I can't stand it when I read these excellent stories and everything comes crashing down with one death. Could you please write an alternate ending where Ash does NOT DIE! PLEASE! Other than that, this was one of the greatest fics I have read.

This is the most wonderful story i have ever seen! The ending was such emotional that it made me cry:(!

Paul as Giovanni's son? I guess that makes sense, but it's not something people would agree on.

Were you planning on making Dawn that manipulative from the beginning? I kind of like that side in her. So now things will finally pick up for me. Got to admit, I didn't think it would be that interesting at first. But even so, you're being really stereotypical on the entire story. Careful with future work on that.

Raquaza, huh? Why do I get the feeling that I'm actually starting to enjoy this? Anyways, your battle descriptions need work.