|Reviews for For the Love of One's Country|
| I Am Sparty chapter 23 . 10/28/2010
Excellent! While I'm still a bit miffed at the change of pace about halfway through the story, as well as Link's introduction at that point and Ganondorf's quick death, this story picked up very nicely when Ogadai was introduced. Though the "Ogadai Chapters" seem a bit more like a sequel to the "Tale of Chusai" than an actual continuation of the same story. Not a bad thing, but the difference is certainly felt.
Okay, so we don't know exactly what Chusai's spell was that saved the world. Perhaps you'd like to keep this a mystery from the readers, letting them figure out for themselves what it really was. We saw the result of it for certain...but why would all Royal Guards learn this spell? It kind of seems like a plothole to me...in fact, it almost feels like a cop out in some ways.
Yeah...so Chusai was loyal to Ganondorf for a bit, her will broken by him. She never seemed to go back to normal once the effects of Zelda's Triforce on her changed her loyalties once more. Even though we can say the Triforce is what brought Chusai out of her sleep, out of her service to Ganondorf, I still think it's a bit of a stretch. A rude awakening, I'd think, wouldn't shrug a person from their newfound loyalties so easily, espeically since they had been ingrained into her for years by that time.
In fact, because of this, I think Ogadai's naive character is the most believable of everyone here. I still think Chusai is a great example of inner strength, which I think is the main theme of this story, but Ogadai certainly never betrays his characterization. For that matter, neither does Ganondorf. I especially enjoyed how you wrote the ol' Gerudo in this fic, and even his death didn't diminish how dangerous he seemed.
For the rating of this fic, I'm surprised you kept it at "M". This certainly seems more like a "T" rating...I can't remember any real controversial content here. The swearing was minimal, there was pretty much no sexual content, and the blood and gore was described but not graphic.
All in all, I did enjoy your story. I can tell that you put a lot of effort and work into it, with careful planning and much editing to get the wording and actions just right. It was a beautiful fic. However, I think this story isn't as fun a tale as your "Dr. B" fics portray.
Keep up the great work, and you know I'll always be around to read and comment on your works!
| I Am Sparty chapter 22 . 10/28/2010
I just have to wonder...why a Quarterstaff? Considering Chusai's weapon of choice was the sword, it'd have been a little more fitting, I think, to see her soul become a flaming, spiritual sword instead of a staff, which seems to have no place here. Just a thought.
I'm also curious as to what that spell was that killed Chusai and saved Ogadai, but perhaps I'll learn that in the epilogue.
Another thing was that all that planning to storm the castle seems to have gone to waste...I don't know if you simply wanted to speed up the story or throw a twist our way, but since there was no need to go after Ganondorf/Ogadai, then I think you should have simply mentioned that there was a plan to get into the castle, but not go into detail about what they were going to do since all that never occurred anyway.
But it was definitely fitting to see Chusai's spiritual essence transform into a weapon and destroy Ganondorf like that. And great job letting us know that Ganondorf, though a spirit, could still potentially get his hands on the Triforce. You think maybe the King of Hyrule in tWW was also a spirit or do you think his life was merely elongated? Real quick, in my opinion, I think the fact that Link tried to reach for him meant that he was trying to save the old man from drowning, otherwise the kid wouldn't have worried too much about the King's fate had he actually been a ghost.
On to the ending I go.
| I Am Sparty chapter 21 . 10/28/2010
That's unfortunate for the naive Ogadai to be taken over by Ganondorf like that. You'd think he'd have a better chance, but ol' G-dorf, even in death, is dang powerful. At least he found out the truth about his father...let's hope this revelation doesn't go to waste in the end (from what I can tell you don't have any plans to kill off Ogadai...but you did let slip that Chusai dies in the end).
| I Am Sparty chapter 20 . 10/28/2010
I've been so busy lately, and I meant to finish this story yesterday. Things never go the way I want them to.
You know what? Ogadai living among the Kando like that kind of reminds me a bit of my own childhood to a certain extent. What I mean is that when I was about eight I moved from Michigan to Florida. All the kids there thought that I talked strange and that I dressed funny, simply because I came from a different part of the country. Amazing how many things are different between distances like that. I got picked on and everything, and my family always told me that I shouldn't get into fights because it would get me in more trouble than it was worth.
Anyway, enough about me. I did like the flashback from Ogadai's perspective and thought it served well as a bit of insight into how he is and why he reacts to situations the way he does.
Another interesting aspect of the this story is the backseat role that Link is taking at this moment. In many cases we see him as the main character, since he's the hero and all, but it's certainly different to see him from a distance. I think you pull it off pretty well too.
| I Am Sparty chapter 19 . 10/26/2010
I have to say that I was especially impressed with the scene where Din came to visit Ogadai to give him advice. I like that you kept her aloof of morals and human matters. I think you personified Din very well as a Goddess that values power over all else, even though she realizes the need for Wisdom and Courage to balance the former.
So Namu realizes what Chusai did for her all those years ago? Good for her. Looks like some Gerudo will work to unite Hyrule as well, and Namu's a powerful woman in the desert dwellers' society. This is a good thing.
And Ogadai begins to fight Ganondorf's influence. Very nice. I hope this ends well for the young Gerudo.
| I Am Sparty chapter 18 . 10/26/2010
Poor Chusai, getting blackmailed like this...reminds me of my divorce proceedings.
Anyway, there was some good, descriptive action here, and I like the attention to detail about her wounds, how they affected her abilities and how her struggling in response to Ogadai being manipulated reopened the wounds. Great visual stuff here.
Also, it's pretty ominous to have the ghost of Ganondorf take over Ogadai like this. It's almost like a nightmare, a horror story in some ways. Great work on this!
| I Am Sparty chapter 17 . 10/26/2010
Oh, jeez...I do apologize. For some reason I remembered that the story ended as I had explained to you in the private message a few days ago, but now I really recall that such was not the case. Yeah, you added to the story after the first climax, bringing Ogadai into the mix, Chusai's son. I remember that this was the twist to Chusai's years of service under the Usurper King, that she bore him a child, which actually kind of made up for the disappointment I originally described to you as feeling.
The story seems to jump from one scene to the next with very strong transitions, not subtle at all. This is a fun style to read because it paces the story a bit faster, and I know that you love writing fast-paced fics. I certainly enjoy reading them.
I think the idea that Ogadai is a Gerudo male with pointed ears is kind of neat. But I think it's strange how Ganondorf's model changed from OoT to tWW, how he originally had the rounded ears in the first game, but then, I believe, he had pointed ears in the next. I always wondered if there was some legitmate reason for this or if it was just artistic license on Nintendo's part.
Enough of my tangent. I need to finish this story. I owe it to you.
| Darth Mara chapter 23 . 4/12/2009
Well, I've reached the end at last, and I'm a little sad, mostly because there isn't any more story left to read. This was a powerfully compelling story, full of excellently written drama and tragedy, and here at the end I am certainly glad I found it, since it was definitely worth reading. Here's hoping more people find this in the future.
In summation, this is one of the best fanfics I have ever read, and I will certainly come back to read it occasionally in the future.
Well done! I look forward to reading more of your work.
| Darth Mara chapter 22 . 4/12/2009
Yeah, I was afraid this was how it was going to turn out for Chusai. But, there really wasn't any other way for the story to end, and to tell the truth, this makes for a very powerful conclusion. As one of your other reviewers said, the way you wove your descriptions in this chapter made for a thrilling mental picture.
Excellently done. Now on to the epilogue.
| Darth Mara chapter 21 . 4/12/2009
Finally, Ogadai gets a good look at what his father is really like. But Ganondorf's not going away that easily; this is shaping up to a nail-biting conclusion.
I must also comment on the short scene at the end. It was touching, yet another well written scene in this well-written story.
Only a couple chapters to go now.
| Darth Mara chapter 20 . 4/12/2009
The flashbacks were a good insight into some of the missing time from the story, especially the last one. Poor Chusai; she's been through so much, and I'm sensing this isn't going to end well for her. I'm hoping it will, but this doesn't seem like a 'happily ever after' sort of story, for her at least.
On to the next chapter!
| Darth Mara chapter 19 . 4/12/2009
Hmm. Ganondorf has a good point in his conversation with Chusai; everybody does try to shape the world in their own image. He's just... taking it a little further than most people are able.
Ogadai's conversation with Din also raised some good points. On to the next chapter! I'm almost to the end now.
| Darth Mara chapter 18 . 4/11/2009
In a story of strong emotion, I think this chapter had some of the most powerful scenes yet, especially at the end. We're reaching Star Wars-level family tension and intrigue here, and that's another positive comparison.
Sorry my last few reviews have been shorter than usual; I'm so caught up in the story I don't want to stop for long before I go on to the next chapter.
Unfortunately, I have to stop there for the day. I'll be back tomorrow, though.
| Darth Mara chapter 16 . 4/11/2009
Oh, there's just no end to Ganondorf's manipulations, is there? Now he's got his tentacles around his son, and who knows what he's going to make the poor boy do? Hurry up, Chusai!
| Darth Mara chapter 15 . 4/11/2009
I really thought the descriptions in this chapter were above-average for Ogadai's first visit to Castle Town. It was excellently depicted from the perspective of a boy who's never seen anything like it, and I think you caught his sense of wonder very well.
Another part I have to say I was impressed by is Link's test. The reader knows immediately what Link is doing, but Ogadai has no clue, and you captured that perfectly. I just have to say, I love your writing style.
You didn't have to end the chapter with a cliffhanger, you know; the story's compelling enough already. ;)
On to the next chapter!