|Reviews for What's wrong with Pony|
| rebuild-your-ruins chapter 2 . 3/16/2012
I really like this a fic so far. I don't know if you've already noticed this or not though... But in the second chapter it says Ponyboy can smell Sodapop's colon. Pretty sure it should say cologne. Kinda weird that Pony knows the smell of his brother's ass. Haha, just thought I'd let you know. Besides that, this is a really good fic! :)
| Glee Clue Rock 1251 chapter 11 . 10/20/2011
Wow great job
| SnowflakeMelodies chapter 4 . 1/5/2011
Thank you for being the first person I've seen to not make Steve suddenly, like, "Oh, I gated the kid before but I've had a sudden change of heart and love him! (brotherly)" it just doesn't fit when people do that. Good job! For that you get a cookie! *pats head*
But isnt there a law that you have to operate, even if they don't have the money?
| GGTOPSATEHARDLY chapter 6 . 10/30/2010
sry hunny... you have a good base for your story bt u need a beta, bad
| iLiKeTrUfFlEs4510 chapter 11 . 7/15/2010
Wow, ok that was AMAZING. I loved that I haven't read something as good as that in a really long time and wow your a really great author. Please, read my stories and try to help me to be as good as you!
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/12/2010
wow great story
surprised from the ending but great story
just a little confused bout soda going to war every one says
| Kelly chapter 6 . 4/22/2010
CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR STORY TAKES THE PRIZE FOR WORST PIECE OF LITERATURE I'VE EVER READ!
Okay, here's the thing: I'm not trying to take this out on you, but you did write this horrible piece of literature, so I guess you deserve it. I am so sick of people like you who write utter crap! You should be ashamed of yourself.
GET YOUR DAMN FACTS RIGHT! Go back to third grade and relearn the proper writing technique, too.
Here's the major problems I have with this story:
1. YOUR GRAMMAR IS ATROCIOUS. You spell worse than my 9 year old cousin.
2. IT'S FREAKING NOT SPLINE! IT'S SPLEEN! If you don't even know how to spell that which your entire story is based around, you shouldn't be writing it.
3. This is so inaccurate. A "tiny" cut in your spleen is not going to cause that many problems.
4. If the cut is causing that many problems, THEY ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE TIME TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE SURGERY! YOU WOULD BLEED OUT FIRST!
5. After being laid up in bed for a week, a cut isn't just going to spontaneously form in your spleen. It would have shown up MUCH earlier.
6. The entire story (so far) has been based on the fact that the hospital is denying treatment. EVERYONE WITH A BRAIN KNOWS THAT THAT IS ILLEGAL! Not to mention immoral. I mean they wouldn't just let the kid bleed out because of no insurance. They legally cannot do that.
Did you hear me?
Yes, I know that we all make mistakes. I know that I do! But seriously, your story SUCKS. There is no way to sugar coat it. I'm sorry for flaming you, but it needed to be done. All your friends will do is review and tell you how wonderful you are, but I will be honest. You need someone to be honest. Honestly, YOU SUCK!
Do the world a favor and stop trying to be a writer. Do something else. Everyone has a talent. Maybe yours is math or science. But I promise you that it is NOT writing.
I can't even bring my self to finish reading it. That's how horrible it is.
And you are welcome for me taking my time to read your horrid story and tell you how much you suck. Because I have a lot else I could have done, but I decided to help you. So you are welcome.
Hope I never have to read anything written by you again,
| SimplyMonkey chapter 5 . 2/3/2010
There was only one problem that I could find with this story. Spleen is, well, "spleen" not "spline". Other than that, this story is very good.
| Bobbie3926 chapter 11 . 6/20/2008
I loved it. It was cute.
| 15lovemeforwhoiam15 chapter 11 . 6/14/2008
I love it.
| RunningWithTime728 chapter 11 . 5/11/2008
I enjoyed reading your story and how times of need can really pull family together. The ending was a little sudden and kind of sad in a way (telling when and how everyone died). But awesome writing, keep up the work!
| Raven Skye3173 chapter 1 . 4/17/2008
| ss chapter 11 . 2/18/2008
ive read this story like a million times and it doesnt get old ;)...ur a great writer and i think the soda-pony comfort is just unbelievably cute...
write more plz!
| fictionfan43 chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
I LOVE THIS STORY
| does it really matter chapter 3 . 2/2/2008
it's intibate, not incubate. If he was being incubated they would put him in a warm room under a light until his egg hatched. If they intibated then they put a tube down his throat so he could breathe. I think you were going for intibate