|Reviews for The Fall of Venus and Jupiter|
| crystalwolfberri chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
beautiful! what an interesting way to write, but I do like the repeating phrase and lack of dialogue here. :)
| Albino Black Dove chapter 1 . 1/29/2008
Pretty good, pretty good.
A few things I noticed:
1) Tense management? Like in the first section there's "he's ever been on" which is present tense, and the rest is basically past. No biggie though :)
2) The "had to keep her safe" thing was interesting, but really annoying (and corny, for lack of a better word)
3) Maybe one or two slight gramatical errors. Maybe.
Other that that, good job!
| PeaChii chapter 1 . 9/11/2007
I'm not a sandshipper myself but I love this cute story of yours!