Reviews for The Fall of Venus and Jupiter |
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![]() ![]() ![]() beautiful! what an interesting way to write, but I do like the repeating phrase and lack of dialogue here. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Pretty good, pretty good. A few things I noticed: 1) Tense management? Like in the first section there's "he's ever been on" which is present tense, and the rest is basically past. No biggie though :) 2) The "had to keep her safe" thing was interesting, but really annoying (and corny, for lack of a better word) 3) Maybe one or two slight gramatical errors. Maybe. Other that that, good job! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm not a sandshipper myself but I love this cute story of yours! |