Reviews for Starfox: Sunrise Over Lylat
BoredZero chapter 27 . 5/8/2014
halo11791 chapter 27 . 5/5/2014
Beautifully done! Is it just me? Or the white-dyed vixen disappearing without reason and terrany a good coincidence? But other than that, it's a damn fine good story to, in my opinion, make even stories like divergent and hunger games have a run for their money.
Foxhound47 chapter 27 . 5/4/2014
One word: Wow.
Keep up the good work!
Landofdragons chapter 27 . 5/4/2014
Damn, I have to say, that was a great chapter. Now if only I didn't have to wait so long between chapters. The super saucerer reminds me of an Arms Fort (Armored Core 4 and For Answer) mixed with the death star. I hope to see that thing go down hard as the fate of all way too big mother ship style dreadnoughts. Also I want to comment on the execution but I don't want to do any kind of spoilers or do anything more than hint at something that I noticed. Thank you again for this story.
bryan mccloud chapter 27 . 5/4/2014
i am very certain that terrany isn't really dead yet.

i am to believe that she is somehow alive but

the summary of your story(not in any chapters but below the title itself) says it all that terrany is the protagonist of the story.
Guest chapter 26 . 3/27/2014
After reading through this story in a few sittings, I have to say it's one of the better fics I've read on this site. Props for good writing.

Just one question, is my assumption that the "Primals" are actually humans correct? Or are they some other hominid species?
Dominator32153 chapter 26 . 2/7/2014
Credit where it's due, this is the first time a fictional villain has made my skin crawl.
Dominator32153 chapter 23 . 2/6/2014
Sex slaves. Cliche yes, but there is no easier way to tell just who the bad guys are and why we should hate them.
Dominator32153 chapter 21 . 2/6/2014
Death camps. A 150% guarantee of evil.
jollygreendragon chapter 26 . 1/15/2014
I'm not really sure where to start with this. On the one hand, this is a really, really good story, in a fandom that's notorious for having really awful stories. Seriously, this is professional-quality. I have a handful of minor gripes in general - most of the dogfights are solved using essentially the same tricks over and over again, for example - but the characterization is excellent, the character arcs progress beautifully, the technology and politics of the universe are both consistent and somehow loyal to the actual mechanics of the games... Simply put, this is how fanfiction is done, and this is one of the best arguments out there against the stigma of the medium.

That said, I have two problems in general:

1) Implied rape in chapter 26. Other people have complained about it, so most of the points are already said. I feel it was *completely* unnecessary, not to mention the fact that it was a) practically glossed over and b) irrelevant to the plot. What's worse is the amount of damage it could potentially do to what's already an excellent story. Terrany is an engaging, compelling character with visible flaws and unique talents; depending on how the sexual abuse is handled, either she'll end up with psychological issues that would overshadow the flaws that are actually plot-relevant, or the issue of combined torture/rape will not be handled with the respect it deserves. This is NOT something that you can gloss over, but if you don't gloss over it, you will potentially ruin a well-done character.

Seriously, I know what it's like to want to spark emotional concern in your readers, but there's a difference between having your protagonist's worst fears become realized and having them captured and raped out of nowhere by a faction that we've already established as goddamn evil.

2) This is kind of tied to the above: the Primals are too evil for me to give a damn about them. Any of them. They're effective villains, and they provide strong obstacles for the heroes to overcome, but they aren't NEARLY sympathetic enough for the amount of attention you give to their viewpoints. Every time the protagonists show up in the story I just gobble it up, I've read the entire thing over the course of about a day and a half straight, but I've literally skipped over every part with the "Homeworld (Venom)" header since about chapter 15 (until Terrany was captured). I just can't stomach it. Worst of all is, at no point have I felt like I missed out on important story events because I ignored the Primal viewpoint. They are completely unnecessary and painful to read.

God, I feel awful posting this kind of review on a story that I liked as much as this one. If I'd reviewed on Chapter 25, it would have been much, much more positive, but goddamn. It's like everything that was good about Sunrise Over Lylat decided to take a vacation here.

Chapter 25th went up March 4th, 2013.

Chapter 26th went up October 29th, 2013.

That's 239 days between chapters. I never want to complain at people about slow updates, but this is a really, REALLY crappy note to leave off on.

For those reading reviews to see if a story's worth checking out, I'd like to point out that this story's in my favorites. A little earlier on I was actually considering writing fanfiction of this fanfiction. That's how strong it is. You owe it to yourself to check it out.

...But maybe stop at chapter 25 for now.
ultrafennec chapter 26 . 1/6/2014
Late as heck, never even noticed this chapter went up when it did, but now I've read it, and I gotta say...

Look. The prose is brilliant, as always. You take way more care with your work than just about anyone else on this site. It's obviously been through a lot of edits, rewrites, and work to get it crafted to this high polish.

But I truly, honestly feel you made a rookie error here.

The suggestion of the rape is, frankly, completely unnecessary. Terrany has already been captured, beaten, cut up, deprived of every basic necessity that those of us in the first world take for granted. Her home has been put through the horrors of interstellar war, and her psychological profile is probably CRAZY screwed up from recent events.

Having the interrogator rape her simply feels superfluous to me, and in the worst possible way. Does this happen in real life? Of course, but here's how I feel: It doesn't add a thing to the story that we didn't already get from previous descriptions of the torture, it doesn't really make the Geasbreaker an even worse person than he already was, or make me hate the Primals more (which is what a well-written villainous act should do!), and Telemos being the one to defend Terrany and threaten Rolfe with death just felt awkward as hell, because Telemos is severely screwed up already and...

There comes a point when you've deprotagonized the hero enough for the purpose of the story, and while I'm super grateful you didn't go into detail about it, you blew past the line with this. I really, honestly believe this. I've read stories that included this element that made me horrified, but immediately ready to pick up arms with the hero and fight against the wrongs committed against them.

This just made me feel sick to my stomach to the point I almost vomited. That's not a feeling I want to have when I read a good story, and I really thought yours was a GREAT story...right until this chapter. Now...I'm not so sure. If that sounds strange, I'm sorry, it just really bothers me that much! You didn't and don't need to go that far to get things across well, and it feels like you sunk to a lower level.

If any of this offends you, I'm really sorry, truly. I don't know if you'll ever read this review, but if you do, I'd dearly love to chat about why you added that bit, and why it felt necessary, etc. I'm not nearly of your caliber, but I'm always dying to know the 'why' behind author decisions!

(u/l/t/r/a/f/e/n/n/e/c/g/m/a/i/l) remove the extra slashes and add the usual dots and coms and such, and you'll find me.
Icarus Mouse chapter 26 . 11/6/2013
And so ends, with great sadness, the last of the posted chapters.

...And what a foreboding ending as well.
I find the...unfortunate...circumstances of Terrany a very, VERY, dark and depressing turn for this story (While religious genocide is a dark subject matter, torture seems to edge it out...especially this sort of torture.) I had hoped it would not happen in this manner. Especially to Terrany.
But now my concern is this; will she live, without breaking? (I'm humbled by the incredible will she possesses.)
Will she escape her imprisonment, and come to the aid of the shattered Starfox before everything goes 'Pear-shaped?' (If they're not already.)
And if she does escape, how will this affect, and ultimately, change Terrany? Especially the budding romance between her and Rourke? Will this make the Terrany we know, as the strong, capable, fiery and dependent woman into a cold, empty shell of her former self? Unable to trust anyone, to allow anyone come close to her?
And finally, what of Carl? Will he come out of this relatively unscathed, or will the damage be too much for him to clamber back into the cockpit and fight on?

An interesting oversight I've noticed, or maybe it just hasn't come to fruition yet (That seems to happen when I post a review; things get explained the very next chapter...) Is this; What of Hounds' awful feeling from the planet of Cerinia, will there be something to that feeling? Is the planet truly dead, since the Primal scouting party was already wounded by the time the 21st squadron arrived on scene? Will whatever happened there, and Hounds' feeling, show itself and have some sort of affect on future events?

Unfortunately I will have to wait and hope for my answers to be, er...answered, within the next installment. Judging from the length of these chapters (Love that, by the way) and the publish date of this story, it seems a long ways off. I however, am willing to wait as long as it takes for an update! A small part of me hopes it will be relatively soon, though...
I await with bated breath, to know what happens next in Starfox: Sunrise Over Lylat!
Magus523 chapter 26 . 11/2/2013
Feel kind of silly doing this, seeing as I don't have anything to say that you haven't heard already, but what the hell. You know I know where this is going. You know I'm with you on this one.

Give 'em hell, bardman. And to anyone else who's reading this? This is where it REALLY gets going.
Icarus Mouse chapter 11 . 10/31/2013
I still can't believe this...

11 chapters later, the action never lets up, the twists and drops never relent, and to top it all off; what feels like an ending, is anything but! there's still 15 chapters to go! It's like a movie in all its grandeur adventure splendor; a solid first movie, its sequel, and a trilogy all wrapped up in one big package.

Whether this will be explained in later chapters, or was a slight overlook, the appearances of the 'Primals' escapes me; was being non-descriptive with the appearances of the Primals something to let the imagination of the reader's construct for themselves, or will there be more detailed confrontations later? So far, my imagination has pegged them in the same vein of appearance as Brutes (Again, quoting the Halo universe here) albeit with more hair. Or fur. Minor technicalities.

Again, awesome story! off to more chapters!
Derek Barona chapter 26 . 10/31/2013
Going to have to be honest here, I blinked and began finding myself genuinely uncomfortable at the confirmation of...untoward practices during Terrany's interrogation/torture. Yes, I found myself genuinely expecting it to happen during the wait for this chapter, but having it actually confirmed, especially during the early parts of the chapter when there's mention of an order that she was to be kept unharmed, left me with a lead weight feeling in the pit of my stomach for the entire rest of the read.

The entire rest of the chapter is as good as the entire rest of the story has been, don't get me wrong. I've been following this story since it first started, and I'm gonna continue following it because it's a great piece of writing and easily the best Starfox related story I've ever seen. I just have a problem with that one detail, mainly due to a personal aversion to the subject of sexual abuse in general. I doubt anyone else is going to comment on it, so I wanted to put at least my one voice out here as a dissenting opinion. I really enjoy this story, but for a few minutes there, I really think it went too far.

'Course, now it left me hoping Terrany kills Rolfe by ripping his nuts off and making him eat them, but that's probably what everyone's hoping for anyway.
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