|Reviews for Starfox: Sunrise Over Lylat|
| Colyo chapter 12 . 1/11/2010
WOW. I just read everything you have so far cover to cover and I am very impressed. Having spent hours digging through all of the crap in our poor Star Fox section it's a relief to find something this brilliant.
This story is a sterling example of Cliche's done properly. We all knew that the story was leading up to young Mrs. McCloud taking the fight to the invaders under the Star Fox banner, and it was made quite obvious that KIT was Falco, but none of that mattered because I was so distracted by the impressive array of action and a solid plot.
I would like to point out a particular set of strengths; first of which being your space combat scenes. This is something I myself have gone through great pains to master and still fall miles short, but you punch in the standard well by incorporating each pilots personailities into their actions in the air, and not too much reduntant information as to ruin the flow of combat whilst giving us just enough to be able to paint a picture of the battle in our minds. Absolutely stellar.
Secondly, you portray the expected personailities of each character so well. I can just -feel- the traits the descendant characters take from their original character ancestors. This is especially prevalent in Rourke, who comes off as a stunning replica of Wolf but added in the extra impurities that would come with the other parent. Your characters are true descendants and remain true to the legacies of the series.
The last strength I would like to congratulate on is the avoidance to give into the temptation to impurify this amazing plot with unecessary relationships and romances. I almost feared through this book that something was going to happen between Rourke and Terrany that was going to turn this into a mushy romance/action hybrid. While this is certainly plausible, don't get me wrong, you have held it off to after the Star Fox team comes back which I found extremely important as it would have created a distracting side plot that takes away from the wartime effect you have created. Hundreds of other authors would have gone straight into that relationship and have destroyed this story. I cannot say I am myself innocent of unecessary romances (if anything, my story is infamously guilty for it) but it's nice to find a role model for future stories I do to avoid making the same mistakes.
Subscribed, favourited, and added to alerts. You are on my short list of the lords of the StarFox section. Kudos to you, and looking forward to your next update.
| graystripe chapter 12 . 11/16/2009
what a great story..._
| Rob Zeta chapter 12 . 11/14/2009
And to Venom they go...
| MagyarEagle chapter 11 . 10/27/2009
This is by far the best written starfox fanfic ever seen on or anywhere else. Your characters feel realistic, your depictions of tactics believable, and most of all, you have a great sense of how to pull together all of the elements of story into a cohesive whole. 28 reviews is not enough, as this is by far the most believable depiction of what a new starfox team would be like. I cannot wait for the next chapter to this well written and engaging fanfic. I love the technical commentary at the beginning of each chapter, and I love how the new characters are not simply stock characters, but actually fleshed out, and developed. Terrany in particular comes out as a strong lead figure, and I like how she didn't take over the role of leader of the starfox team, and that instead it was Rourke instead. I also like that with the exception of Terrany, none of the pilots are the descendants of the original team. Rourk is descended from one of Fox's enemies, and Wyatt lacks the flying ability of his ancestor. This makes them more than carbon copies of the original characters, and lends an aspect of believability to them. Their reactions-emotionally- are very well done as well, with realistic behavior to new information (such as when Terrany reacted to her grandmother's death with such mixed feelings), and the ground combat made me think back to various war footage I've seen as a historian. Great work and I cannot wait for you to continue this amazing work of fiction!
| Bruce Pendragon chapter 11 . 8/15/2009
Well, still good. A few small criticisms. The bit on Milo's backstory as a sniper seemed a little stretched. It would have been better to have the back-story explained in the next scene, from Milo's point of view, then where it is now. Also, Terrany and Dana's little "let's make a game out of it then," routine seemed a little out of character, even given the team's cocky pilot mentality.
I liked the McCloud family credo. Nice touch there.
The question the reader asks themselves at the end of the chapter is simply "should I feel relieved that the battle was won, or tense because there's nothing preventing another Primal invasion?"
Also, I've come to suspect (not surprisingly) that the Lord of Flames is Andross. And if not Andross, Andrew. I mean, the number of Simians among the primals, their predisposition against Arwings... it all adds up I think. Of course , I'll have to wait for the next chapter to see, won't I?
Anyway, the overall veridct on this chapter is still two thumbs up: five out of five stars for action, four out of five for scientiffic believability, and I'd say four for character exposition. Well done.
| Rob Zeta chapter 11 . 8/2/2009
Wow! No wonder it took you so long.
An excellent read! The action is so easy to image!
Keep it up!
| VENOMDARK please up-to-date chapter 10 . 6/11/2009
please my man is this going to update? this story is so epic
| Arimadios chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
Characters 9/10 - Only because Terrany and Rourke haven't kissed yet. You know it's coming.
Plot: 8/10 - Only becaue it's a little Cliche'd. "Unknown alien force invading the system, oh noez! cornerian battle tactics are poo!"
Combat: 9/10 - The combat is written elegantly, yet sparesly. I personally perfer the realism of a good ole' ground fight, but you paint a picture like a War Movie. "We Were Soldiers" comes to mind - though, I'm more of an Appocalypse Now kind of war buff.
Readability: 10/10 - Small, ignorable typos, or grammatical errors. The story has flow and texture. Much love for it.
I. Need. More. Please oh please oh please. This is bloody frickin WONDERFUL. I need me some more ROurke O'donnell, some more Terrany Lombardi - er, McCloud. Milo is awesome as well - i keep waiting for him to shout, "DO A BARREL ROLL!" Dana seems to be a completely OC Pilot - but she heavily resembles ole Lombardi. Keep it up.
| VENOMDARK i got a question chapter 10 . 5/8/2009
u going to up-to-date on this? just asking
| VENOMDARK call me venom chapter 10 . 4/4/2009
0_0 wow 5/5 my man please update
| Rob Zeta chapter 10 . 3/24/2009
Sorry but I just now noticed this up!
Now I'm gonna have to bite my pillow to wait for the next one.
| T-65X chapter 10 . 3/22/2009
There are so many words to describe this story and I figure out which one is the best. Brilliant. This story is so well written it should be a novel. The dogfight scenes are describe so well, I feel like I am right in the cockpit of an Arwing. You have created unique characters with well developed and distinct personalities. This is such an awesome story and I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Bruce Pendragon chapter 10 . 3/19/2009
What can I say. Magnificent. Terrany's solo flight works well to establish her as the heart and soul of the team, even if she's not in command. Slippy's brief monologue was emotional, and it makes the reader feel like they're fighting right along with the Cornerian defenders. I was a little caught off cguard by Falco being "the Greatest Pilot of the Lylat Wars," but author's license I suppose.
I also was glad to see the comment about Corneria's militarization of the system. I'd often wondered about a game series where the "good guys" seemed to be a military dictatorship.
And of course, the last two sentences. I nearly got myself thrown out of this library computer lab by shouting "YES!" when I read that.
There were two or three sentences with some subject/verb agreement problems, plural/singular and vice versa, but I can't quite remember where. It's a testament to your storyweaving that I passed them by anyway.
| Emperor Andross chapter 10 . 3/15/2009
You probably won't believe me when I say that I thought Kit sounded more like Falco from the very start, though I must confess I did think that maybe it was Fox after the previous chapter...
beautifully written, it perhaps would have been a little more dramatic to split the chapter up into two, but all in all great.
Looks like things in this story are coming to a head, unless you're planning to cover the taking back of the rest of the Lylat system; though personally I'd prefer to see that in a sequel rather than a continuation of this story. Not that I think you'll stop, but make sure that you continue to build the backstory, its great to see how you've shaped the system 100 years down the track; and how it's different to the one we all know from the games...
I thought that that last section of the chapter was especially beautiful; it was cinematic imagining the mammoth ship emerging from it's warp and blasting the enemy carrier to shreds, followed by the Arwings launching. It almost brought a tear to the eye... KEEP IT UP!
| Magus523 chapter 10 . 3/14/2009
You know, considering I don't read the genre all that much, I love crazy dogfight stunts like the ones in the tail end of this entirely too much. And the final scene had me grinning from ear to ear. Nice work.