|Reviews for Map of Stars|
| asm chapter 1 . 3/6
a dark & moody story- even when al discovers what he wants & gets it- it doesn't seem to be very happy. it was fascinating & interesting & entertaining to read. thanks 4 sharing
| TheDragonWalks chapter 1 . 2/23/2012
bro. bro. brrrooooo.
I signed in just for you. Definetley an under appreciated fanfic. Needed a teensy bit more Elricest. Fantastic job though
| Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare chapter 1 . 8/2/2010
oh, wow. this was lengthy and impactful; amazing job! i loved this. :3
| Misha chapter 1 . 9/19/2008
Fucking sad but so heartbreakingly beautiful. I really, loved it. I think your a brilliant writer and I was amazed at how you seemed to have captured the lingering sadness. The change and unfamiliar and familiar scents, and places, and faces. xo
| luciume chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
Wow. That was amazing. I can obviously tell this must of taken some thought...and it paid off. This was wonderful, very realistic for these two. It was incredible. I have nothing more to say...you took everything slow, and described there attraction in a unique way which is a huge plus. Great, very long one shot. I'll be adding this to my favorites :) You're a good writer.
| xobsidianx chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
wow. dark and provocative. so good.
| Summer Ann chapter 1 . 3/20/2008
That's what I have to say!
That was the best piece of Elricest fanfic I've ever read. Honestly; I loved it. It really was great.
No words to describe it.
| Makayla chapter 1 . 3/11/2008
I was looking through my review history and I read my review to this an realised how much of a noob I sound. Many apologies, its just I was feeling rather incoherent at the time.
Still this story is really amazing, and I'm so happy to have stumbled across it. The characterisation was fantastic and the way you expressed Al's turmoil, fear and wants was masterful. I loved the way you showed his longing for his brother, and how that translated itself into a more sexual way.
I also loved the morning-after, with Ed's shame and guilt against Al's more naive outlook.
The way you weaved the story between them, focusing more on the actual relationship than the sex, is something to be noted. The narrative fit perfectly and the focus on the relationship gave the story more depth and the characters more intimate.
I think one of my most favourite lines is: "I wish you’d kiss me again, brother"- I think it just summed up Al's naivety and longing in that sentence, and the subsequent conversation was an excellent drama piece between the two.
But I also liked the part where he takes a drag of Ed's cigarette, and how you described why he did it and paced out the metaphor.
When Al scratches his nails across his neck is also well done. Unlike so many similar situations in other stories, it doesn't feel fake, or rehearsed, or even depressing. It's almost absent-minded, like he's not realising he's doing it even as he does it, and just reads as a sort of breakout of tension. It sounds more like he's getting relief from it than in stories where its explicitly expressed that there is relief gained from the action. Also, the fact that its in a place like the neck adds to the realism- somewhere hidden and secret- plus the fact that he keeps touching it. It's like he's remembering what he did, and the way it made him feel, with a small sense of pride.
Finally, I'd like to mention the way you showed their journey, starting with putting distance between them right at the very beginning. I loved the way you pushed them apart at the night with the gypsies, where Al watches his brother and realise he's changed, almost like a stranger. This makes Al seem even lonelier and sets the tone perfectly for the rest of the piece, until its resolved at the end. I loved the ending, hope and angst and an unspoken wish for the future mixed together with the healing between the brother's broken bond.
A gorgeous story- I really hope you write more like it!
P.S. Sorry for any typos, I'm in somewhat of a rush XD
| Makayla chapter 1 . 2/18/2008
Holy F*ck. I wish I knew what to say about this but I really really don't. Just know that this story is f*cking amazing and don't let /anyone/ tell you otherwise
| Good Evening chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
I will fucking PRAY to you if I ever get writer's block.
| Mirage chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
Brilliant. It read like a sad truth. I can see this all playing out and that's as disappointingly disheartening as it is a comfort.
| RocketPAPrika chapter 1 . 12/20/2007
AWESOME! but the ending made me feel sad (
| lotesseflower chapter 1 . 12/9/2007
This is a really beautiful piece, especially in the way that it slides from wholeness to fracture and back again, and in what it does with Hohenheim. Lovely.
| fuyu-no-tsuki chapter 1 . 10/9/2007
That was so good! And so sad it made me want to cry. This is one of the best stories I've read in a while.
| Kitsune Alchemist chapter 1 . 9/23/2007
Umm... Wow... thats all I really can say here. That was really, really good. Usually, I don't read much Elricest, but this story caught my eye anyways, and I'm really glad that I read it. Thank you for writing this!