|Reviews for Icha Icha Paradise Collection Book 2: Vacation|
| Just some guy chapter 1 . 1/27/2009
Wow. I gotta be completely honest. That is not how I expected Naruto to bring Sasuke back to the leaf...
| Wawfer chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
*evil grin* I think you did pretty good
| Hatake Sienna chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
For a first time three some that was not bad. I enjoyed it and the dialogue was just fine -
| getoverit chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
All in all this was a very . . . enjoyable story. There are a few pieces of constructive critisism that I would like to offer:
1. Using the pussy is a bit of a turn-off. Really, it's only used by immature children, and means either a cat, or a guy who seriously needs to grow some balls.
2. Your sentences are a kinda short and choppy. I know this may sound very english teacher, but I reccomend using colons and semi-colons more often: your an amazingt author, I'm sure you could get away with it easily.
and Lastly: The way Sasuke just sort of showed up at the end in a beach house wasn't very realistic. I mean, in this world, yes, but unless this story is based in an AU, than you need to change the setting a bit. Why not a small Japanese-style hut near a natural hot spring? It would definately(srry 4 spelling) be much more ninja-y.
P.S. JDay: If you threw up in your mouth, than you shouldn't be reading porn. Seriously
| Xhin chapter 1 . 2/29/2008
Well, first off, I can see the level in talent increased quite a bit since the first book. This story kept its flow consistant, and had a sense of subtelty all at the same time. It, in all honesty, was a bit forced. What I mean by that is, in each scene there was something to do with sex, even with the kage, which is a bit much, but still fine. I like how it brings you into the story. Naruto simply walking into the village is enough to draw me in, hence you don't try too hard. The heat in the hall way was a stroke of gold as well, but still not as good as having a person like Shizune interupting them. I took the next scene, involving the kage and Shizune as a joke. It seemed like a joke added into the story, with no real explanation or boundaries. It was just there, which is fine.
You managed to add an entire scene with Naruto and Sakura having sex completely. That was very entertaining, but it seems like it was meant to be sort of a cross track from the real plot of this chapter, which was the vacation. It seemed like the Naruto and Sakura played the main role, and took up space that could've been used for the final and focused part, which is the threesome. However, the threesome was quite arousing. The way you managed to pay equal attention to three different characters at once seemed like a hard task, but you pulled it off. I could almost feel what I was reading, and I imagine that's what you were going for. There are no real noticable flaws, but all the same the ending still seemed just a little bit rushed. Not entirely though. In the story, I could understand Sakura wanting to do a threesome, but the part where Naruto and Sasuke just sort of stared at each other baffled me. It seems like a reunion between those two would involve more yelling or happiness, instead of immediate sexual intentions. All in all, this one is probably my favorite so far. And although I usually hate stories that involve two guys (especially some of my favorite characters), this one was pulled off quite well, and it involved Sakura too, so I'm satisfied.
Review: On a scale of 1-10, this story scored a... 9!
| PimpNamedSlick chapter 1 . 12/31/2007
I think I threw up in my mouth.
| spazzgirl chapter 1 . 11/29/2007
holy crap i almost got a nosebleed from reading this
| MissLoveBug chapter 1 . 10/21/2007
that was soo naughty yet soo good ..lol
| Musette The Vampire chapter 1 . 9/26/2007
man,i'm like so effing horny now.-wipes nosebleed-that was very very good.
| L my secret lover chapter 1 . 9/17/2007
god i love threesomes but they only work with 2 guys
| loveherleilani chapter 1 . 9/16/2007
That was one of the most amazing fanfictions I have ever read! I loved it! To the favorites list! _
| CrystalICE1 chapter 1 . 9/15/2007
DAMN THAT WAS SOME THREESOME GOODNESS _! *wipes nosebleed*
| C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only chapter 1 . 9/14/2007
Meh, not bad! Could use another chappie!
| Bruce-kun chapter 1 . 9/14/2007
gays stuff sucks
| NilName chapter 1 . 9/14/2007
That was so hot! :D
That's good work.