Reviews for Unspoken
Raine Wintermoon chapter 1 . 10/9/2015
I can't explain as to why I love this. Maybe it's your writing, clean and no room for errors. Maybe it's the flow of the story and your character portrayals, natural and simple without needing to exaggerate on both elements. Maybe it's the subtle way of Ryoma and Sakuno's relationship (platonic and romantic in a sense) in words, and yet there's enough room to know what's happening between them. Maybe it's the way you've written Ryoma with his moment of concern and insecurity pertained to Sakuno while still looking normal, a bit of a showoff at that, outside of his thoughts; he was a boy who wanted to impress a girl at that moment and when he did, he would appreciate her reaction. Or maybe it's the way you've written Sakuno, quiet and very much of a girl who both idolized and was attracted to a boy, who showed this with simple actions which Ryoma appeared to have understood.

Seriously, I can't explain why. You had me blown away and now I'm blabbing. I love every inch of this, most especially Ryoma's portrayal (and his birthday greeting through the tennis ball was a nice touch to his no-nonsense yet could-careless attitude on a par to the original series). I like how you incorporated his thoughts (in particular, his admittance to being timid as Sakuno when she's around him and then his appreciation to her positive reaction when he's showing off) that could fall in place to his canon self in the series. (I've always wondered why he hid his face under the brim of his cap in canon; was he embarrassed? Shy? Felt like he's too cool to show his expressions to others? Or wanted to be mysterious?)

"Great job" doesn't even cut it! You're awesome, I'll tell you that. Instant fave. Sorry for the long review though — I'm honestly blown away by your story! There's so much more than to it, if one delved deeper. This needs more reviews, seriously.
Guest chapter 1 . 9/13/2015
Cute *grinning*
SheWhoLeavesCrappyReviews chapter 1 . 5/28/2013
Favorited. This was a nice read, it's not overly- romantic and you kept them in character. Its simplicity just makes it more awesome.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
So sweet! I want to know what happen next! Continue please
PynkPlayar chapter 1 . 12/27/2011
Thank you for the nice read. I actually really enjoyed this. The interpretation of Ryoma's haracter was very refreshing. Would love to see you do a longer piece with a similiar Ryoma characterization.

Keep writing!
Jerui chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
aw, i want more! :)
Cinpii chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
Kudos on such a nicely written fic. I really enjoyed it. One, you kept them in character. Two, it had just the right amount of hints, you know? Like, there's something there. We know it, Ryoma knows it, and maybe Sakuno knows it, but it's not explicit, and it's up to the reader to imagine. Argh, I don't think I conveyed that very well, but anyways, I liked this quite a bit. Especially Ryoma's thoughts, and this part right here: "Nope, he liked her just the way she was, staring at him." Cute doesn't even begin to describe it. And I can't forget three, no jarringly bad grammar or syntax. All that equals a slam dunk into my C2. I'm so glad that I took a chance on this fic. Hopefully we'll see more RyoSaku from you. )
iza chapter 1 . 6/19/2011
cute how nice!
LollipopLawliet chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
Cute! :)

I like it when Ryoma makes a move out of his own motivation! :)

Kawaii ne?

Aura Jade chapter 1 . 3/21/2009
cute :)
BlackDove of Blessings chapter 1 . 12/6/2007
This is so cute, are you going to write more?

Please say you are. I can't wait to find out what happens.

CupcakeGoodness101 chapter 1 . 10/25/2007
Aw! How cute! _
Olivine chapter 1 . 10/8/2007
I haven't read a fic where Ryoma was the insecure one in long time. Yay for you! I thought it was a very sweet story in general, but that last sentence was gorgeous. My only suggestion for it would be maybe instead of "From a dark corner, a boy watched in wonder...", you should write, "From around the corner, a boy watched..." That way, it makes it seem more like he's just watching over her than like, from an depressing rainy minicloud of doom... or something.

You know what I mean?

I also loved how you mentioned how Inui actualled marked 5.2 cm on the wall just to spite Ryoma. That was clever. And when he heard Tomoka, his hit was affected.

Um... I'm scanning over the story again.. The line where you wrote, "The tennis ball struck the line on the wall squarely. A blasphemy!" I don't think blasphemy fits in there correctly. Or maybe it does, and I'm just not understanding.

Anyway, nice story, (I sadly had no idea 9/14 was Sakuno's birthday) thanks for the read! :)
sanchan18 chapter 1 . 9/23/2007
Kyaa!I loved it! I'm adding it to my favs right now _ Thank u so much!
shea-chan chapter 1 . 9/21/2007
KYaahh! Love it! The story is great...

However, you should still try to separate dialogues...

eg. "text text text text text text," text text text text text text text. text text text text text "text text text text text," text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text.

Why not this?

"text text text," text text. text text text text.

text text text "text text text."

just a suggestion i guess... because(for me) the way you separated paragraphs seems boring for the readers to read it. They may be able to continue reading on. Do you get what i mean? It's just my suggestion anyways...

Well...good luck to your fic! God bless!


Shea-chan desu.
25 | Page 1 2 Next »