|Reviews for Nightingale|
| Coins In A Jar chapter 15 . 11/28/2008
This reads like Itachi implanted a derivative of the Mangekyou in Neji's eyes, and now instead of producing genjutsu or fire as an Uchiha would the eyes have adapted that power to the Jyuuken and fire chakra.
Neji's eyes have been cracking open, developing pupils? No wonder he's in so much pain. I wonder how he ended up with such a fighting style, just bastardising the Jyuuken style into something more efficient shouldn't have such a medley effect. Unconscious copying from his new Sharingan perhaps?
Fantastic chapter as always, very nice writing style with descriptions of any sort being THE selling point. Dramatic without being cheesy, a rare talent...
Thanks for the update.
| thisgirlscribes chapter 15 . 11/28/2008
This was awesome. And man, but you can write fight scenes.
| SnickyPop chapter 15 . 11/28/2008
What's up with Neji's eyes?
Haha. I love your Kakashi. He is hilarious. I can't get over him. The way you portray him...lol.
I'm a bit confused with the layout of the chapter, but I think that's just because I can't really remember a bunch of little bits and pieces of the story right now. :) It's been awhile since I've read this story. .
| Ottokatalog chapter 15 . 11/28/2008
I didn't enjoy this chapter as much as earlier chapters, to be honest, but that may be because it lacks a proper conclusion. You have a pretty mean cliffhanger and I feel like something is missing here. The action-scenes did, in my opinion, not live up to their standart, most interaction appeared to be rather fruitless, the pretty important plotturns in the previous chapter wasn't really adressed, the "storyadvance" consisted more of explaining.
Is it just me or did only one thing happen in this chapter?
However, I can't say I didn't enjoy it at all. I like your writing-style; it's very captivating, and I couldn't see any glaring errors in neither spelling nor grammar (Cheers to your Beta!). I also liked the portrayal of your characters, especially the scene between Genma an Kakashi.
One more thing I'd like to say: You made us wait to long :/. Yeah, I know that's a rather selfish thing to say, but I sometimes wondered if you just dropped dead without further notice. But that cannot be changed, can it? Other things just take the priority over this.
So then, keep up the work!
Looking forward reading more,
| Rosa Lui chapter 15 . 11/28/2008
Lols, I knew the thief was Neji.
Great story, I love the Sharingan/Byakugan thing.
But please... god, Konoha's already had and emo jerk leave their big happy family... PLEASE have Neji come back... eventually... and at least SORT of happy! :(
| IVIaedhros chapter 15 . 11/27/2008
Entertaining, as always, though I'm confused at the apparent jump in this chapter. Also, give your spelling/grammar another once over.
| Anonymous chapter 15 . 11/27/2008
Dude! That was intense! The fight scenes were really good! Can't wait for the aftermath!
| Gina Ichimaru's girl chapter 15 . 11/27/2008
so neji finally has both of his parents bloodlines active huh. I hope to kami that orochimaru doesn't use nejhi as his next vessel if he does all hell is gonna break loose. all hell is gonna break loose when they realize just who stole that scroll. It is great to see you back though and I love how you name your chapters it's very original and i've never seen anyone else do that. I've got two questions though. the why you described neji's eyes their the sharingan with a white backround or are they white with the sharingan showing through from the backround? Sorry I'm trying to picture them but i'm a litle lost. Also does he have the ability to shut down the sharingan or was that only because Kakashi was surprised?
Till next time
| Sumbril chapter 15 . 11/27/2008
I'm pretty damn sure I've never told you how much I love the hell out of this fic. This chapter was so awesome and /Neji/. Oh this made my day, thank you so much. Good luck with college. *_*
| Beboots chapter 15 . 11/27/2008
Thank you very, very much for updating! :D
But man, that entire first scene... D: I loved the dialogue, the description, Neji and Kabuto's characterization... I want to quote the entire thing back at you and say "there, I loved THAT". :3
"what remained of Team Guy" Gah! ;_; That description just got me... ;_; Also, the last line in that scene, about "only a handful of people" and the Hyuuga branch family... Very good. :3
"Hiashi let the thief do this without raising the alarm because he wanted to know what he was after." So... badass... :3
"The thief shifted and raised his hands in a posture remarkably like Juuken. He held himself too loosely, his hands too relaxed, his balance off-kilter, but it was a close mimicry, enough to be insulting." Very... VERY cool. :D The description of this mystery fighter is simply awesome. :3
"Every Hyuuga is taught the history of the seal.”/“That’s a bit fucked up.” So... true... XD “No. I’m not playing into your game. I’m more than aware of the fact my clan lies." I loved that line. :3 Seriously.
Also, this was a very badass and in-character line: "He didn’t turn his head to meet the other ninja’s gaze, he didn’t need to anymore, true Hyuuga habit." I love being reminded of things like that.
Ooh... and there comes a reference to the title! :D But MAN Takon is harsh... you did a good job with making him horrifying. D:
“Kakashi, you bastard, there’s an enemy-nin attacking the Hyuuga estate –”/“Well, that’s not very smart of him…” Normally so true... XD "Tsunade just gave him a look, the kind known to splinter men’s souls (Kakashi was okay, his soul was of a particularly hardy sort)" I love your Kakashi... and your Tsunade. Seriously. I was immensely amused when Kakashi was all like “Oh, you mean –?” XD So... awesome...
But man, once Kakashi gets going... XD I love how he was tracking the mystery thief with his eye... :3 Awesome descriptions, man...
Okay, so I totally wasn't sure who the theif was at first - Neji, Sasuke, or some other person... But I LOVE how it turned out to be Neji! :D After rereading the scene, I could pick out the hints - the seals over the eyes, the fact that Kakashi notices that he fights like Gai... I mean, it was awesome that he could just walk into his own house unarmed, unrecognized, and totally take down anybody who came after him... :3 I actually really, really didn't expect it to be him... XD I really do wonder if Kakashi's connected the dots, though, that it was Neji...
“They lied to us.” He vanished inside the compound, darkness engulfing him as he did. “Again.” So... awesome... :3
So please, please, please update again soon! :D This is seriously getting more awesome by the chapter... :3 Rock on, and keep up the good work!
| Violet Shadows chapter 15 . 11/27/2008
Nice, liked the part with Kakashi, you captured him well.
| Rosa Lui chapter 14 . 11/15/2008
This is amazing - Neji is perfectly portrayed. I just... I'm not even asking for redemption for Sasuke at this point (he's being such a little evil twat!) but please, please - let Neji come out of this... okay. Or sort of like how he comes out of "Mistake" - furious and hurting and broken, but still pushing forward, still with enough fight left to heal and get better and come out stronger on the other side!
| femmejp chapter 14 . 11/3/2008
Well I would like to write a review for every single chapter you have written here for I have read them dozens of time and I always keep finding new and interesting things.
This has been one of the best Neji fics I have seen in a while. Neji-centered one that is, the character is so wonderfully written and feels extremely as if it were canon almost.
I always knew there were some nasty things done to poor Neji with that seal, and now you tell us exactly what happens in that clan behind closed doors.
Kabuto, Kabuto could he be more evil and adorable at the same time? He looks after Neji, but at the same time no? Poor Neji.
I really feel for Neji, but I have no idea why I love reading how you make him suffer chapter after chapter...
Please update soon.
| apathetica chapter 14 . 11/2/2008
freaking EPIC. byaku!sharin!haxor mixture kill EVERYONE. so the curse seal also prevents him from using/manifesting the sharingan or the bastardization of it... is this going to cause brain damage?
Poor neji... but i can't wait for more itachi-mind-rape. Does that make me a bad person?
Awesome story- totally deserves more reviews/attention.
| apathetica chapter 13 . 11/2/2008
the interlude was excellent. Your shisui is EPIC. Hanabi being neji's little half sister makes sense and is an excellent plot twist.
I still don't get how the story of the hyuuga and the sand clans makes itachi snap- nor why the half-uchiha hyuugas escaped itachi's purge.
I hope you go into that later on!
This story is made of WIN.