|Reviews for Nightingale|
| Dayadhvam chapter 6 . 10/21/2007
You characterize Kabuto VERY well. I doubt I could pull it off half as well as you do. :) Of course Kabuto would want to examine how the Cage Seal functions. It's really quite chilling, in a way, how he tosses off the most disturbing things while still looking very much the pleasant and mild-mannered medic.
The hair-line fractures in the Byakugan come, I assume, from his use of that chakra-gun jutsu thing he performed in the last chapter? :) I liked your explanation of the Byakugan. One thing though-during the explanation, I noticed a tendency to switch between tenses. For example: "Byakugan could therefore function in any lighting because it does not rely on normal light to see." "Could" would be in past tense ("can" would be present tense), while "does" is in present tense. I'd recommend that you go over the explanation and change the tenses all to past tense, because then it matches with the past tense of Neji's actions and thoughts, i.e. "A Byakugan needed that secondary lens. It was this lens that prevented a Hyuuga from going blind... " etc. Not that this grammatical stuff has any particular bearing on how utterly enjoyable your fic is :), but it was just a little jarring for me when I was reading it.
The lessons... Itachi was imparting advice or something when they met? Or perhaps I'm on the wrong track entirely? If it is Itachi, though, it's curious that he names emotion as a strength, when from what we've seen of his behavior he seems quite emotionless. Well, besides his talent for screwing with Sasuke's mind, in which he seems to engage wholeheartedly. :P
Aw, Hinata and Hanabi! I love how Neji uses them as a sort of mental lifeline. The "he" Neji refers to in "I will not do what he wants!"-Itachi again? The emphasis on Hinata and Hanabi's humanity was quite touching. :)
"Neji pointedly threw it in the trash because, stylish or not, he could recognize a stupid piece of wardrobe when it crossed him." - and "It wasn't like his job description hadn't come with the clause: May or may not be captured, tortured and dissected for the sake of enemy-nin science. Please sign on lines 3, 4, and 18." Morbid humor-the sardonicism kills with its awesomeness! :) And it fits the situation, and Neji, very well.
Kabuto comparing Neji to the Sound Five-oh ho ho, also a very good of putting Neji off balance, I suppose. Kabuto is pretty good at the mental manipulation, isn't he?
Sasuke: "You're doing a poor job hiding that Hyuuga from me." Hmm... this implies that Sasuke wants to see Neji and KabutoOrochimaru don't want Sasuke to talk to Neji? Is it because Neji mentioned Itachi? And of course Sasuke wants to go after Itachi and kill him, but Orochimaru doesn't want his vessel to go... am I reading too much into one sentence? :P
This chapter was love, as usual. Looking forward to the next! :)
| TheWatcherandReader chapter 6 . 10/20/2007
You might want to check Wikipedia for what information it has on the Byakugan. Oh, you've got some good ideas, but they are a few things that are somewhat incorrect. Keep on updating.
| Ami chapter 6 . 10/20/2007
Eep! Cliffhanger! I'm really exited to see where you are going with this plot.
| dustbowls chapter 6 . 10/20/2007
Great explanation of the Byakugan. I also love the fierce loyalty and love/hate thing that Neji has for his privileged cousins. It's so tiring when excellent writers make their relationship one that involves incest, when it's so much more complex and realistic this way.
I DON'T CARE IF YOUR OTHER STORIES ARE NOT GETTING LOVE. FINISH THIS ONE. XD
Sasuke is almost...cool. There are so few writers who can make him cool, nowadays.
| serenphoria chapter 6 . 10/20/2007
This is nothing short of amazing. Your way with words is electifyingly visceral and your characterizations are refreshingly real. Don't apologize for rationalizing the psychology/biology of the Narutoverse - it's one of the strengths of your writing and grounds your story in reality. I'm really at a loss as to where this story is going, but I am intrigued (hooked) and look forward to more.
I must go read Secondhand Faith now, because I want to live to see your next chapter!
| Lellian chapter 6 . 10/20/2007
You completely won me over this chapter when you mentioned Neji clinging to Hinata's humanity because he couldn't trust his own - I think, in essence, that just about sums up my view on the relationship between those two. The mental imagery of that is just...beautiful.
Neji's finally in Sound! *Cheers* And though, as you know, my Soundie love holds its place with the Sound Four (Five) I'm happy all the same. Mostly because, in this chapter, their ghosts abound. I loved the mental picture I had of Neji touching something Kidoumaru had touched all those years ago. Displacement of time and all that.
His distaste for comparing his own allies with Kabuto also enchanted me. It blurred the line a little bit more between enemies and friends - a reminder that, at base, they're all human.
Just humans with freaky skills.
Speaking of freaky skills and, apeaking as a student who wants to read Biology at university, can I say yay for scientific and optical knowledge? Cones and rods! A feasible description of the mechanics involved within the Byakugan! You get love just for that. So much love.
And you're challenging me to a fic-pimp war, yo. You're going to lose. Badly. *Cue evil laughter.*
My favourite chapter so far - keep them coming!
| HyuugaNejilover chapter 5 . 10/20/2007
Wow.. that's all I can say O.o. Wow!
| Naitachal666 chapter 5 . 10/19/2007
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. For once, a writer who can write an honest to whatever deity fight scene. A beautiful ending to chapter five. Great depth of insight. Made my day. Night, to be technical. Hard to tell which. But yes, I would be absolutely pleased to see another chapter of this come out. I would, quite indeed.
(Sorry if I sound a raving lunatic. Insomnia can do that to you. Just look at Gaara.)
| Drake-Azathoth chapter 5 . 10/15/2007
Must agree with the other reviewers. 'Itachi says 'Hi''. Hilarious. That was an awesome fight scene, one of the best I've read. Now I'm vastly curious as to what Orochimaru's plans for Neji are... And if Itachi prepared a surprise for him too.
And the 'hatred' thing? Creepy. I'm also wondering what the deal is with Neji's arms. Something is up when even the younger Uchiha comments on such.
| Anti-Nostalgic chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
I enjoy the mindless violence! Keep it up! _
| TheWatcherandReader chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
Oh, fun. Keep on updating.
| Ami chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
This chapter was AMAZING. I can't count how many times I squirmed, gasped, squeaked, or clapped my hands. Usually I'm not a big fan of fight scenes, but I read every single word and got chills. You have an amazing way with words that makes the scene both painfully real and hilarious. Oh wow, I can't even describe what a pleasure it was to read this chapter. Thank you!
| Dayadhvam chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
Haha, I liked this chapter. :) Your description of the fight is really good; usually, authors write something along the lines of, "He feigned a punch, ducked, got struck in the face and fell over." You've obviously thought the scene out really well; Neji's eye-gun technique (or whatever it's supposed to be called) was really quite awesome! :) By the "he" Neji's thinking of, that's Itachi, right?
"You’re going to kill, Uchiha Sasuke?" Is that just a misplaced comma? I was under the impression Neji was thinking in astonishment to himself, "You're going to kill Sasuke? Like, how'd this happen?" :P
"Itachi says 'hi.'" You've had beautiful diction and phrasing throughout the chapter, but this one sentence was the one that really stuck out to me. I think I started laughing when I read it; it sounds so *flippant*, in comparison to the situation. :D
Looking forward to the next chapter :)
| dustbowls chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
I don't think sound effects really translate well into words, and so I shall spare you my first reaction. It would only disturb you.
Such a good chapter. Brilliant. And I love the way Neji gets to verbally bite his thumb at Sasuke, even though the Uchiha just won't die. And really, the action sequence was amazing. I could never write something like that.
| Lellian chapter 5 . 10/14/2007
Dude. DUDE. (See the lack of eloquence I've been reduced to?)
I guffawed at the idea of just what Neji's face would look like if he knew Sasuke compared his fighting style to a microwave. In fact, the first third or so of this I found extremely damn amusing because of the wry way in which you narrated it. It made my inner dead-pan appreciation fanclub happy.
Hell, your story just generally makes me happy. This is, quite officially, one of the best fight scenes I've ever read. Ever.
And Neji? Of COURSE using your eyes like chakra machine guns is gonna hurt. Geez. (But please don't be too incapacitated in the next chapter - I'd hate to lose you now.)
Nice to know that I'm not the only one the site's being pesky for. I'm now off to see if I can (finally) upload some Team Gai stuff.
To the next chapter! *Bows*