Reviews for The Downside of Immortality
excessivelyperky chapter 1 . 4/4
If this was on Twitter, you'd have to give it a #harshtag.

Seriously. This was stranger than Hitler and the refrigerator full on pineapples in LITTLE NICKY.

And I'm sure Hermione has considered the vapor problem. A Muggle vacuum cleaner ought to do the trick...
Tom chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Genius work.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
genius work.
Bladre MKT chapter 1 . 12/16/2012
oh yay second round! again and again and again!
NikiSpade chapter 1 . 11/9/2012
This story wowed write great but this story is twisted shit,after i was like 'fuck'.I hope you keep typing twisted or not i find myself liking it.0/o
typechrome chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
This is probably one of my favorite Harry Potter Fics. I love how you combine the flaws of immortality and revenge. Despite this fic being morbid and quite dark, the humor and irony is pleasant. Insane Hermione is really interesting to read.
Harry Uchiha Potter chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
revenge has never made me so happy. i was cheering on harry and hermione all the way and now that they have voldie again it just makes it that much more sweeter. then i feel sick for what they had to go through to get to this stage
Jazmingirl chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
I like this universe I know is perverse but in a way i can see that happening them having that relationship
FaerysWing chapter 1 . 11/3/2010
Well, I think hinting at the long torture with a few glimpses make this fic all the more horrifying!
raka chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
wow.. I think this is the first story I read with a broken Voldie...

Love your series...
xBloodSplatter chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
Oh man this is hilarious. What a beautifully fantastic story. This is quite the fap material.
jrath chapter 1 . 7/9/2010
Wow. That is some pretty gross shit... nice work.
CannotAdmitIEnjoyThisFanfic chapter 1 . 12/27/2009
This is amazing. It's so twisted, and so horrible, and so terribly graphic, and yet it retains this tiny bit of humor, which, set against the *evil dark creepiness*, makes the darks darker and the humor brighter. Lines like "Voldemort cursed the day he had ever heard of Horcruxes" are mildly amusing taken out of context, but this is so much more meaningful because you *know* the backstory. You *know* why he hates Horcruxes now. *But it's funny anyway.* Which is why I can't admit to liking this fanfic in public, because most people will probably only see the torture aspect and not the delicate sheen of black comedy.

Brilliance indeed, good sir. Please update "Mirror Crack'd," please - I prefer your light comedy over the dark creepiness, if only because I'm a comedienne at heart.
VanillaSlash chapter 1 . 6/22/2009
*Grimaces* Well, immortality isn't for everyone... But then, jokes probably need to be timed to something lighter than this. o" Deep, dark stuff, of course. The psychology behind it all is fasinating stuff!
pstibbons chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
Every bit of conscience in my body screams that not even Voldemort deserves this. Thank Merlin you're not listening to my conscience.

Best lines:

the Dark Lord realized that thirteen years of agony without a body was nothing compared to what Potter was inflicting on him at that moment. It took days of unimaginable pain for Voldemort to die. In the end, Potter had expelled the Dark Lord from his body for the second time.

“Blood of the enemy willingly given,” the witch said with passion. “You will resurrect our plaything!”

The mudblood laughed uproariously at the word “plaything.” At that moment, as if on cue, Potter stepped out from behind the throne. The warm liquid of Voldemort’s piss trickled down his leg.

And even though Voldemort had created the thing that was now Potter, the boy had exceeded the Dark Lord in his cruelty.

“I don’t think we repaid you enough last time for what you did to us.”

“Is that why you became such a backstabbing bastard? Because you’ve got a miniscule pecker?”Her smile slowly changed into an exaggerated pout, “I’m sorry, Peter, but that just won’t do. It’s not the correct size to teach Voldemort a proper lesson about pain.”

Voldemort knew it was pointless to beg; and he had every intention not to give his tormenters the satisfaction. But his resolve vanished when the offending weapon ripped into him. He screamed in agony and collapsed to the floor. The blood flowed from his destroyed anus and poured down his legs. As the fire of pain raged through his body, Voldemort sobbed pathetically, “Please. Please, stop.”

Clapping her hands together rapidly, she cheered; “This is going to be so much fun!”

She hopped over to Potter and spoke excitedly. “Rip his manhood off! No, no, break his fingers! No, wait! Bite his ears off!”

It was as if Granger was a little child on her birthday and couldn’t decide on what activity they should do first on her special day.

“I know, I know; take the stick out of his bottom and shove it down his throat!” she continued. “Oh, no, wait. I know, ram your thumbs into his eyes first!”

“And just think, Tommy, once you die – which won’t be for a while; I mean we’re prepared – we have loads of healing potions to keep you alive for days and days and days,” Granger said as she twirled in a circle happily. “We’ll just have Wormtail lob off another piece of his body to resurrect you and we can do this all over again! And again! And again!”

As Potter pried his victim’s skin from his ribs, Voldemort cursed the day he had ever heard of Horcruxes.
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