|Reviews for Failed Mission|
| Red One1223 chapter 1 . 12/13/2007
I always wonder what they would do when they failed a mission. Just some grammer errors and I think that's all I can think of that's wrong...
| Agent BA-07 Sun chapter 1 . 10/20/2007
It was verry funny. I espescially liked the "why does everyone assume that I had a bad childhood?" part of Spin's line. That cracked me up.
Some constructive criticism, though: some of the people's lines sounded dry and kind of odd. You should read over them and think how the reader will understand them. The reader isn't stupid, but s/he does not want to have to read over something a whole bunch of times. Check your spelling.
Also, the character's dialouge made it seemed like they were overly trying to be politically correct. ("Black" is an okay word. You will not be arrested for calling a black person black.) You have to realize that J, Spin, and Morris can be MEN and silly. (I don't know about Cheiftan or Derek, I think it would be okay to keep them more serious.)
Other than that, it was a very good oneshot. I lok forward to seeing more stuff like this from you soon.
| eliasbloodmoon chapter 1 . 9/26/2007
I liked. Sure, a few missing commas, but overall, the concept of the Agents actually messing up a mission in a fic and giving a good explination why is great.