|Reviews for Tales of Trinity|
| Tamachi chapter 23 . 11/1/2010
This is good! I read this all in one day, but i had to stop at chapter 23...boohoo...
I noticed you haven't updated in a long time. Will you please update and complete this story? It's the best story I've read in a long time!
| WolfspiritSD chapter 1 . 9/5/2010
wow... It's been a while since I last read this story. It's, what, about the fourth time I've read this.
I noticed you haven't updated since last year... I hope you're not giving up on this one. It's AMAZING!
Please update soon!
| Gones chapter 23 . 3/4/2010
Update please... I love your story! :D
| extherian chapter 1 . 2/12/2010
I must congratulate you for writing the most innovative and original story in Crystal Chronicles fanfiction. Your idea is a relatively simple one-the myrrh is running out, forcing the Trinity caravanners to seek out the Meteor Parasite and destroy it once and for all-yet it works brilliantly. Do you know what the main problem with Crystal Chronicles fanfition is? It's too predictable. Go to River Belle Path, fight boss, go to Mushroom Woods, fight boss, go to Mine of Cathruges...etc, etc. We all know what happens, we've played the games ourselves, and the story usually ends up being a mundane journey from Myrrh Tree to Myrrh Tree. And yet, the one problem all authors face is this: Why would the caravanners risk everything in a desperate struggle to free the world of miasma when they could just continue safely along their journey? You, however, answer this question perfectly; Because the tribes will be wiped out by miasma if they don't.
Your characters themselves are brilliant creation. They are somewhat stereotypical, with Kass being the usual hot-headed Lilty and Sera Li being a lone-wolf Selkie, but they are so interesting and endearing that it really doesn't matter. Ciaran is the best Clavat hero I've seen, he just captures the essence of what Clavats are like so perfectly-
kind, charismatic and dependable without being a pushover. Your four characters work well together as a team, and if Crystal Chronicles really did have a storyline, it's hard not to imagine that the Trinity caravanners would be the main charachters.
Another area in which you excel is blending your plot with the game's established world, integrating characters such as Gurdy, De Nam and Princess Fiona seamlessly into your tale with plausible explanations as to how they tie in with your plot.
Other reviewers have already pointed out that Sera Li and Mioko dominate the story more than Ciaran and Kass do, so I won't go into detail on that. I have to wonder, though, why does everyone make their female Selkies fall in love with De Nam? Ladycordelia17 had him paired with her character Anais Nin, Kestrel87 had him together with her character Trista, and if Sasukeblade is to be believed, his one true love was a Clavat girl named Lulie. Perhaps it's the heroic appeal of his tragic death, but I find it strange that so many writers see him in such a romantic light.
I'm afraid I really can't think of any constructive criticism for you, but there's not much about your story that I can fault. I see you haven't updated in a long time, so I hope you do decide to finish this story eventually. Also, I should thank you for inspiring TitleContreven to write his own fanfiction, as it's turning out to be a very interesting story. Do you notice some influences from your own fanfiction in his? I recall Mioko fantasising about having a knight in shining armour to protect her. Well, Colette really does have a knight in armour to protect her in the form of Dirk. And, of course, there are clearly paralells between Liam and Colette and your charaters Ciaran and Mioko.
Another thing that you must consider for the final battle; when the Trinity Caravan faces Raem in his final form, they will undoubtedly suffer the loss of some of their memories. You should consider how much of their memories will be lost during this fight, and whether they will still be the same people afterwards as they were before the battle. This is an issue you should not avoid.
By the way, I've just noticed...Mioko' s name has the word "Mio" in it. Could this mean she has a connection with Lady Mio that would explain her special abilities?
Needless to say, I'll be back to review again the next time you update.
| WolfspiritSD chapter 23 . 1/1/2010
I absolutely love this story! I've read it so many times over and reccomended it to my friends. This story actually has depth and your writing style is amazing. I can't 'till you update!
| TitleContreven chapter 23 . 12/13/2009
Before I even start to get into my review of all the chapters to this point, I would like to make something else clear. This fanfiction in particular swayed my interest in writing my own Crystal Chronicles fanfiction. Before reading this, I was kind of on the fence between writing something for Crystal Chronicles or writing something for Final Fantasy I-VI, but reading this caused several ideas to piece themselves together in my head to create a coherent story, filled with wonder and mystery. So sincerely, thank you for writing this. It has been a key source of inspiration for my own writing "genius", if you'd call it that.
Oh, and I already credited you for a shared concept between our stories. It's a very small one, though, so please don't sue me! Anyway, on to the review...
I very much liked how you threw the reader into the world immediately, without taking the time to introduce the characters properly or use any sort of fluff-filled introduction that would talk about the previous years. Far too many conceptual fanfictions use this other approach (mine is no exception), and they end up being mediocre at best. Way to avoid the clichéd opening and draw the reader in with something different.
And speaking of drawing the reader in, the characters that you've created are believable and realistic, given the seemingly hopeless situation that they are facing. The generic molds that are the Tribes are all represented very well, with subtle tweaks in each of the protagonists that makes them stand out amongst the rest.
There's very little to be desired as far as the characters go; sadly, I do have some qualms for you. While I can relate to all of the characters pretty well, it seems like, over everyone else, Sera Li is getting a lot more character development than the others. It's understandable, as she is the obvious main protagonist and the one your creative design has placed the most significance on, but...give the others a chance, you know? I mean, you do have the love story between the Clavats (let me tell you, it makes the story all the more believable, since the concept is used practically everywhere in these types of stories), and the inevitable tragedy-in-a-bottle that is Kass, but I feel like something important is missing for these three. While I was reading the past few chapters, I found some very subtle hints in your writing that said, despite Ciaran's feelings for Mioko, he feels a bit burdened by her now that he's grown so close. Perhaps that's just me following empty leads, but people can attest to how utterly meek Mioko is known to be. It sometimes leaves me questioning why she's even in the Caravan. And then there's Kass, whose character development kind of stopped in Shella, as he was left to rot in his own doomed existence. So, not for nothing, but...give the other characters a little more development time before this is all over, okay?
I'm sorry if some of this sounds very blunt, but I say this because I really want to see this fanfiction continue to its end and continue to impress me, as it has so far. I say this to everyone, but don't take this the wrong way. My reviews are meant to be constructive, not destructive.
Continuing on now, the world that the characters are faced with is much darker and yet much more realistic than the one given in the actual game that this is based on. For this, I must congratulate you, as it is a solid depiction of a world teetering on the edge of total destruction. The problem that has to be resolved is equally as compelling, as it makes the many adventures of the Trinity Caravan seem all the more worthwhile. No longer are they reduced to tools of their village and of the Crystals - they are human beings in a starkly human world that is in need of all the help they can provide.
Again, it's very hard to find anything wrong with this, but I'm very picky for a reason. First and foremost, the "Miasma poisoning" that Kass suffers seems a bit too random to be of any actual significance to the casual reader, aside from the obvious changes in the character that this will provide for. It just seems to me that, if the "voices" in the stream couldn't penetrate his resolve before, I doubt a couple of minutes outside of the Crystal's barrier would put such a damper on his resolve that it would leave him so vulnerable. Another thing that's bothering me is the self-appointed "leader" of the plan to renew the Myrrh: Amidatty. I understand what you were going for when choosing him, but the usual angst that permeates the story as a whole due to the crisis facing the world is made almost comic when its only opposition is a guy who is convinced that a loaf of bannock is a map of the world. Maybe I'm just an Amidatty-hater, I don't know. But it just seems like that choice was very paradoxical to the overall feel of the story, even though it made the most sense in hindsight.
As you can see, a lot of my arguments are very selective, and I don't expect you to follow every single one of my criticisms to the letter. I even have trouble expressing any form of criticism when I read some of the more memorable chapters and realize just how great of a story this is turning out to be. As such, know that I am rooting for you all the way, and hope to see more of what I've come to enjoy with this fanfiction in the future.
I'm adding this to my Favorites (was there any doubt in your mind?), and I'll keep my eye on this for updates. Keep up the good work.
P.S. Long review; sorry to anyone who finds this annoying.
| Carol chapter 23 . 10/22/2009
I love it, every word of it I like the way you describe the lynary desert and the hard time that the caravans have when they are there. I want to know what will happen next? They are going to find the myrrh tree or the unknown element Well thats it keep going with the story I love it.
Until the next chapter
| PhysicalGraffiti chapter 23 . 10/16/2009
This fanfic is great. I love the way you added to the canon and worked how much of the game happens into it. I wonder how it is all going to end and the fate for De Nam, because that is pretty much unclear in the game (hope he lives since Bal doesn't... or does he?). Keep it up. :D
| Master-of-Omega chapter 23 . 10/14/2009
Wow. It's been a while eh? The weirdest thing happened yesterday: I got an alert you updated, but it hadn't changed or somthing. It was still on 22. Glad that change. Purple and black eyes ARE usually enought to get an annoying theif to turn tail, good to see Kass is making the best of it. Looks like Sere isn't to keen on finding the fith element, but hey, the only source is Gurdy. GURDY. Btw, I know what the fith element is, wanna hear? No it is not light, nor dark(duh). It is... Alkahest. Never heard of it? Not surprised. well, when alchemy was the only form of science all those centuries ago, there were 3 main goals:
1) Create life.
2) Turn comman metals into gold.
3) Become immortal.
Of course they failed, but they believed the key to success was the Philosopher's Stone, physical manifestation of the ultimate element that ruled all else: Alkahest. Which, sadly does not exist. Otherwise we'd have somthing to keep us from dying, cure all diseases, ect.
... You probably don't even care. But if you do: YES! I FINALY FOUND SOMEONE WHO GIVES A CRAP! lol.
| BreathlessCyan chapter 23 . 10/14/2009
Sweet! Not only an update, but a great chapter as well.
In the beginning, with the thieves and the children... It's sad, how they've had to resort to stealing, and how the Selkies were forced from their homes, and the only place they could find was a desert island, barely surviving. It's horrible, unfair. And the other races hate them for being such thieves, even though it is their own falt.
Good chapter, Can't wait for more in the Lynari Desert.
| Carol chapter 22 . 8/5/2009
Oh my god your fic is just awesome all the things about it are pretty much amazing is a complicated and interesting story I love it please update soon. oh and I investigated a little bit about Bal Dat and he does have a family. He has a sister name Bel dat(For me this sounds like Gurdy and Hurdy) But her sister is just as awesome as him. I hope this information help you with your ideas for the next chapter if you already knew about it well is amazing because for me it was liked a shock but well thats all and please keep with your story I want to know more about Kass is he going to die please no I love him, and about Ciaran, Mioko and Sera Li yes I love them TOO so please write soon.
Hope you luck bye
| Turnip the Scribe chapter 22 . 8/2/2009
Whoohoo! An update! :D
Ooh. I think things are starting to take shape - the pieces are aligning themselves. Lynari desert and past the fields of Fum...
I also love the development you have going for all the characters; you don't seem to want to leave anybody out. I love Zephyr. And not just because Yukes are my favorite, either. He reminds me a bit of Jeeves, always with a plan that he somehow manages to get everyone else to agree to. xD
And I wonder how common half-breeds are? Fiona's the only one mentioned in the game, to my knowledge...it's a wonder that she can go incognito, considering.
Really pleased about the update! Don't work yourself too hard, though!
| Link18 chapter 22 . 8/1/2009
You got really good at writing while you were gone.
The character interactions are unique and well played. I feel like I'm reading a real story, and not just some ramblings from a fanboy/fangirl.
In this chapter, relatively little goes on (plot-wise), and yet it is still very captivating.
Did you take a writing class or workshop during your absence?
| SasukeBlade chapter 22 . 7/30/2009
Why is it that even in the midst of a happy moment, you manage to take my mood and twist it until the happiness is bittersweet?
"“Nah. Not even married yet.” He looked out over the Jegon and an altogether different smile spread across his face. It was sadder. “Got plenty of time for that.”
Fiona sat with him on the bank until dusk came."
It was right there that you got me. You never know how much time you have, and suddenly they're all facing their own mortality. I liked the interlude and am looking forward to you getting back into the swing of things.
P.S. Nate x Fiona forever! I am officially sailing your ship, so to speak.
| BreathlessCyan chapter 22 . 7/30/2009
O.o I was surprised when I saw this on my email, but happy!
Nothing with the trinity caravan, but I like the interaction with princess Fiona and the Dezelta Caravan. Kind of a short chapter, but I hope things aren't so busy that you could maybe update again soon? Maybe? :P