|Reviews for fiat lux|
| neverlasting-legend chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
Angsty but it captures reality so well. I feel for Kairi but I can almost see Sora's reasons too. And poor Tidus.
| Queen of Dreaming chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
It's a bit difficult to know what to say about that. A few critiques and quite a few compliments, ideally.
It seems that well-written schizoid angst is a bit of a signature of yours (I read your "Boys Will Be" too and I'm going to review that as soon as I can find something to say besides "Holy * you call that a LITTLE creepy I do not want to see what you call really creepy", because it's well-written and deserves better than that), but there is such a thing as going too far. I know this was meant to be confusing at first, but I think the anachronic order worked against you. I actually copied it all out and re-ordered it on my computer (no, I'm not going to repost it or anything, ever, personal use only because I wanted to see what it looked like) and I really liked it better that way. It made sense and yet still blurred the line into chaotic confusion and required focus to comprehend, which if I'm reading this right is the effect you were going for. And for a far less drastic critique, I think you could use a beta-reader. I know that it would destroy the story if the grammar was perfect, of course, but on the other hand I doubt you meant to be discussing vegetables in section ix. (If you didn't know, a leek with two e's is a thing like an onion.)
Now, on to the praise!
The Axel thing was a stroke of genius. It fits in so well and brings in extraneous elements, and it was so beautifully justified and serves as wonderful foreshadowing for Kairi and Tidus (which is part of why I think it would work better in order, because it still works and then readers can catch it and make the connection more easily, but I'll stop harping on that issue now). And that brings me to my second reason to rhapsodize - Kairi's affair of sorts with Tidus. Again, it makes me want to cry when I read it, and it seems so real, and so logical, and so completely likely to happen. And I love the idea of little Trithe, and I love Kairi and Riku's brother-sister relationship, again, is beautifully in-character and consistent and perfectly written. And there are a ton of other little details that just get me, too, like Kairi sneaking into the secret place to listen to Kingdom Hearts, and the callback to the end of the first game. What I love the most, though, is the whole process of the story. The element of Kairi constantly waiting is one of the saddest things about the story to me, and it just makes me nuts sometimes that canon hints that it's easy for her. So I love that you make me feel so clearly, so passionately, the toll it takes on her. And I love, truly honestly love, the beginning/end, with Kairi watching her lover and her son together, and the idea that Sora is finally, finally, maybe there to stay. I wish I could really rhapsodize about it to the extent that it deserves, but I think it would get repetitive because there are only so many ways to say "genius".
Please, I beg of you to write Sora's companion piece to this. And maybe, if you can coax it out of your muse, one for Riku too?
| Mellifluence chapter 1 . 10/9/2007
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
...although piecing it together correctly in chronological order was goddamn hard though!
| Story Weaver1 chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
Very emotional and I like that. However the plot is something I have problems with. KH1 the trio was thrown to the winds. KH2 Sora was trying to get back. So I don;t see much reason behind Sora always insisting on Kairi always staying behind.
But allowing for that and the rest should follow like you have said.
Kairi being the first for a keybland instead of Riku but rejecting from tramua makes sense. and explains the reason Kairi was able to hold and wield the keyblade Riku tossed her.