|Reviews for Perfect Child Chapter Two|
| Rae Maria Wyatt chapter 1 . 8/29/2008
Eh... Just for your own future reference, putting "no flames" in your story summary or anywhere within the story will attract flamers.
The punctuation, spelling, and grammar were fine. Although, I did see a few typos and it'd be best for you to proof read it a few times more.
The other rather annoying thing I noticed was the way you used speech. It appears that you end almost every sentence within speech with a period. This is incorrect. Example:
"I love thunderstorms," Brad said.
"Really? I hate them!" Mary disagreed.
You seem to not use many question marks even when one is asking a question. I suggest that this be fixed. Please keep actions outside of speech as well. Putting parenthesizes around actions is also incorrect.
I suggest replacing Japanese words with English ones. The majority of readers do not understand Japanese words or phrases.
As for plot, characterization, and theme I'm not really into the whole hurt/comfort thing. I'm not too fond of how Ami is portrayed either. She gets a little mellow dramatic at times.
I don't really like or dislike the character of Maia. Ariel is the typical older sister, nothing special. I'm not entirely sure how they act, as I haven't read this supposed first chapter. They didn't have any Sue qualities about them, which is great.
Overall, I just wasn't into it. It was averagely written. The plot was unique for the most part, but it contained too much drama for my tastes.
| Angel Raye chapter 1 . 10/7/2007
Really good but where's chapter 1?
| Silver Sailor Ganymede chapter 1 . 10/6/2007
Onii-san means 'older brother', onee-san would be 'older sister'. Rini's sister is called Gemmei, not Genmei, but if you're using Mini Saturn Jess's siblings for the senshi instead of Angel Raye's, Rini's sister is called Hailey. If you're using all Japanese names, it should be Makoto, not Lita. Overall a very sweet story, I liked it a lot.
| Mini Saturn Jess chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
Hey! That was awesome! There were spelling errors, but aside from that I enjoyed this. Nice ending. I hope you write some more stories. You have my permision to use my characters, though I do need to warn you now. I've changed some of my characters and added more. I wanted some of them to have little brothers. 'cause I found it weird for them to have two girls each an no boys. anywho! Good story!