Reviews for Rockstar
GrumpySeptiplier chapter 1 . 12/31/2013
Aww cute love it
RockStarForever1998 chapter 1 . 12/6/2013
Was OOC just sayin
spicebutterfly chapter 1 . 8/20/2013
Hannah Montana, I used to like Hannah Montana but if Sam was singing a song called "Rockstar" maybe if I would write a song for her to dance and sing
Elephi245 chapter 1 . 8/17/2013
Okay, I know that you've heard the same constructive criticism over and over again, but I feel like I have to say something here.

First of all, Sam would NEVER sing Hannah Montana. I can see her singing more along the lines of more classic rock. Now, I've read your profile, and I know that you like Hannah Montana and High School Musical, but that still doesn't excuse you from writing Sam out of character.

The next thing I'd like to point out is that you use way too many of the same words to describe Sam, Danny, and Tucker's actions. For example, you use the word "asked" over and over again, and the word eventually gets boring and overused. If you want to expand the variety of words you use, maybe try using "questioned" or pondered aloud", or try looking things up under . It really helped me, and most of the time if you have a conversation between two people going back and forth, you don't even need to describe their actions every once in awhile because the reader can distinguish what character is saying what if the conversation is written well enough.

Dually noted, you should italicize your thoughts, as well as your song lyrics. You claimed in your author's note that the lyrics to the song would be bolded, but they weren't. With that, I would also like to say, that you should distinguish the difference between an author's note and the story itself. Maybe try putting an A/N or bolding the letters, possibly both. Back to the subject on italicizing your thoughts, don't put quotation marks around a person's thoughts. Quotations are meant to express that the person is talking, not thinking. If you've read novels like Harry Potter or (seeing as you like High School Musical) the HSM continuation through novels, you'll see that thoughts are italicized.

Okay, moving on, I cannot stress enough how much you need to improve your own grammar. Please proofread your work before you post it, and a couple mistakes that are fixable are okay, but please have a friend read over your work and see if they can depict what you're trying to say. Please use a comma when you complete what a person is trying to say, unless it's a question or an exclamation. That being said, don't use the same noun in the same sentence. This is shown in the first sentence with the word "locker". You shouldn't have to repeat the word again. Below is an alternative sentence that would work out better.

Sam walked toward her locker, spotting her good friends Danny Fenton and Tucker Foley.

You should also fully type out the words "okay" and "yeah", and please use commas more. You should use a comma after a person's name when another person is saying their name.

"Sam, can I talk to you alone?"

"I do need you, Sam."

I'll take this time to point out a nitpicky thing I see with a lot of authors: If you use conjunctions for other stories (I couldn't find any mistakes with conjunctions here), don't use them to start sentences. Grammatically speaking, a conjunction is used to connect two parts of a sentence, hence the prefix "conjunct", as it means "to connect".

Lastly, I'd like to point out just some various mistakes that I've come across while reading this. Instead of using the word "while" or "starting", use a comma to replace "starting".

Danny blushed as the music started.

"Thanks," Sam nodded, her cheeks reddening.

Like I said before, use a bigger variety of words in each individual chapter. Also, if you want to write a Song-Fic, it shouldn't include lyrics to the song. Now, seeing as Sam is actually singing, you can make an excuse, but you should write Song-Fics along the lines of the song or even according to the music video. It even says in the Fan-Fiction guidelines that you shouldn't write entire song lyrics in your story. I think the last thing I'll say is that you shouldn't use words that describe a sequential order. I've noticed the overuse of "then" in this story, and it gets quite bothersome after awhile.

Please don't see this as a flame, but rather as constructive criticism. I realize that this was written awhile ago, but I think that you should work on writing more before you post anything else. I know that it's easy to get excited about writing, but I've had my account for 6 months and in that time I've only posted 2 pieces. There's writing potential for everyone, and I hope that you realize that you're capable of doing anything if you try to work towards it. Good luck in your journey to improve yourself grammatically, and stay strong.

Solangelo-Ships chapter 1 . 7/30/2013
S. Whisper chapter 1 . 11/20/2012
nice job! I LOVE SANNY!
Guest chapter 1 . 8/3/2012
It was awesome
Lady Merp chapter 1 . 10/6/2011
So cute :) -CC
hi-i-am-Marina chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
i really like it
cameryn barnes chapter 1 . 7/20/2011
loved this!you should do more
MeganCullen110 chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
I loved it!
biggestDPfanEVA chapter 1 . 3/26/2011
i luv the fic,hate wut u made her sing!
biggestDPfanEVA chapter 1 . 3/26/2011
i hate hannna montana!2 childish 4 me!
biggestDPfanEVA chapter 1 . 3/26/2011
i used 2 pretend that i wus sam and that would happen!
Escritura-sola chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
Ok. I'm not going to be a jerk or anything, but this needs some help.




Example:Sam was walking towards her locker and saw her friends Tucker Foley and Danny Fenton at her locker and started talking to them.

"Hey guys." Sam said.

"Hey Sam." Tucker asked looking down at PDA.

"What's up?" Danny asked.

"Not much ."Sam answered.

"Did you hear about the talent show?" Tucker asked.

"Of course! Sam replied.

"Are you doing the talent show?" Danny asked and wonderd.

"Yes I am." Sam replied with a smile as she put her head on her locker.

"Cool." Danny said.

That has grammer and puncuation. I added not much details, but I wanted you to see just how it might have looked.

Good luck!
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