|Reviews for The Chosen|
| xXAsaFruwakwaXX chapter 13 . 12/14/2011
I like this a lot, but is this made up or true?
| Racke chapter 17 . 2/22/2011
Thank God for happy endings.
... I honestly don't know what to say. This was beautiful in all the right spots, funny enough to make me laugh much too loudly, and just generally pleasant to read.
Again, thank God for happy endings, because I might really have started crying if she'd actually stayed dead.
| Freedom Kira chapter 17 . 3/9/2010
Hey Mr. Arandel!
Wow, I haven't been around for a while. I doubt you can remember me. I didn't have the time to give for a chapter-by-chapter review like I normally do, but your work is excellent as always. I'll see what I can remember to point out in this review...
Kotaro x Yue: It's an unimaginable pairing, but that just makes it so much sweeter. I love it; they're just so cute together. The artifact is a nice touch too D
Spellcasting: I'm impressed that you took the time to either translate a spell into Latin or take it from the manga word-for-word. I'm not sure if Mr. Akamatsu would use the same spells, but whatever.
Fighting: Nice twists; I guess it doesn't take a manga artist to think of good fight scenes P
But yeah, very well planned-out. I enjoyed reading them while on edge.
Plot: I can't tell how much of the story is your own fiction, actually. It flows so well and everything just makes so much sense that it could easily be what Akamatsu planned. Of course, you've read more of the manga than I have so far, so maybe it's not made-up, huh?
Romance: This is where you always shine. I just love your fluff scenes. I kinda wish other pairings got their own time too, though I guess that would make the story less orderly.
Spelling/grammar: Hasn't changed much since your older pieces of work. Some spelling slipups get past your spell check, but for the most part are understandable.
I grew up learning that when a person makes a quoted statement, it should terminate with a comma, not a period, before the quotation marks. "That apple is red," Negi said. Just something I thought I'd throw out there; I hope I don't sound like too much of a grammar Nazi.
Length: Your chapters seem a bit longer than your usual works. I looked at the word count for this story and compared it to another one of your works, "Leaves in the the Wind" (I don't know if that was intentional, or if you are able to change the title), and this one has about 26600 more words with the same number of chapters.
All in all, another excellent piece you should be proud of. I tend to be someone who would rather wait until the entire thing is complete before reading; it's the same when I watch anime. So, you probably won't get much input from me on your works in progress, but I still look forward to reading them. I've actually recently started reading during my work breaks. It's pretty refreshing; I think I would be napping otherwise, heh...
| StaminaRose chapter 17 . 2/20/2010
impressive work, i gotsa say.i love the neginodoka pairing, and i adore the YueKotaro pairing.
It was nice and long, it built up things slowly, i was surprised at how well you did the battle/magic scenes too, since i usually suck at those and most of all the characters were kept... in character throughout.
Honestly, i wuv it!
Anyways, i was actually in the process of writing a YueKotaro fiction myself (gots 2 chapters done). unfortunatly its going a little odd, in that theres this tiny speck of something imperfect that i cant quite figure out. so i guess i have to ask a) do you know of any other YueKotaro fics out there anywhere? even small one shots would do. and B) would you mind taking a look at a chapter and maybe tellin me what ya think, id love to have your opinion, since you seem to be a well reviewed and respected negi writer (as your reviews and this fiction show) XD
thanks hon buns in advanced!
| cancerlad chapter 5 . 1/27/2010
The line about Kotarou and Grandpa Springfield's cat is one of the funniest I've read in a long time. Ambrant has a knack for capturing the tongue-in-cheek humor of the series, preserving the character's voices, all while making the series something of his own.
| Hiatus-Man chapter 17 . 8/15/2009
| The Curious Fan chapter 17 . 6/26/2009
A well written story but I have two problems with it:
My secondary problem: How can you keep supporting the closet pervert that is Nodoka? I can only hope that under one roof is NOT a NegixNodoka...
My primary problem: Your portrayal of demons in your stories leaves a lot to be desired, in your stories all demons are evil and run rampant, this is not how it is in Mahou Sensei Negima! in the manga the demons are generally quite friendly and must be summoned to manifest in the plane of existence Mahou Sensei Negima! occurs in. I know demons are a convenient stock villian in stories relating to magic but that does not mean you should use them in a way that is so cliched.
This is not a flame this is simply pointing out two problems in your stories that will hopefully be fixed in the future.
To all other reviewers of stories, is it too much to ask that you use reasonable argument, proper spelling and grammar and that you don't flame for the sake of it.
In summary of the above points use under one roof to have an unconvential or rare have a pairing such as NegixKu Fei or KotaroxKaede and have the demons act as they do in the manga.
Until next review goodbye.
| oh shit chapter 16 . 6/5/2009
Yue grew some balls, damn. Smart of her to take care of loose ends though.
| RandomFanDude chapter 17 . 4/5/2009
I'd say this is my favorite fan-fic. It's really well-written, and I especially like how well you portray NegixNodoka.
Please write Under One Roof!
| Psycho to the Max chapter 17 . 1/11/2009
This is, by far, the best Negima! story I've ever read, and the fourth best story ever (behind three Naruto fics). When I read how Nodoka died, I was thinking "Oh, no no no no. No. You've gotta be kidding me." Then when I read she survived, I was elated. And Negi's choice for a partner makes sense. Asuna has to face whatever is thrown at him as well, so why not together? Plus it will keep Nodoka safe. Which is what Negi wants most. I'd have chosen Nodoka, but that's just me. :3
| AnimeManga4evah chapter 17 . 8/4/2008
MAN THIS IS AWESOME! nice negixnodoka pair though mine favorite was negixasuna but it got crushed :( or maybe not hehe
anywaysi hope you make more negima an Negima story with negi with the dark magic MENACE MAGIA EREBEA! BUAHAHAHAHA that would be awesome :P (a different story line with same person ofcourse and a different pairing srry if i am picky could be a nice story then buahahahah xD)
| Kagetsubasa chapter 17 . 6/23/2008
That is the single-most greatest Negima story I have ever read. The storyline and all the other story elements went perfectly together. I have a lot of favorites on , but I must say that this one of my MOST favorite.
| Fionn the Otaku chapter 17 . 6/23/2008
A wonderful final chapter, I like that Asuna uncertain/tentative in calling Nekane sis and whet Negi said to what he thought was Nodoka's dead body. Another good part how Nodoka survived and Negi's reaction to finding out she was alive as well as how Nana scolded him. I also like how Negi told Nodoka who he would be takeing as his permanent partner and how Nodoka took it. Yet Another good part how Asuna told Ayaka about her new found relationship with Negi and how Ayaka took it as well as how Asuna comforted her oldest "friend".
P.S. You really ought to write a sequal to this fic, hopefully one that focuses on how the relationships between Asuna, Negi, Ayaka, Yue and Kotaro.
| Fionn the Otaku chapter 16 . 6/22/2008
Another very good chapter, I like really like what Kotaro's artifact does and how Yue finished of Galin. Another good part is Negi's attch on his Grandfather and the explination of what the spell Nodoka cast was. I also like Nicholas' last hurrah and how he chose to end his life.
| Fionn the Otaku chapter 15 . 6/22/2008
Yet another great chapter, I like what Kotaro's artfact is and how little he likes it. Another good part is Nicholas admiration of how well the fighters Negi's class were doing and how watching Asuna made him recall how his daughter in law died. I also like how Nicholas responded to Evangeline's barking at him and that she was only lightly affected by it.