Reviews for Don't Forget To Bring A Towel
Happyhighlandcoo chapter 2 . 1/20/2008
when I saw the title, to be honest I first thought of South Park. and Towlie. And then I thought it was pretty ridiculous that the title was referencing South Park, and then I remembered the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Then I see "Wanna get high?"

ahahaha. oohh man. I'm born in 91. and I don't know anything about the Justice League.. Superman?
Alex Wert chapter 5 . 12/1/2007
Umm... okay...

Maybe the sessions I'm having with the shrink are working, because I don't get it.
Alex Wert chapter 4 . 12/1/2007
In my soon to be former office, we had a mandatory harassment seminar. Only one guy went. Now we have a spreadsheet posted on the wall with all the people in the office on one axis and all the different forms of harassment on the other, and we tally the number of harassments of each type against each participant. It's quite full. I'm somewhere in the middle of the standings.
Alex Wert chapter 3 . 12/1/2007
"You gotta hate it when they try to pad out a classic comedy with a romantic subplot."

Alex Wert chapter 2 . 12/1/2007
Wait - they're flying... from Scranton... to Newark...

It would probably be faster to walk.
Alex Wert chapter 1 . 12/1/2007
I just spent a very long weekend in beautiful Newark with my fiancée. We're broken up now.
ZuksGaia chapter 5 . 11/9/2007
I believe what I must have said must have been something along the lines of, "And I'm taking this bottle [of soda]." But the instant the line was misheard and echoed back to me the original phrase was eliminated in my mind and filed in a folder labeled, "What?".


My interest in comic art spurred so simliarly to Pam's, except I have an eerie feeling that "Batman" would have been substitued with a malformed fusion of Dragonball Z and Sailor Moon.

...Being androgynous has its confusing points.

My concern for Jim has risen as of yesterday's new episode, however... The frightening concept of Jim slowly degenerating into a second Michael-like being is even more disturbing than the Andgela pairing.

And I have a second concern: Is Andy Bernard's Previously Unknown Brother Skip a superhero or a supervillian? Or is that an internal struggle he is dealing with still today?
I Heart Edward Cullen chapter 5 . 11/9/2007
Alright. I looked it up. jim the verb is not on urbandictionary, but I figured out how to add words, so if you would provide me with a definition it could be. Think of it... your work would live forever... at least until Y3K. Or something else really nasty like that.

That's what she said.

Anyway... thank you for distracting me from the pain of the writer's strike. Grr. I totally support them... but when it gets in the way of new Office I get very angry. And you won't like me when I'm angry. *turns vaguely chartreuse*

I don't think that's how you spell that color, but oh well. It's just too fun of a word.

"Insane cross-dressing b-movie director and smacking-shooting Draculas" do sound good. I'll check Blockbuster tonight. As well as Reverend and the Makers. I need something new to listen to... I just keep playing The Hive's Veni Vidi Vicious over and over, and while it keeps me from falling asleep while I'm driving, their Swedish accents are kind of driving me nuts.

On to the actual review! There are many ways to interpret that "back a loser" line... It could be very sweet, and there are other places I just don't want my sweet Jim to go. Or maybe I just have issues. O_o

Penn E Loafers. *snorts* Lovely Prison Break thing you got going on there... can't say I ever watched the show, but well done. And I love how you turned Wizard of Oz all evil (because isn't corrupting family entertainment all any person wants out of life?). And the "Friend of Dorothy" thing made me laugh SO hard. As does masochistic Michael. Jan should get a bit and saddle for him. I can see it now...

Jim: You look kind of sore, Michael.

Michael: Spurs? What spurs? I didn't say anything about spurs. These aren't spur marks, if that's what your thinking.

Jim: *jims*

Sex is like Halo... aren't you feeling randy? And to Kelly- I'm sure she'll be partying with Paris in no time. *thumbs up* You go grl!
princessdeleon chapter 5 . 11/9/2007
ya no personal offence but the endind, what was that?
Cousin Mose chapter 5 . 11/9/2007
Whew... I need a moment here, Jack. Some time to collect my thoughts, and pick up the scattered remnants of my psyche.


I don't even know where to begin on this one. It's beyond brilliant. One of these days you're going to have to sell out to Disney and let them design an entire theme park based on the inner workings of your mind. (Yes, I know there'd be an age limit, and that people with heart conditions wouldn't be allowed in without a doctor's approval, but that shouldn't stop you.)

Okay, Andy. He's in prison, and his brother Skip decides to break him out in the shortest lived Office/Prison Break/Arrested Development crossover story in recorded history. That's some amazing work right there.

Also, "Penn E Loafers?" Why can't I think of stuff like that? So not fair.

Pam: She finds a new life as a comic book artist and tantric sex enthusiast. In the hands of someone more dangerous, this could be a lethal combination. And yet, for some reason, it makes perfect sense in this world of yours.

Jim & Dwight: I had to really think about this one to see if I followed the way you seemed to be drifting. And I'm not totally sure I did. However, all homo-erotic implications aside, I like to think that Jim and Dwight got their own spin-off show, entitled "The All-New REALLY Odd Couple." Here's a scene from the pilot episode:

Jim: Hey Dwight, I'm home.

Dwight emerges from the kitchen, wearing an apron that says "Küssen der Koch" and holding a large spatula.

Dwight: Dinner will be ready in exactly four minutes and twelve seconds. You are fortunate you made it on time. I would have locked the front door in four minutes and thirteen seconds.

Jim: I have a key, Dwight. Besides, I wouldn't miss beetloaf night.

Jim sits at the table, and Dwight re-enters with a platter.

Jim: Smells good.

Dwight: That's the cooking spray I used so it wouldn't stick. Butter flavored Pam.

Jim nods and begins to eat, tears welling up in his eyes.


Thanks for sharing this story with the world, and I look forward to your next endeavor.
Cousin Mose chapter 4 . 11/8/2007
Dwight stares at the camera, his eyes bloodshot and wild from a nighttime of television and self loathing.

Dwight: The Boobahs are trying to kill me.

He blinks for perhaps the first time in days. We can practically hear his eyelids scraping across his eyeballs.

Dwight: I think Jim hired them.

The camera pulls back and we see Dwight fashioning a crude shank from a toothbrush and toenail clippers.

Dwight: They won't take me down without a fight.


Jack, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to write this review. I have read this chapter three times on three non-consecutive occasions, and each time I get ready to write a review, something else comes up.

Rest assured that this chapter is another victory in a long series of Jack victories. The way you write Andy is a true force of nature. It's like you've created a sentient hurricane and unleashed it upon an unsuspecting world.

And I love it. Bravo.
I Heart Edward Cullen chapter 4 . 11/6/2007
Blithe Fratelli! *shrieks like a small child*

Sorry, had to get that out. Hope it didn't give you too bad of a migraine... _ But you totally made my evening, Jack. And good news! I will have time to type tommorow, I finally got my main plot. You know how you can think of good jokes, but no actual... point? That was my problem.

But it's better now. *nods*

INTERNATIONAL JEWEL THIEVES! Like the verb "jim," it is destined to earn a place in the urban dictionary. I wonder if anybody can edit that website... it should be like wikipedia, in any case. I looked up my school once, and it remarked that the bathrooms smelled like corndogs. Truly someone with inside information. You can't get stuff like that from encarta, no sirree.

You know, if Jim just waits another day or two, I bet the guards will pay HIM to take Andy off their hands. Or will settle for $26. They could buy a used videogame, or dinner at Taco Bell, or a couple packs of socks or some old Stephen King books... Or maybe all of the above. Sounds like a kickin' Saturday night to me.

Where do you get Andy's pick up lines? Seriously.

I probably would have fallen for the free sample one though... *blushes*

Maybe I won't cancel netflix. I will rent 21 Jump Street! Young Johnny Depp demands it! And I need to erase the negative associations made by Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. O_O

This is just such a good chapter though... coming onto the Virgin Mary. DJ Slush Panties (The radio keeps talking about DJ GlitterPants. Maybe they're related.) Serial killer smiles. GOOSIO! Andy the prison bitch. Sexual harassment (My younger brother- he's in the fifth grade. Apparently they're starting "age appropriate sexual harassment seminars." O_o Political correctness is getting WEIRD.)

And I'm a virgo. Notice all the correct grammar? Yeah.
ZuksGaia chapter 4 . 11/5/2007
I'm a Scorpio. Stubborn, independent... With a ruling planet that is no longer a planet...

But... I have to tell you. My sister and I were having a conversation, when she misheard me as saying the following:

"Andy turned into a bottle [of soda]."

I ask you... that prank-worthy?

:) Update anything soon, please.
maybe.forever.xx chapter 4 . 11/5/2007
This crazy retro fox is a Sagittarius! (Is that old-school enough for you?) I love love love this chapter. I have no idea about the Johnny Depp and 21 lumps or whatever (The only Johnny Depp I know is a chocolate man or a pirate! -I'm so modern-), but I loved it.

You portray Jim so well. Especially how he just jims.

Andy is AMAZING- So, um, can you come get me in jail?

I feel so bad for my Toby! (It's his birthday. How cruel. Pam is so ignorant.) And why DOES Micheal hate Toby? He looks like a puppy!

Update soon.

Nutmeggedya chapter 4 . 11/5/2007
I love Andy's unfortunate little predicament. You write his character really well. Can't wait for more
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