|Reviews for Sour Raspberry|
| Won'tyoulemmego chapter 1 . 5/31
I could tell now all the mistakes, plot holes and other nonsense. But I really enjoyed reading this. It's not really good, god no. But you put your heart in it. And you notice this when you read it.
| coffee-addict247 chapter 2 . 1/19/2015
So before I review just know that I pulled an all nighter and I don't know why I'm reading right now. ANYWAYS, I love your sense of humor in this and I'm upset because I get the impression that Craig dies, but I'm really hooked on your story and writing style! Your word choice is very unique compared to a lot of other writers from this site (and in books I've read even), actually nearly one of a kind, but your sentences seem almost out of order, and somewhat chopped up. I would work on sentence order? I really do love the lack of repetitiveness in your story though, its refreshing. I constantly repeat words in my stories so its a quality I have a hard time with but hopefully that was helpful in some way, now back to reading your story because again I'm hooked! ;)
| Guest chapter 5 . 4/30/2013
Don't worry you shall improve with time and stopping to explain yourself to the readers really shows you care
| Nixing a Rose chapter 11 . 10/21/2010
This story... it shows the scariest things of life, and yet the best. It's scary as hell, but every once in awhile I felt like laughing, but I restrained myself by the next sentence because then I felt like crying. And vice-versa. I swear, this is an awesome piece of work.
But it would be nice to know when the POV changes... Keep up the good work, though!
| FlyingTackle chapter 11 . 8/4/2010
Something about those two draws tragedy. This story was disjointed, messy and traumatizing, but just more powerful for all of that. There were several points that I wanted to cry, but for some reason all the other emotions that were being pumped into me weren't letting that happen. The thing that really made me fall in love with the story was reading Craig's POV. Because in the sane part of his mind, you can really feel his guilt, and how he feels helpless to stop hurting Tweek because he doesn't even understand how sick he is. And how you can see him fall so much deeper into insanity than where he started from. It's not a favorable personality to write and you did it well-both of them, really. Their problems are really...believable, I guess.
It was so...just, such an insight into the darkest, dirtiest bowels of human existence. Gritty and sad and terrifying and I don't know. Not for the faint of heart.
But it also showed how far love will push you for another person. And how it can make you do terrible things without knowing it. Those two are so messed up, but found some fucked up, unhealthy happiness in each other. Ha, the drugged-up dreamlike state of your story has rubbed off on my review.
There are a lot of things I guess I could say, but I think what's the most dire on my mind would be that you should get some original characters here and publish this. More like different names for the same people since you characterized them beyond recognition, but you know. I don't know if there's a lesson in this story, other than what not to do in a relationship, but I feel like I've learned something? Ugh, I'm confused about it, really, but I'm trying to say that I'd buy it if it was a book.
Hopefully you got at least some of what I wanted you to get out of this review, because I'm not sure what that was anyway. Once I read something I adopt the mood of the story, so I'm a little off. But really, this has a lot of what most authors can't portray, and it's brave and impressive of you to do it. Thanks for putting this up here, it really...well, I don't know what, but it really did.
You said your other stories were fluffy? Ha, perhaps my jumbled mind could use that after wading through those dark waters.
| lazeee an demented chapter 11 . 6/9/2010
I liked it but you had a serious problem with your pov's. There was nothing to indicate when they changed and who they changed to.
| Nigiri Ashika chapter 11 . 4/29/2010
I can't believe you have so few reviews for such an amazing story. Each chapter certainly has its own perspective, and though it's clear that you wrote each part at a different time in your life, everything flows together really well. The point-of-view was jumbled and not easy to understand at first, but that lent the story a sort of unique charm. Your characterization is pretty much spot-on for all of your stories, but especially in this one Craig was very much Craig, albeit an older, more twisted Craig. I absolutely adore your writing.
| The Quiet Shadow XVII chapter 11 . 2/28/2010
Oh my God, this made me fucking cry.
Oh, I lied.
I'm not crying.
Keep up the great work, this was amazing.
Oh, and I think Need You Now by Lady Antebellum would be a good song for this.
SLTS is good, too. xD
| hottpocket chapter 11 . 8/10/2009
i dont think this story is retarted! in fact its one of the best stories i've read in a while and i love it. it was bittersweet till the end plus the way you portrayed all the characters especially Craig and Tweek felt so real. thank you so much for writing this. 3
| Droid of Destruction chapter 11 . 4/6/2009
Some misspellings and stuff, but it's easy to overlook. Don't care enough to find them again (i.e. you've just got a review from the Queen of Laziness, who by the way is not a native speaker).
There's something that kinda bugs me, though; you use the punctuation mark where the comma should be in- gah, can't explain, I'll just give an example:
"I suck at explanations." He said. (wrong)
"I suck at explanations," he said. (right)
If there's no need for the "he said" part, then you can use the punctuation mark as you please, or maybe even an exclamation point. Yay!
I know you get me, even though I suck.
Despite that, I like the story, as well as Craig's tragic little solution. He kind of set Tweek free, and that's nice. (Okay, so I did cry a little bit, but I came to the conclusion that he did the right thing)
I think you could describe the atmosphere ("it was a dimly lit room", for instance) and the surroundings, so that the reader would feel as if (s)he was in the story, you know? It would make it a lot more real.
And I'm sorry for not making sense, but I'm tired, lazy, my brain is half-dead and I kind of like you, so it's hard for me to criticize. G'night.
| TrainReckx chapter 11 . 2/14/2009
Very beautiful story, much better than half the crap on this site.
You really did a wonderful job and should be proud of your self.
Your story reminds me of the song "The Ghost Of You" by My Chemical Romance. I don't know if you are a fan of the band but you should listen to the song.
Smells Like Teen Spirit is a very good song, one of the best I have ever heard.
I hope you write alot more stories like this one.
| RococoSpade chapter 11 . 2/9/2009
smells like teen spirit? really? Nice. it was a wonderful story, despite me not usually being into zomg they died storyies but this one didn't quite hold that aspect. great job; the angst wasn't overbearing, it wasn't abuse-ilu-abusesomemoar-plsgimmeanotherchance-happyend (thank god) and it ended nicely. great job.
| RococoSpade chapter 6 . 2/9/2009
you refer to Clyde as Craig multiple times in this chapter (chap 6)
| KittyBePraised chapter 11 . 1/22/2009
A beautiful, very dark, and very enjoyable story. It's extremely sad when the character dies (*sobsob*) but it has such an amazing affect on the reader. This story was just written beautifully and the only thing thats wrong with it... is there isn't more!
| Melby7777 chapter 11 . 10/26/2008
... omg... i can't stop crying now. i hadn't expected that outcome. there were so many others playing in my head, but that one hadn't occurred. i mean, with craig killing himself. but... oh man... that was just so sad. well written, i mean i loved it. but sad-not many things can make me cry anymore. but i am. and i love the feeling. thank you for writing this, i loved it. perfectly written.