|Reviews for Something to remember|
| Kira chapter 4 . 9/13/2013
Love it, thanks for this! If you ever write a sequel, I'm sure no one would complain... ;D
| EHSparkwoman chapter 4 . 2/14/2013
Aww... I think Starscream has a kind of common decency too... And Carly seemed rather surprised by him watching her in the river... Awesome fic! (I don't know what you are on about with the English being bad... it's really good)
| Klicks chapter 4 . 8/4/2012
... Awesome. I'm speechless. Sorry for the short review. But seriously, I'm gonna read every Decepticon fanfic you ever write from now on. ;)
| LucasVN chapter 4 . 12/11/2011
A wonderful bit of character development, I must say, I love the believable way you characterize both Starscream and Carly in this.
| DemonSurfer chapter 4 . 7/9/2011
| chaitea16 chapter 4 . 7/20/2010
Thank you thank you thank you for writing a legitimately charming Carly! Its amazing how hard those are to come by. Her interaction with Starscream throughout this is beautifully crafted without feeling forced or out of place. especially for Starscream. You have an excellent handle on him and the direction you take him in the really make this story stand out.
The ending was also just the right amount of touching but not too hopeful.
| Artemis1000 chapter 4 . 12/21/2009
What a wonderful story! I've enjoyed it so much.
| FluffyBiscuits chapter 4 . 8/11/2009
loved this fic. It was too short.
| FluffyBiscuits chapter 3 . 8/11/2009
I think being in Screamer's cockpit is a fantasy we have all had at one time or another.
| FluffyBiscuits chapter 2 . 8/11/2009
Carly and Starscream didn't kill each other. Amazing.
| FluffyBiscuits chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
Wonder where they landed...
| Cleargold chapter 4 . 3/30/2009
I really enjoyed this, and thought it was very well put together. I’m terrifically impressed that your first language is Spanish, yet you managed to write a coherent and engaging story in English.
Para 4: I think you mean “Decepticreeps”.
I love the comment that Bumblebee is recording the kiss length times. I’d certainly feel pretty uncomfortable having a snog in a vehicle that was really a sentient being!
‘“Can you imagine? Once we control the Decepticon’s space bridge, we’ll be able to travel to Cybertron in a matter of astro seconds. How amazing…”’ – you need plural ownership here – Decepticons’. I believe astro-seconds is hyphenated.
I liked Sideswipe’s comment about being ‘about to rust’!
‘“As always, you put the needs of some filthy flesh creatures above your own kind’s. You disgust me to the core, Prime!”’ – how very like Megatron.
The diamond that makes the space bridge work: of course, Carly’s a scientist, so she would very likely be fascinated by anything like that. Of course, good storytelling techniques are the same in any language. The mention of the diamond upfront is foreshadowing its later usefulness.
‘She was too focused on that diamond that was every step closer to her.’ - looks like “with” is missing before ‘every step’.
And, of course, the Decepticon who’s crashed into the space bridge is Starscream.
Next section, I like ‘army of stalactites’. It mirrors the TF armies.
Starscream’s big blue hand has impact – she instantly knows who this is, and because of that it’s scary. When Starscream is communicating (well, trying to) he probably ought to go to the cavern entrance, because radio waves can’t pass through rock (or metal). That’s why your mobile phone won’t work in a cave or a lift. Starscream would know that, having been a scientist in a previous incarnation. Hey, they’re both scientists – no wonder they hit it off later!
I would start a new para at ‘But suddenly, a dark silhouette...’ for impact.
Great hook at the end, and Carly’s pride mirrors Starscream’s. In their own ways they’re actually a lot alike.
I bet Carly’s bruised all over after Starscream’s little game with her. But I’m surprised he didn’t recognise her earlier. There’s got to be something that’s stopping him from frying Carly, because she’s as rude to him as he is to her. I enjoyed the interplay between them, though.
When Carly helps Starscream with the mirror, I was amused by his very precise, ‘”32 degrees to the right,”’ – how like a machine!
‘“I thought that the spice bridge was programmed only to teleport from Earth to Cybertron and the opposite.”’ – I think you mean “space bridge”.
End of the second section: maybe the reason Starscream didn’t make an offensive remark was that Carly had already walked away?
I love the part about Carly’s improvised bath, and I’m sure Starscream knew she was embarrassed and played on it. He’s not daft, and you told us he’d studied human customs and physiology. ‘”Although you should know your pathetic squishy body it’s very amusing to me.’ – did you mean “is very amusing”? I get the impression he knew she was embarrassed but didn’t quite understand why – I guess if you don’t wear clothes you probably don’t understand modesty.
‘”I don’t need the help of those filthy Autobots, do you understand human?”’ – you could do with a comma after “understand”, and I think in view of their recent exchanges Starscream might put the stress on the word “human” – so maybe italicise it?
‘...that Decepticon maniac, the one his Autobot friends hated the most’ – did you mean “her” instead of his? Likewise, ‘Or wasn’t he, really?’ – I’m sure you meant, “Or was he, really?”
In the attack of the beast, you might wish to replace ‘canine teeth’ with “fangs”. Yes, Starscream does help Carly in the end, but now she knows that he regards her value as being that of a hostage.
Carly’s spent most of this chapter being embarrassed and humiliated, but I think your characterisation of Starscream is spot on.
Okay, now they’re quits – each of them has saved the other’s life. Both are as proud as each other, yet each knows they are dependent on the other for survival.
‘“Save it, human. You are not the first one who calls me coward and neither will you be the last. I’m used to, actually.”’ A couple of typos here: you need “a coward” and ‘”I’m used to it, actually.”’
I like the way the section ends.
I always like it when a character learns something new, and with these two it’s especially good for that to happen when they’re so proud and open enemies. It’s amusing that she’s starting to feel attracted to his personality. Or perhaps even physically attracted to him (I quite like Ultra Magnus, actually).
The fruits – LOL at ‘invaded’!
Core zirconium – I looked this up in my minerals book, and sure enough, zircon crystals can be several colours including colourless, like a diamond. I believe they are very dense, i.e. the atoms squashed together, because geologists use them to date the inner sections of continents which are generally very old, and many have been metamorphosed several times.
Re your fantasy of sleeping inside Starscream’s cockpit – hey, you have a real thing for him!
‘“Just don’t panic and trust me.”’ - Can I suggest you alter the order of the ideas in this sentence for a smoother read: ‘“Just trust me and don’t panic.”’
As Starscream lays his plans, Carly’s realising that he’s not so much of a coward as everyone’s thought. Another revelation about his character. Each one is a plot pivot and turns the screw a little further. This story is very much character-driven.
Starscream’s carved internal skeleton – this little scene reminded me irresistibly of Kyle Reece in Terminator, showing Sarah his bar code tattoo. But it works. And you have a credible reason for Starscream’s voice being so screechy. Bless ‘im! And we have the reason for the title here as well.
‘Carly brushed’ – I think you mean “blushed”.
Good job they did have this grudging attraction for one another or they might not have got back!
As I’m sure you can tell, I really liked this.
Your dedication to Chris Latta: I’m delighted that in TFA Tom Kenny is continuing the tradition of Starscream’s shrill and scratchy voice. It does make him immediately identifiable and is a feature that TFA would be the poorer without. (As it is, it’s rather excellent!)
| Shadir chapter 4 . 9/23/2008
Beautiful, a point of view not very seen of Starscream and very well achieved.
| Meirelle chapter 4 . 5/31/2008
Good story. :)
| Sweden's Pride chapter 4 . 4/19/2008
I have always loved stories where Starscream is stronger then what he appears, where the autobots aren't the good guys they appear to be. I do hope you make some form of a sequel for this story.